In Order To Lead, You Need To Know How To Listen

Bosses & Owners, Colorado, Crazy Requests, Denver, Ignoring & Inattentive, Office, USA | Working | May 28, 2020


I am one of three assistant directors at our company who report to our lead director. We have a team of about twenty employees who all four of us oversee. At the end of the day, each employee submits their production numbers and data which we report for our entire office.

Today, my role is to take everyone’s numbers at the end of the shift. An employee on their first day has not been properly tracking their production. I turn to our lead to ask how to record that.

Me: “Hey, [Lead], [New Guy] didn’t record his info correctly. How do you want me to report his numbers?”

Lead: “Have you gone over the training with him again?”

It has been roughly ten seconds since the new guy has told me he did not properly record.

Me: “Um, no, I’m just trying to fill out tonight’s report and I need to know what I should put in for his numbers.”

Lead: “Why haven’t you done that yet? If someone isn’t doing their work properly, you need to make sure you go over the training with them again!”

Me: “I understand that, but right now I need to get this report filled out and sent in in the next few minutes so this issue is pressing.”

Lead: “What I don’t understand is why you haven’t gone over the training with him again?!”

It has now been roughly thirty seconds since I noticed this problem. Our training for new hires usually takes over an hour and even a quick refresher would take at least twenty minutes.

Me: “That’s not really what I’m asking. I need to know how—”

Lead: “You should know how to train new people. Stop being defensive and do your job.”

They stormed out of the room.

I ended up having to contact our project manager to figure out how to report the discrepancy in the numbers. Later, I checked with the other assistant directors to find out who had trained the new hires that morning. It was the lead director.

A Time-Landlord

Apartment Complex, Date, Landlord, Time, USA, Wisconsin |
Working | May 28, 2020

My partner and I are looking to move into our first apartment. I call a listing for an apartment that doesn’t fit all of our needs but is cheap and decent enough to at least look at. Please note that it is the middle of July.

Me: “Hello, I’m calling to find out if your one-bedroom, one-bathroom unit at [Location] is still available?”

Landlord: “October 4th.”

Me: “Um… what?”

Landlord: “October 4th.”

Me: “Oh, it’s not available until October 4th?”

Landlord: “We are in the month of October, ma’am.”

I’m totally confused and too shy to press the issue.

Me: “I… Okay. Thank you.”

Landlord: “You’re very welcome.”

I hung up. I don’t know what happened there, but I decided I did not want a landlord that either I couldn’t communicate with, or who existed two months ahead of me at all times.

Whereas Men Smell Like Trucks And Dirt?

Bigotry, Canada, Coworkers, Harassment, Office, Ontario |
Working | May 27, 2020

I work in Human Resources and I’m meeting with a lawyer who is defending our company from an unwarranted sexual harassment claim made by a former employee after she was fired. As I am explaining to him that the company culture here would strongly discourage that sort of activity, my two — male — coworkers walk by, talking to one another super casually.

Coworker #1 : “Aw, man, my hands still smell like girl. All day, that smell never really comes off.”

Coworker #2 : “I know, [Female Coworker #1 ] is always the worst. [Female Coworker #2 ] isn’t too bad, but the smell when it’s [Female Coworker #1 ] just lingers and lingers.”

The lawyer gives me an “oh, really” eyebrow, like I suddenly lost all credibility about our corporate culture.

I call my coworkers to come back and, while trying very hard not sound stressed about the answer, I ask them:

Me: “I just overheard the last bit of that. Why do your hands smell like girl, and what does it have to do with [Female Coworker #1 ]?”

Coworker #1 : “Oh, it must have been her turn to buy the soap for that washroom. It just smells like fruit and girl, and the smell stays for hours. The soap [Female Coworker #2 ] buys smells like girl, but you can’t even smell it after twenty minutes or so.”

They wandered off looking really puzzled about why my visitor was laughing so hard, but all I could think was, “Thank God!”

She Doesn’t Know That You Don’t Know, You Know?

British Columbia, Canada, Coworkers, Dry Cleaners, Extra Stupid, Victoria | Working | May 27, 2020


I work with a woman for whom English is not her first language. Her English is actually great, but I think she thinks it is a lot worse than it actually is, so she overcompensates… which leads to scenarios like this.

Coworker: “Do you know what happened to the towels in the bathroom?”

Me: “No, I don’t.”

Coworker: “Oh. Well, I sent them to be cleaned at [Other Location]. Do you know?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Coworker: “Oh. Well, I put a tag on them and sent them to [Other Location] to clean, but they didn’t come back. Do you know?”

Me: “I. Don’t. Know.”

Coworker: “Oh. Okay.”

I turn around to gather my stuff to go home.

Coworker: “But I put a tag on them. And sent them to [Other Location] for cleaning. And they didn’t come back. Do you know?”

I turn back to her with an incredulous look.

Coworker: “Oh. You don’t know.”

Me: “No. I don’t.”

She was actually quite intelligent and knew three or four different languages, but… boy, her questions could sure be tiring sometimes.

Putting The “Man” In “Manager”

Bosses & Owners, Harassment, Office, UK | Working | May 27, 2020


I am waiting by the printer having just refilled it with paper. My manager is at his desk not far from me.

Manager: “Don’t you hate those tan lines?”

I turn and see him looking at me.

Me: “What tan lines?”

Manager: “Your bikini line.”

Me: “How the h*** are you even able to see that far up?”

Manager: “When you bent over to refill the paper tray.”

Me: “…”

Manager: “What? If you don’t want men looking, you should crouch more like a lady or stop wearing skirts!”

I was extremely uncomfortable and ran to the HR manager. She was quite furious about it and demanded he be suspended until an investigation took place. Senior management, though, just sent him on equal opportunity training; the HR manager resigned in protest.

It seemed to work on my manager, though, as now he refuses to lift his eyes up from his desk. I can’t stand to be in the same room as him, though, so I have requested to move departments. If I’m denied, I will be resigning also.

“Heartless” Is Right!

Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Providence, Rhode Island, Sub Shop, USA | Working | May 27, 2020


When I first got hired at [Sub Chain], I always heard complaints from the other employees bashing the owner of this particular one and calling her nasty names. I always thought that they were just exaggerating or being lazy because most of them were teens — despite being fresh out of high school myself.

About a year in, I realized they weren’t wrong when I was made to work with them. This is the thing that finally broke it for me and made me quit.

I only hear the manager’s half of the phone conversation. Her father was in the hospital prior to this for other health conditions and has had heart attacks before.

Manager: *Through tears* “I just found out my dad had another heart attack and he’s not doing well. They don’t think he’s going to make it. I’m leaving to go be with him. You need to find coverage or [My Name] will be here alone until twelve.”

Now she is angry, crying harder, and screaming into the phone.

Manager: “What?! No, I can’t ‘just finish my shift’! My father is in the hospital dying!”

The manager hangs up and leaves. After that, because the boss can’t find anyone to come in, she has to come in herself to “help” — all she does is ring out customers — and this is what she says.

Boss: “I can’t believe she just left like that! She’ll be lucky if I don’t fire her for walking out!”

Me: “Um… her dad is in the hospital; he could be dying. You seriously expect her to stay at work for what could be the last time she can see or even talk to her father?”

Boss: “I don’t care. She has a job to do. She should have finished her shift before going to see him. It would only have been six hours.”

I take off my gloves and start heading for the door because I seriously can’t work for someone THAT heartless.

Boss: “Where are you going?”

Me: “I’m leaving, you’re a heartless f****** c***.”

Boss: “How dare you talk to me like that?! I’m your boss!

Me: “No, you’re just a b****. I quit. Look in the mirror and you’ll see why all your stores are short-staffed.”

After a while, I did go back to that shop for some food and to see some of the coworkers I liked. I found out that the manager also quit, and the boss didn’t tell anyone else why she was there alone that day apart from “they both walked out.” My old coworkers were appalled to hear why we both walked that day.

He Doesn’t Need Supervising; He Needs Babysitting

Crazy Requests, Employees, Jerk, New Hires, Office, UK | Working | May 27, 2020


A new employee comes into my office and huffs at me while I’m on the phone. I ask him to wait outside but he sits down and glares at me. I hang up.

Employee: “Finally! That is so disrespectful, talking to someone on the phone when there’s someone else right in front of you.”

Me: “Well, you did come into my office while I was on the phone and my door was closed. So, technically, you were being disrespectful to me.”

Employee: “Whatever. I need to make a complaint.”

Me: “What about?”

Employee: “[Supervisor].”

Me: “And what’s the problem?”

Employee: “He keeps telling me what to do. It’s so disrespectful.”

Me: “That’s his job. He’s your supervisor. Without him, you wouldn’t have any instruction.”

Employee: “I’m perfectly capable of working on my own.”

Me: “I’m sure you are, but we have a chain of command here. I tell [Supervisor] what needs to be taken care of, and he delegates the tasks to whoever is most able or available.”

Employee: “But that’s so disrespectful. You have to listen to us.”

Me: “Has he given you something you were incapable of doing?”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “Do you believe it was unreasonable?”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “Did you have an issue with doing what he asked you?”

Employee: “Duh!”

Me: “And what did he ask you to do?”

Employee: “Move boxes from the delivery truck! He didn’t ask me; he told me!”

Me: “But that’s his…” *Deep breath* “Why couldn’t you do it?”

Employee: “I could do it.”

Me: “So, why did you have an issue?”

Employee: “I didn’t want to do it! He should have asked me, not told me!”

Me: “Why didn’t you want to do it?”

Employee: “I just didn’t.”

Me: “Did you tell him?”

Employee: “No. I just came here.”

Me: “So, [Supervisor] told you to do something, and instead of telling him, you came here to make a complaint about not liking what he told you to do.”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “Maybe you should talk to him before running to me?”

He glared at me again before raising his hands in frustration and leaving, shouting that no one ever listened.

The other managers and I had a meeting the following week, and the above employee featured heavily in our conversations. He had gone to every manager throughout the week trying to make the same complaint. We all told him the same thing.

We called him and the supervisor in, and we learned that he had only been with the supervisor for the first day, before lying that one of the managers told him he was working elsewhere. When we asked him what he was actually doing, he said he just wandered around for eight hours every day.

As no issues cropped up during the week, he pretty much proved he wasn’t needed and was dismissed. He left a letter behind criticising us all for being “disrespectful. ”

Living In An Olsen Twin Movie

Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Florida, Orlando, Retail, Silly, USA | Working | May 26, 2020


In my store, we have a few different choices when it comes to what we wear. Today, my coworker and I wore the exact same thing. My coworker has also dyed her hair to barely a shade darker blonde than me.

I notice the team lead walk by a few times and every time he does, he does a double-take at us. On one of the passes, he stops.

Team Lead: “You guys are throwing me for a loop today. You’re both wearing the same thing and you’re both blonde.”

I felt bad for him the rest of the day, even worse knowing in a few weeks I was planning to dye my hair red which would then confuse him all over again.

The Scams Are Coming From Inside The Walls

Credit Card Company, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, USA, Virginia | Working | May 26, 2020


My grandmother falls prey to an Internet scam that results in a recurring charge on her credit card every month for $100. After a few months, she asks my mother and me for help, so we call the credit card company.

Employee #1 : “Okay, we have issues like this all the time. Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to cancel this card and send you a new one, but I’ll put a security hold on your account so that your new information isn’t forwarded to the scammers. Then, I’ll start the paperwork to see if we can refund the fraudulent charges, and I’ll open an investigation into the scammers. Does that sound good?”

We thank him profusely for his help and even agree to pay extra to have my grandmother’s new card overnighted to her so we can put this mess behind us. But the next month, we see the fraudulent charges again. Because my grandmother has updater services — when she gets a new card, her company automatically sends the information to the companies that she has recurring charges with — we realize that the security block must have failed, so we call again.

Employee #2 : “I’m looking at the account, and I see that a new card was issued, but there’s nothing in the file about a security block for these charges, no paperwork started at all about the fraud, and no open investigation.”

Grandmother: “So, what you’re telling me is that your coworker openly lied to me over the phone when he said he was taking care of all that?”

It turns out that was pretty much the case. The second employee was very helpful. She stayed on the line with us while she did each step and confirmed that she’d completed each one as she did. We spoke to her supervisor — who also confirmed that everything had been handled — and told him that she did a great job, but we lodged a very strong complaint about the first employee who’d helped us.

This Is Why We Have These Meetings

Bosses & Owners, Employees, Extra Stupid, Fraud, North Carolina, Retail, USA | Working | May 26, 2020


We have an all store meeting on a Sunday morning where they have multiple stations set up to have all employees working their opening and closing pitches to customers. It is some major push with corporate to better understand customers through pitching them products or some such nonsense.

As I work in the service department, it doesn’t apply to my direct coworkers or me, but we have to show up anyway. One of the stations, though, is actually with the customer service workers who are going over ways to avoid fraud. One of the store managers who is directly over customer service is there, too.

All the employees are put into groups. My group is the third group to go to this station, so two others have already gone.

Representative #1 : “We need to make sure that, on checks, the name on the check matches their driver’s ID as well as address. Standard operating procedure is to write the customer’s ID number on the check.”

Manager: “If the customer has stolen a debit card but has the PIN, there really isn’t much we can do since we never look at the debit card if they put in the PIN. With a credit card or a transaction going through as credit, though, we can stop fraud completely because we have to put in the CID number on the back of the card so we can match the card with the customer’s ID.”

Representative #2 : “Honestly, it doesn’t matter if the name isn’t right because the whole thing would be between the person who had the card stolen and that person’s bank. So, we could technically stay out of it.”

Me: “So… when it comes to cards we don’t need to stop fraud or have no way of doing it?”

Manager: “With debits, not really, but with credit cards, you match the ID. Weren’t you listening?”

Me: “I was, but [Representative #2 ] just said that really the whole thing is between the person who lost the card and the bank. So, we can catch the fraud but honestly, there isn’t a point to if we still get paid and the person who lost the card isn’t technically on the hook for the charges applied to the card. Basically talking about cards at all is kind of useless.”

Manager: “Well… I mean, we can stop fraud by looking at the ID.”

Representative #2 : *To me* “But it doesn’t matter since it’s between the bank and the person.”

Me: “Yep, we can stop fraud by looking at the ID of the person with the credit card, but if we were to skip that entirely and just take the card, the person who had the card stolen could call their bank and not be on the hook for those charges.”

Representative #1 , Representative #2 , and Manager: “Yes.”

Me: “We’re the third group through here, right?”

You Can Tow A Horse To Water…

Arizona, Insurance, Phoenix, Roadside assistance, USA | Working | May 26, 2020


I work for a towing company that starts up in October 2016. This is exactly one day after it opens up, and all we offer right now is roadside assistance like jumpstarts and tire changes. We don’t have any tow trucks to drive quite yet, though we do have “Towing” in our company name.

We’re also contracted with a large insurance company, and apparently this customer got a card from her insurance company that had our number on it for her roadside assistance program.

Me: “[Towing Company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I’m calling ’cause I got into an accident. What do I do?”

Me: “Have you called your local police to report it?”

Customer: “Yes, but I need a tow.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but all we provide is roadside assistance services like jumpstarts and lockouts. We aren’t capable of providing towing service. When the police arrive on scene, they can call you a tow truck.”

Customer: “Isn’t this [Towing Company]?”

Me: “Yes, but we don’t offer towing services yet. We still don’t have the permits or trucks to do so.”

Customer: “But my insurance gave me your number. It’s on my card. Are you calling [Insurance Provider] liars?”

Me: “No, but that number is probably there for more minor roadside inconveniences. If you had a flat tire, I could help you, but all I can suggest is that you wait for the police to arrive or to call your insurance provider and have them call you a tow truck.”

Customer: “I’m going to report you to [Insurance Provider] and make sure they never use your towing service again!” *Hangs up*

Me: “But we don’t even do towing.”

Towing started up a month later. We’ve never had that person on our records since as far as I could tell.

Well, It’s Certainly Memorable

Coworkers, Illinois, Lazy/Unhelpful, Liars/Scammers, USA, Wedding | Working | May 26, 2020


I am getting married and looking into videography. My budget is minuscule, so I ask a coworker for a quote because I know she has equipment and does this type of work on the side. She quotes me $400 for an edited highlight video including ceremony, speeches, and dances. A week later…

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], did you decide if you wanted to have me tape your wedding?”

Me: “Oh! I almost forgot. Your quote was more than reasonable, but I don’t think we’re going to be able to swing a videographer at all. Thank you, though!”

I go back to work. Later, I see her with her head together with my boss. The two approach me.

Boss: “Are you really not hiring a videographer?”

Me: “Yeah. I just don’t think we can afford it since we went with the more expensive photographer.”

Boss: “Well, I don’t find that acceptable. It’s really important to have a video! I watch mine every year on my anniversary. So, I’m going to hire [Coworker] for you.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Boss: “Consider it a wedding gift.”

Me: “Thank you so much!”

Cue the group hug.

As my wedding approaches, I try to plan details with my coworker. She ends up no-showing to my rehearsal, which is concerning, but the day of my wedding she shows up ready to go. I see her record the entire day on two separate cameras.

Two months later, I send her a message.

Me: “Hey, [Coworker]! I’m so excited to see my wedding video! No rush, but our dating anniversary is coming up in two months, and I was wondering if I might have video by then? I know we didn’t really discuss a timeframe.”

Coworker: “Oh, you’ll have it in plenty of time!”

Two months later, a week before our dating anniversary, I ask for it again.

Coworker: “I can probably get you the ceremony footage by then, but the reception needs more work.”

She sends me the ceremony footage a week after my dating anniversary. It’s nothing special but a great memento nonetheless and I thank her. I decide to be patient for the remaining footage.

Come Christmas, seven months after my wedding, I ask her again.

Me: “How’s the footage coming?”

Coworker: “Well, you didn’t tell me your sister was supposed to sing, so I don’t know how good the audio is going to be.”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t know there was a quality issue. That’s okay. I can get her to record a track; maybe we could overlay it or something.”

Coworker: “That might work.”

Me: “Okay, let me know.”

Three months later:

Me: “Any updates on my video? I can get a track from my sister. I’d love to have it for my one-year anniversary in a couple of months.”

Coworker: “The server it was on crashed and I lost all my work in progress so I have to start editing all over. It’ll be done in time.”

My husband and I go on a trip for our anniversary. Despite constant reminders to her, when we get back, there’s no sign of it. There are lots of “next week” and “tomorrow” conversations before I’m fed up.

Me: “We really need to talk. My wedding was well over a year ago. Why don’t I have my footage? Is it really bad and you’re ashamed to show it to me? Did [Boss] not pay you? Whatever it is, I’m happy to help figure it out! I just need you to communicate with me!”

Coworker: “It got deleted from the servers again. I have the memory cards but I’ll have to start over. [Boss] only paid me for the ceremony so I’m doing this for you as a favor.”

This whole time, my boss has been asking to see my video and pushing me to get it from my coworker, so I clue her in on the conversation.

Boss: “That’s a lie! I paid her $600!”

What follows is a big mess in a group chat. [Boss] claims to have paid her $600 cash. She shows a screenshot of a bank statement with a $500 cash withdrawal about a month before my wedding and says she had another $100 on her at the time.

[Coworker] claims to have been paid by check, either $150 or $200; she doesn’t “remember.” [Boss] claims not to even have checks. [Coworker] then shows a screenshot of her bank statement, showing two deposits for $300 a couple of days apart, but still claiming that she doesn’t “think” she got more than $200.

I’m confused because the original quote I received was for $400. [Boss] claims she paid extra because she wanted me to have more than just highlights which was what I got quoted for. [Coworker] claims [Boss] only hired her for the ceremony and she’s doing this out of the goodness of her heart.

I chime in the group chat.

Me: “[Coworker], if you were underpaid, I’m happy to pay you more! I just want my footage. I don’t even want you to edit it anymore; I just want the raw footage.”

Coworker: “It’s not about the money! I’m just a procrastinator. I have to look for the memory cards. It’s not on the one that I thought it was. You’ll have it Monday.”

We play the “next week” and “tomorrow” game for two more weeks.

Me: “I’m done! At this point, I have to assume you lost it and just don’t want to tell me.”

Coworker: “It’s on a memory card that’s the size of my pinky nail.”

Me: “I, like you, am a photographer. I know how big a memory card is! Do you really keep them in that many different places?”

Coworker: “Well, you know my car was totaled back in March. The memory card was probably in my purse and fell out and I missed it when I was cleaning.”

Me: “That was ten months after my wedding. It wasn’t backed up?”

Coworker: “I’m still looking; there are a lot of files to go through!”

She never admitted to completely losing it. She repeated her car accident sob story to mutual friends and continued to reiterate that a memory card is the size of a pinky nail. Zero apologies.

My boss flipped and demanded her money back. Even though [Coworker] only claimed to have been paid $200, she refunded “half” to my boss, which was $300. I ended up with nothing from my reception, not even a crappy cell phone video of my sister singing for my first dance with my husband. I guess I’m lucky to have gotten the ceremony footage at all.

I have not spoken one word to this girl since. It helps that we don’t work together anymore, but we still have a lot of mutual friends. Moral: do not hire friends and always get it in writing.

Just When You Thought You Were Out…

Bosses & Owners, Jerk, Retail, USA | Working | May 25, 2020


I used to be involved in one of those pyramid schemes in college. The woman who enrolled me said I could work around my classes, so it sounded ideal. I quickly learned I was not cut out for such a company.

My enroller called me several times a week to ask for leads and encourage me to buy more products. I did like the products I tried, but I was not treating it like a serious business, a fact I repeated several times. I made enough on kickbacks and commissions that I broke even, and I was happy with that.

Shortly before finals, I am overwhelmed and exhausted. The only thing I can cut from my life is [Pyramid]. My enroller calls as usual, so chipper that I question what she puts in her coffee every morning.

Enroller: *Super excited* “Hey, girlfriend! How’s it going?”

Me: “I’m exhausted.”

Enroller: “School got you down?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m just non-stop. I can’t keep going like this.”

Enroller: “That’s the beauty of [Pyramid]! We work around you!”

Me: “Right. About that. I’ve been thinking—”

Enroller: “Do you have any new leads?”

Me: “Uh, no. Actually, I need to take a break. Finals are coming up and I really need to buckle down.”

Enroller: *Sad* “You’re quitting?”

Me: “No, not quitting. Just… a hiatus. Finals are over next week, so it’s not long—”

Enroller: *Suddenly angry* “You said you were in this with me.”

Me: “I said I’d work around school. I—”

Enroller: “So, you are quitting. Really, that’s how you are?”

I’m already annoyed that she’s interrupting me so much.

Me: “No, I—”

Enroller: *Happy again* “Listen, I know it’s hard juggling work and school and friends. Girl, please, I’ve been there, done that, bought the T-shirt!” *Laughs*

Me: “I—”

Enroller: “But I’ve been with [Pyramid] for ten years, so trust me. When I started, I was so poor, I’d go days without eating and my kids had to split [Fast Food Kid Meals]. We were living in a spare bedroom in my parent’s house. Thanks to [Pyramid], I have my own roof over my head and a pantry full of food for my children and I don’t have to worry about anything!”

Me: *Uncomfortable* “And that’s great, but I—”

Enroller: “I never quit. Not once. Not when I was living with my parents, not when I was pregnant, not when my mother died. I worked through everything.”

Feeling backed into a corner, my fight or flight instinct is gearing up.

Me: “Look, I’m sorry. This is stressing me out. I’m taking a break. I’ll call you when finals are over.”

Enroller: *Angry* “So, you just come and go as you please?”

Me: “That was part of your pitch: that [Pyramid] works around my schedule.”

Enroller: “FINE!” *Hangs up*

Ten minutes later, the texts start coming in.

Enroller: “I’m glad you’re putting your education first if that’s what matters more to you. But you’re missing out on a great opportunity with [Pyramid].”

A few minutes pass.

Enroller: “I dropped out of college to work for [Pyramid] full time and you know everything I earned because of that decision!”

Ten minutes pass this time.

Enroller: “I’ll do the work for you! Just give me some contacts; I’ll tell them you’re studying so I’m picking up your slack!”

Half an hour passes and I think it’s over.

Enroller: “You said you were dedicated. This isn’t dedication. It’s desertion. I’m disappointed in you.”

I finally give in and send one text.

Me: “You’re crazy and I quit. Do not contact me again.”

I filed a cancellation through the [Pyramid] website and blocked her number. I’m sure there are people out there making lots of money from companies like that, but I was not one of them.

Pick Up A Book: An OSHA Handbook

Bookstore, Bosses & Owners, Boston, Health & Body, Massachusetts, USA | Working | May 25, 2020


I work at a big chain bookstore. One morning, we come in to discover a large chunk of concrete has fallen through the ceiling in the business section. We cordon off the area, warning all customers — cue customers, “But I know what I need! Couldn’t you just run in there real quick?” — and at around midday a contractor comes in to take a look at it.

We’re told the area was stabilized and we shouldn’t have any other rocks falling, but word also gets around that he found up there an old form of insulation known to contain asbestos.

We’re all expecting an immediate store shut-down, but the general manager hems and haws and stalls, saying that he needs to be in touch with higher management to decide what to do.

The next day, we’re back in as usual — now worried about getting cancer, rather than being knocked out by falling concrete. After a few hours, a call comes in over the walkies we all use to communicate:

“[General Manager], there’s a representative from OSHA on line two. OSHA, line two.”

The store is closed for several days.

I’ll Have What He Had

Bad Behavior, Colorado, Delivery, Employees, Restaurant, Silly, USA | Working | May 25, 2020


I live in a state where recreational marijuana is legal. I’m ordering from a restaurant that’s popular with the stoner crowd and the people who work there are usually a little hazy themselves. For this reason, I’m usually pretty thorough about making sure everything I order is correct.

The delivery guy has just delivered my food and, to my surprise, everything is correct. I sit down to eat when I get a call.

Me: “Hello?”

Delivery Guy: “Hey, man, it’s your driver from [Restaurant]. I’m so sorry, man! I took your food to the wrong house!”

Me: “What? No, you didn’t.”

Delivery Guy: “You had [correct order], right?”

Me: *Pause* “Yeah?”

Delivery Guy: “I’m really sorry! I’m running back to the restaurant right now; I’ll be right there.”

Me: “No, dude, I’m telling you, I have everything I ordered right in front of me. I’m in the middle of eating it!”

Delivery Guy: “No, it’s totally my bad. Don’t worry.”

Me: “Listen to me. I just saw you! You handed the food to me! My name is on the receipt!”

Delivery Guy: “Sorry. It’s going to be, I don’t know, like, ten more minutes.”

Me: “Please, I’m telling you: I paid, you gave me the food, and it’s all perfect. You don’t have to do anything. We’re all good.”

Delivery Guy: “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just been a long night. But I’m almost back at the restaurant now, so I won’t be too long.”

Me: “Really, it’s okay. I don’t need anything-”

Delivery Guy: “It’s no problem. Just… Oh, wait…”

He is silent for a good few seconds.

Delivery Guy: “My bad! Have a good night!” *Click*

I never figured out what he thought was going on. The food was great, though!

At Least They Were Honest?

Employees, Food & Drink, Kansas, Restaurant, USA | Working | May 25, 2020


I’m at a restaurant known for their many different hamburgers. I’m having trouble deciding between [Burger #1 ] and [Burger #2 ]. I finally decide on [Burger #1 ]. The waiter comes to take our order.

Me: “I’d like [Burger #1 ].”

Waiter: “Have you ever had it before?”

Me: “No.”

Waiter: “Well, don’t. It’s terrible.”

I kind of just blink in surprise for a moment.

Me: “Well, I guess I’ll get [Burger #2 ], then.”



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That Is Not My Job!

Auto Shop, Canada, Employees, Insurance, Lazy/Unhelpful, Non-Dialogue, Ontario, Vehicle Rental | Working | May 25, 2020


During a storm, a large piece of ice falls off the roof of our house, damaging the windshield and roof of my car. This happens on a Saturday night.

I call my insurance company to file my claim and get referred to a body shop. The shop they send me to is one of their approved/preferred partners. Part of my policy also covers a rental vehicle.

Monday morning, I have to work, so my mom drops the car off for me at the body shop. They ask her if she would like to pick up the rental car at that time. She says no, which is correct. The next day, the agent handling my claim calls to get more details about the incident and follow up.

He asks if I’ve sent the car to the shop yet and if I’ve gotten the rental car. I say yes, the car is at the shop, but because I have a work truck during the week, I am waiting until Friday afternoon to get the rental car. He says that’s no problem; I should just give the body shop a little notice and they’ll arrange it on the day I want to pick it up.

Fast forward to Friday. I get off work around 1:00 pm. I call the body shop to arrange the rental car as instructed. The woman that answers says I have to call the car rental company directly. Okay, no problem. That’s not what I was told, but maybe I misunderstood.

I call the rental company, and the gentleman gets me set up with no issues. That is, until he asks me for a reservation number that my insurance company should have given me. I explain that I never got one. He says that’s okay, I can still go get the car, but I should try to get the number before I get there.

As I’m leaving to walk over to the rental place, I call my insurance company to explain. I’m lucky enough to speak to the same agent that’s handling my claim — I called his direct line first but he was on another call.

I go over what just transpired and request the reservation number from him. He pauses for a moment and I can tell he’s frustrated.

He says, “Really?! That’s part of their job! They’re one of our approved shops. They should have set that up for you. One moment, please.”

He puts me on hold for a few minutes. When he comes back to me, I’m about a minute away from the car rental place.

“I’ve set you up with a proper rental; your reservation number is [number],” the agent explains. “It may take a few minutes for it to show up in their system but it will be ready for you today. I’ve also sent an email to my superiors about this. It shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for your patience.”

I tell him, “No, thank you for helping me sort this out. I’m sorry if I made it harder for you by trying to set up my own rental.”

“Not at all! You didn’t do anything wrong,” the agent says. “They shouldn’t have had you do that.”

We finish the call just as I walk into the car rental place. My rental car is already pulled out and waiting for me, and the staff there can’t have been more pleasant. I just wish the process had been easier.

Gas Problems Are The Worst

Employees, Factory/Industrial, Italy, Lazy/Unhelpful | Working | May 24, 2020


This happens in the pre-cellphone era. Our company routinely performs jobs at a refinery located 230 kilometres away — that is, an hour-and-a-half drive. At 9:00 am, the foreman at the refinery realizes they will need special equipment to complete the job, so he calls the company and they send another worker with a van to deliver it.

At 10:30, the foreman is waiting outside the refinery. At 11:00, he’s annoyed and at 11:30, he starts to worry. The van finally shows up at 12.

Foreman: “At last! What took you so long?”

Driver: *Stalling* “Ehh, I had trouble.”

Foreman: “What trouble? I’ve been listening to the radio; the traffic was fine!”

Driver: “I had trouble… getting gas!”

Foreman: “Getting gas, eh? We’ll talk about that later. Where are you going now? We need to unload the van!”

Driver: “Why, I’m going to lunch before there’s a queue!”

Twenty years later, “I had trouble getting gas” is still the blanket reply whenever someone’s punctuality is questioned!

Skewering Your Hopes Of Staying Contactless

Current Events, Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, Norway, Oslo, Restaurant | Working | May 23, 2020


Due to the regulations in Norway surrounding the recent disease outbreak, most restaurants are closed except for takeout. I head over to surprise my husband with some of his favorite döner kebab to cheer him up.

As I am waiting — patiently, one meter apart from all the other patrons — to order, I see advertisements everywhere in the restaurant asking people to pay with contactless payment methods to avoid unnecessary touching. They’re on the digital menu screens, on signs, everywhere, asking people to pay with contactless methods.

I almost always try to use contactless anyway, so I’m pleased. There should be no reason to touch the PIN pad, as it is a transaction under the currency requirement that makes you enter your PIN code using your bank card.

I eventually make my way to the front, place my order, and go to pay using contactless payment, only for the screen to prompt for me to enter a tip into the keypad and hit “OKAY” to acknowledge the total. The gentleman working there has no ability to enter it in himself, so I am forced to touch the PIN pad regardless.

How Dare You Make Me Do Math?!

At The Checkout, Employees, Grocery Store, Jerk, Money, USA | Working | May 22, 2020


I’m really bad with confrontation.

Cashier: “Your total is $26.15.”

Me: “Okay.”

I hand her $41.15.

Cashier: “What are you giving me all this money for?!”

Me: “I— I— I— Change.”

The cashier gave me a dirty look. She called her supervisor, took a long time to count out $15, and shoved it into my hands. The whole time, she held my items behind the counter. I have no idea how I offended her so badly.

Welcome To The Brain On Autopilot; May I Take Your Order?

Employees, Fast Food, Georgia, Silly, USA | Working | May 22, 2020


While I’m at work, my husband texts me to bring home something for dinner, so I decide to go through the drive-thru of a fast food place famous for their chicken n’ biscuits, since nothing else sounds the least bit appetizing.

Worker: “Place your order whenever you are ready.”

Me: “I’d like two cajun chicken filet biscuit combos, please.”

Worker: “What size and what to drink?”

Me: “Medium and sweet tea on both.”

Worker: *Garbled* “To go?”

Me: “I’m sorry can you repeat that?”

Worker: *Much clearer* “To go?”

I’m still sitting in my car… in the drive-thru.

Me: “Did you ask if it was to go?”

Worker: “Oh… uh… Anything else?”

Me: “No, that’s all, thanks.”

Curbside Pickup Of Disease

Current Events, Employees, home improvement, Lazy/Unhelpful, Non-Dialogue, USA | Working | May 22, 2020


We were in the middle of a widespread health crisis, but I still needed some lumber and other supplies, so I placed the order online — and paid for it in full — with the option to pick it up at the store. When I got the email that my order was ready, I headed to the store.

I parked by the door nearest the pick-up registers and found it locked. There, an employee told me I needed to enter at the pro entrance — at the other end of the store.

Since my purchases included a significant amount of lumber, I moved my truck to the pro entrance, which was also near the lumber dept. There was nobody outside from whom I could request curbside pickup, so I entered and asked where I could pick up my order. I was directed to the pickup registers — at the other end of the store.

But since that door was locked, I had to walk the length of the store inside, through all the other (unmasked) customers. I got there, waited a moment for an employee to call on me, and handed her my order confirmation. She called it in and we waited… and waited… and waited.

Another employee started coughing during this wait, so I stepped several feet away. I didn’t know what we were waiting for because I’d been emailed that the order was ready to be picked up. Around this time, I told the employee that I wanted to exit the pro door because that’s where my truck was parked. She assured me that I’d be exiting that door.

Then, another employee showed up with a cart loaded with my purchase. Now I would have to go back through the crowd to the pro door. I was really miffed, so I asked if I could get out the nearer door. She said no, but that I could exit through the — relatively close — garden center.

I chose that route, as it got me outside quicker, but now I had an even longer way to push the load — and the sidewalk had been blocked by a couple of delivery trucks so I had to push it through the car lane.

And that’s how this septuagenarian got his exercise today. I am so glad I wore a mask, face shield, and broad-brimmed hat to minimize my exposure to all the yahoo customers and employees wandering around the store with no PPE at all.

So much for “curbside pickup.”

She Won’t Last Long… Hopefully

At The Checkout, Employees, Great Stuff, Hardware Store, Illinois, Liars/Scammers, USA | Working | May 22, 2020


I go to the store to pick up something for my mom who gave me a gift card but did not tell me how much was on it. At the checkout, my total comes to $80 and I hand the cashier the gift card. She scans it and then sets it back down on the counter.

Cashier: “Okay, it looks like it’ll be $4.”

I swipe my debit card and it looks like everything goes through fine from the terminal.

Cashier: “Oh, it looks like your card didn’t go through. Try swiping again.”

I go to swipe again and I see that the terminal says that my total is now $76.

Me: “I thought you said it was $4?”

Cashier: “Oh, no, that’s how much was on the gift card.”

This is red flag one, but I decide to just swipe the card again and look at my receipt to see what happened. The gift card is still sitting on the counter so I go to reach for it, but before I get to it,the cashier grabs it and sets it under the counter. Red flag two.

This store no longer gives paper receipts, only email, so I go out to the car and pull up the receipt. It says that my debit card was charged twice, once for $4 and once for $76. She did not use my gift card at all.

I go back in and get back into the cashier’s line. There is one woman in front of me and the cashier gives her change. The woman realizes that the cashier has short-changed her, so a supervisor is called up to the register. That is sorted out and I approach the register, the supervisor still nearby.

Me: *Shows the receipt* “Hey. I checked my receipt and you didn’t use my gift card at all. You just charged my card twice.”

Cashier: “Oh, uh, sorry.”

She kind of just stands there and looks at me. The supervisor starts talking to her.

Supervisor: “Do you still have the gift card? You have to give her the card back. There’s still money on it.”

The cashier reaches under the counter and pulls out a pile of old gift cards. Luckily, I am able to find mine on the top.

Supervisor: “I’m sorry about this. You can go up to customer service and they will get this sorted out for you.”

I go to customer service and explain what happened, and they refund my purchase and repurchase my items with the gift card.

Customer Service: “Can I ask you a question? Did the blonde girl check you out?”

Me: “Yeah, she did.”

Customer Service: “Okay. She’s new, but this is like the seventh time this has happened this week.”

This fact and the fact that she short-changed the woman in front of me the second time tells me this cashier is doing something suspicious. I thought about calling the store to talk to a manager but it seemed like the woman at customer service was going to handle it.

Not Meeting The Bar For Customer Service

Employees, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Missouri, Restaurant, Saint Louis, USA | Working | May 21, 2020


I deliver for an app-based food/item delivery service, and I get an order to pay for and pick up from a Mexican restaurant I have never been to before. I head in and they seem busy with a group that has shown up early so I figure that, like most places, the carryouts are handled at the bar, so I stand by the bar and wait.

For fifteen minutes, I wait, periodically meeting the eyes of several of the waitstaff as they pass and serve the people in the front, and some who go back to the back where I assume the large party is seated. At no point does anyone acknowledge me and no one seems to be working at the bar. After I realize how much time has passed, I head to the host stand and stand there for five minutes. Then, a woman walks up to me.

Hostess: “How many?”

Me: “No, um, where do I pay for and pick up a to-go order?”

Hostess: “Over at the bar.”

The hostess waved for me to follow. I stared off into space as if I were breaking the fourth wall in a sitcom.

Some Managers Are Just Sick

Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Current Events, Grocery Store, Health & Body, New York, USA | Working | May 21, 2020


It is in the middle of self-isolation, social distancing, and panic buying. My small local grocery store is still open and I head down to get some desperately needed supplies. Other stores have been limiting the numbers of customers inside at any time and have had shoppers waiting outside in lines, six feet apart.

Not so this store; it’s as busy as any given time. As worrying as this is, I am wearing a mask and gloves, and I really need these supplies, so I decide I will be okay.

I get to the checkout, and the poor woman working the register looks very pale, and I can see she is desperately trying to stifle her coughs.

Me: “You shouldn’t be working if you’re sick! H***, you shouldn’t even be outside!”

Cashier: “I tried, but my boss said I had to come in.”

Me: “What?! Call your manager!”

She does so and we wait. She has to call a second time before a grumpy-looking man storms up to the cashier.

Manager: “What?!”

I interject before the poor cashier gets any more bad treatment.

Me: “Your cashier is sick. She needs to go home and self-isolate right now.”

Manager: “I need her to work! Too many people have been lazy and called in! She has to work.”

Me: “She has to do nothing! She is sick, coughing, and handling other people’s food! What you’re doing is—”

Manager: *Interrupting me* “Buy or don’t buy. You’re holding up the line.”

Realizing the manager is a lost cause, I turn to the cashier.

Me: “Go home, now. Call this number for medical advice.”

Manager: *To the cashier* “Leave and you’re fired.”

Me: “Wow, seriously? That is it.”

I call the police. They arrive surprisingly quickly and I explain the situation. They step into the store, see the cashier, see the lack of social-distancing, and approach the manager.

Officer #1 : “Sir, why are there no social-distancing procedures in place? Everyone here should be at least six feet apart, with controlled entry. Also, your cashier is obviously sick; why is she not self-isolating at home?”

Manager: “Look, all these policies are ridiculous. Everyone is saying they’re sick, and I have a store to run!”

Officer #2 : “They’re probably sick because you don’t have these procedures in place! Also, they are not just policies; they’re also the law.”

Me: “He also said that he would fire the cashier if she went home.”

Both officers look shocked at this and they turn to the manager.

Officer #1 : “Is that true?”

The manager, for the first time, begins to realize how much s*** he might be in.

Manager: “I… uh… Look, you have to understand.”

Officer #2 : “That’s it; I don’t need to hear any more.”

[Officer #2 ] shouts out to the entire store authoritatively.

Officer #2 : “Ladies and gentlemen, please put down your shopping and leave the store immediately! This establishment is being closed due to health and safety violations!”

Manager: “What?! You can’t do that! I—”

Officer #1 : “And you, you’re coming to the station.”

The manager was led away to the car, cursing and screaming. All the customers did end up leaving but took all their unpaid shopping with them anyway. The sick cashier left immediately and another member of staff closed up the store, with the officers leaving him some documentation and explaining what he should do next.

The store is still closed. I have to go further to a larger store which, thankfully, is adhering to the state-wide health and safety mandates

Her Processing Power Is Limited

Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Retail, USA, Wisconsin | Working | May 21, 2020


I work in a big box store where you don’t need to be the best and the brightest to hold most of the jobs. Some of my coworkers have said a lot of… uninformed things around me and asked me a few questions that make me question their ability to think logically. A nineteen-year-old coworker approaches me as I walk in to sit down in the break room.

Coworker: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Yeah, sure!”

Coworker: “Is this water processed?”

She’s holding up a sealed bottle of watermelon-flavored water.

Me: “Yep.”

Coworker: *Looking at it* “Are you sure? I really like the taste of it but I can really only drink processed water.”

Me: “Yes, it’s very safe to say that. Any unnaturally-flavored water in a sealed plastic bottle has been processed.”

Coworker: “Okay!”

I was not the only one in the room but when I looked around no one even looked up from their phones in wonder like I would have. I’ve only been here for a month and, God help me, I hope I find a better job soon or I’ll go mad.

Been Unable To Think Outside The Box For Thirty Years

Crazy Requests, Department Store, Employees, USA | Working | May 21, 2020


It is thirty years ago or so that I buy some minor household appliance, take it home, unpackage it, and use it. A week or two later, it conks out. I’m pretty handy, but this thing is kaput, beyond anything I’d even attempt to fix! I take it back to the store. They refuse to exchange it because I haven’t brought it back in the box. I am incredulous.

Me: “Do you really expect me to hang onto the box in anticipation of it crapping out on me?”

Employee: “Yes.”

They are ready to end the discussion, but I persist.

Me: “If I had a box for it, would you accept the exchange?”

Employee: “Yes, of course.”

I grabbed a new unit off the shelf, took it out of the box, put the broken one into the box, handed it to them, and left!

Call Me By Your Name… Or Hers…

Crazy Requests, Montana, Office, USA | Working | May 21, 2020


I run the front desk at a busy staffing service. We happen to have two women in the office who have the same name. I answer the phone today and have this conversation:

Me: “Good morning, [Staffing Service]. How can I help you?”

Guy: “I need to speak to [Employee’s First Name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, we have two [Employee’s First Name]s. Which one are you looking for?”

Guy: “[Employee’s Full Name].”

Me: “She’s actually in a meeting right now. Is there something I can help you with?”

Guy: *Clearly annoyed* “I just spoke to a [Employee] and she fumbled with her phone and hung up!”

The other [Employee] had answered a call a few seconds before and no one had been on the other line.

Me: “That was the other [Employee]. The one you are looking for is in a meeting. What can I help you with?”

Guy: “Well, if it’s going to be that much of a problem, I’m just going to go!”

Me: “I’m trying to help you—”

The guy hung up. I took the number off the caller ID and warned [Employee] when she got out of a meeting not to offer the guy a job if he called back.

I Don’t Think I Like Your Tone(r)

Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Jerk, Office, Safety, UK | Working | May 20, 2020


I am about a month in at my new job. There is an unofficial rota amongst the staff that goes desk by desk to replace the printer toner and paper. My desk happens to be next, and the toner is running low.

Me: “[Manager], do we have gloves for changing out the printer, and can we get the window open in there?”

Manager: “Why on earth would you need gloves?”

Me: “Because I don’t want to get toner on my hands?”

Manager: “Aww, your poor delicate hands?”

Me: “The toner is hazardous, and it’s recommended you use gloves when working with it. The window also needs to be opened to ventilate the room. There are warnings on the box.”

Manager: “That seems a bit extreme for us.”

Me: “Well, if you want me to change the toner, that’s what you have to do.”

Manager: “You really go to extreme lengths to procrastinate. If you didn’t want to do it, you could have just said.”

Me: “I have no issue with doing it, as long as it doesn’t affect my health.”

Manager: “Well, we change the ink out every other week, and no one has taken ill from it.”

Me: “Then you’re very lucky.”

The manager tells me not to bother and he’ll get someone else to do it. Not fifteen minutes later, [Manager] comes out, hands black and holding an empty toner tube.

Manager: “See, [My Name], nothing to it!”

I’m not impressed and I grab a fresh box. Thankfully, they’re in another room.

Me: “‘Warning: contents may be carcinogenic. Prolonged exposure can result in liver and kidney damage. Ensure the area is well ventilated and that gloves are used while handling.’”

[Manager] scoffed at it and continued with his day, but one by one the people in the office inspected the box, reading the warning themselves. During lunch, I heard a couple of them talking about how their last checkups with the doctor indicated the early signs of liver disease, and one man saying he was asthmatic and was going to opt out of the rota.

A month later, there is a box of gloves that everyone dips into when the toner needs changed, and the window in there is now always open. The manager doesn’t say anything but still changes the toner like he always does

Filing This Idea Away For Later

Glasgow, Instant Karma, Pranks, Scotland, Telemarketing, UK | Working | May 20, 2020


My friend keeps getting calls from those accident telemarketers. One day, she takes a call when I am there.

Caller: “I can see you were in an accident that wasn’t your fault, [Friend].”

My friend bursts into tears.

Friend: “If you know about it, you’ll know that [Friend] died in that accident!”

The caller hung up. My friend didn’t get any more calls.

Should’ve Kept Her Resume On Ice

Employees, Extra Stupid, Fast Food, Florida, New Hires, Non-Dialogue, USA | Working | May 20, 2020


I’m in the drive-thru and order an unsweetened iced tea with my food. After receiving my order, I pull forward and out of the way so I can add some non-sugar sweetener to my tea. As I’m about to drive off, I take my first sip. BLECH!

Apparently, they gave me sweet tea. Together with the added sweetener, it is undrinkable, so I park the car and go inside. I go up to the counter and get the attention of one of the employees. I recognize her as being relatively new, because the last time I was there — maybe a week ago, possibly more — she had another employee shadowing her at the register teaching her what to do.

I explain to her what happened and ask for a replacement. She takes my cup and looks confused. I also tell her she can just pour out the contents and use the same cup. Still with the puzzled look on her face, she finds the manager. After she speaks with him for a moment, he takes the cup and dumps the whole thing in the trash, says something back to her, and she proceeds to get me a replacement.

First, she gets a new cup, and then she heads to the iced tea dispenser… and realizes she has no ice in this new cup. She begins to look around. Again, she has a confused look on her face. She actually has to ask another employee where to get ice.

How long do you need to be working at a fast food place before you should be expected to know where the lone ice dispenser behind the counter is located?

Been Unable To Think Outside The Box For Thirty Years

Crazy Requests, Department Store, Employees, USA | Working | May 21, 2020


It is thirty years ago or so that I buy some minor household appliance, take it home, unpackage it, and use it. A week or two later, it conks out. I’m pretty handy, but this thing is kaput, beyond anything I’d even attempt to fix! I take it back to the store. They refuse to exchange it because I haven’t brought it back in the box. I am incredulous.

Me: “Do you really expect me to hang onto the box in anticipation of it crapping out on me?”

Employee: “Yes.”

They are ready to end the discussion, but I persist.

Me: “If I had a box for it, would you accept the exchange?”

Employee: “Yes, of course.”

I grabbed a new unit off the shelf, took it out of the box, put the broken one into the box, handed it to them, and left!

Call Me By Your Name… Or Hers…

Crazy Requests, Montana, Office, USA | Working | May 21, 2020


I run the front desk at a busy staffing service. We happen to have two women in the office who have the same name. I answer the phone today and have this conversation:

Me: “Good morning, [Staffing Service]. How can I help you?”

Guy: “I need to speak to [Employee’s First Name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, we have two [Employee’s First Name]s. Which one are you looking for?”

Guy: “[Employee’s Full Name].”

Me: “She’s actually in a meeting right now. Is there something I can help you with?”

Guy: *Clearly annoyed* “I just spoke to a [Employee] and she fumbled with her phone and hung up!”

The other [Employee] had answered a call a few seconds before and no one had been on the other line.

Me: “That was the other [Employee]. The one you are looking for is in a meeting. What can I help you with?”

Guy: “Well, if it’s going to be that much of a problem, I’m just going to go!”

Me: “I’m trying to help you—”

The guy hung up. I took the number off the caller ID and warned [Employee] when she got out of a meeting not to offer the guy a job if he called back.

I Don’t Think I Like Your Tone(r)

Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Jerk, Office, Safety, UK | Working | May 20, 2020


I am about a month in at my new job. There is an unofficial rota amongst the staff that goes desk by desk to replace the printer toner and paper. My desk happens to be next, and the toner is running low.

Me: “[Manager], do we have gloves for changing out the printer, and can we get the window open in there?”

Manager: “Why on earth would you need gloves?”

Me: “Because I don’t want to get toner on my hands?”

Manager: “Aww, your poor delicate hands?”

Me: “The toner is hazardous, and it’s recommended you use gloves when working with it. The window also needs to be opened to ventilate the room. There are warnings on the box.”

Manager: “That seems a bit extreme for us.”

Me: “Well, if you want me to change the toner, that’s what you have to do.”

Manager: “You really go to extreme lengths to procrastinate. If you didn’t want to do it, you could have just said.”

Me: “I have no issue with doing it, as long as it doesn’t affect my health.”

Manager: “Well, we change the ink out every other week, and no one has taken ill from it.”

Me: “Then you’re very lucky.”

The manager tells me not to bother and he’ll get someone else to do it. Not fifteen minutes later, [Manager] comes out, hands black and holding an empty toner tube.

Manager: “See, [My Name], nothing to it!”

I’m not impressed and I grab a fresh box. Thankfully, they’re in another room.

Me: “‘Warning: contents may be carcinogenic. Prolonged exposure can result in liver and kidney damage. Ensure the area is well ventilated and that gloves are used while handling.’”

[Manager] scoffed at it and continued with his day, but one by one the people in the office inspected the box, reading the warning themselves. During lunch, I heard a couple of them talking about how their last checkups with the doctor indicated the early signs of liver disease, and one man saying he was asthmatic and was going to opt out of the rota.

A month later, there is a box of gloves that everyone dips into when the toner needs changed, and the window in there is now always open. The manager doesn’t say anything but still changes the toner like he always does.

Filing This Idea Away For Later

Glasgow, Instant Karma, Pranks, Scotland, Telemarketing, UK | Working | May 20, 2020


My friend keeps getting calls from those accident telemarketers. One day, she takes a call when I am there.

Caller: “I can see you were in an accident that wasn’t your fault, [Friend].”

My friend bursts into tears.

Friend: “If you know about it, you’ll know that [Friend] died in that accident!”

The caller hung up. My friend didn’t get any more calls.

Should’ve Kept Her Resume On Ice

Employees, Extra Stupid, Fast Food, Florida, New Hires, Non-Dialogue, USA | Working | May 20, 2020


I’m in the drive-thru and order an unsweetened iced tea with my food. After receiving my order, I pull forward and out of the way so I can add some non-sugar sweetener to my tea. As I’m about to drive off, I take my first sip. BLECH!

Apparently, they gave me sweet tea. Together with the added sweetener, it is undrinkable, so I park the car and go inside. I go up to the counter and get the attention of one of the employees. I recognize her as being relatively new, because the last time I was there — maybe a week ago, possibly more — she had another employee shadowing her at the register teaching her what to do.

I explain to her what happened and ask for a replacement. She takes my cup and looks confused. I also tell her she can just pour out the contents and use the same cup. Still with the puzzled look on her face, she finds the manager. After she speaks with him for a moment, he takes the cup and dumps the whole thing in the trash, says something back to her, and she proceeds to get me a replacement.

First, she gets a new cup, and then she heads to the iced tea dispenser… and realizes she has no ice in this new cup. She begins to look around. Again, she has a confused look on her face. She actually has to ask another employee where to get ice.

How long do you need to be working at a fast food place before you should be expected to know where the lone ice dispenser behind the counter is located?

Right. Off You Go.

Airport, Employees, England, UK | Working | May 20, 2020


I’m an American on my first trip abroad. I am standing in line at customs and am developing my first gout attack. The line inches forward slowly and I can see people at the booths at the front of the line being detained almost endlessly. I finally get to the front and talk to an agent, who speaks in a thick Cockney accent.

Agent: “Purpose of your visit?”

Me: “I’m visiting friends and hope to do a little sightseeing.”

Agent: “How long will you be staying?”

Me: “Four days.”

The agent hands me back my passport.

Agent: “Cheers, mate.”

For a moment, I felt like I had just encountered the bridge-keeper from “Monty Python And The Holy Grail.” I muttered a “thanks” and scurried off. Maybe it was the person after me who got tossed into the Gorge of Eternal Peril

Welcome To The Dishonesty Zone

Bosses & Owners, Liars/Scammers, Library, Ohio, Public Restroom, USA | Working | May 20, 2020


I work in a city with zoning laws that state that once a building is over a certain size, it must have separate bathrooms for males and females before it can have a gender-neutral family bathroom. My boss is very much in favor of allowing anyone to use any bathroom of their choice for any reason, but the law is still the law in this area.

Boss: “The building inspector is coming by today. Hide some of the chairs in the storage shed out back. If we can make this room look smaller, we can take down the men’s and women’s signs by the bathroom.”

I am filling in at this branch for the day, but usually, I work on the other side of town.

Me: “Isn’t that dishonest?”

Boss: “No. Do what I say.”

Coworker: “You know, the people in this community don’t like sharing bathrooms. The women always complain about men peeing on the seats.”

Boss: “Do what I say! And [My Name], when the building inspector is done, he’s going to [My Branch] next. When you get there tomorrow after he’s left, take down the men’s and women’s signs there, too.”

Me: “But what about the zoni—?”

Boss: “Do what I say!”

She left, and neither of us bothered to hide chairs.

Good Idea Not Indulging This Owner

Bosses & Owners, Jerk, Pet Boarding/Pet Hotel, Pets & Animals, UK | Working | May 19, 2020


Our cat tends to only eat a small amount of food each day — usually a portion of dry food in the morning and wet food or fish at night. She also has a sensitive stomach so she tends to be unable to eat foods in jelly as they make her sick.

My family is going away and we need to find a cattery to book her into for a few days. I call a cattery and all is normal until:

Me: “I just wanted to check on what wet food you give the cats?”

Owner: “We use [Brand] jelly food.”

Me: “Oh, would you be able to make an exception on the jelly? It tends to make my cat sick.”

Owner: “No. Jelly is cheaper.”

I think to myself, “No, it’s not.”

Me: “I’m happy to provide the sachets myself if that’s required.”

Owner: *Louder* “NO! Jelly is cheaper. You’re indulging your cat.”

Me: “If giving her food that doesn’t make her sick is ‘indulging’ her, I’ll continue to do so. Thank you for your time.”

Owner: “You’ll be sorry for indulging her!” *Click*

I found a cattery who was happy to take on her dietary needs, and when I came back from the trip, my cat was very happy. The owner of the other cattery turned out to have only just started and was trying to establish rules and cut costs.

Drunk, Malevolent, Or Vapid?

DMV, Employees, Extra Stupid, Lazy/Unhelpful, New Hampshire, USA | Working | May 19, 2020


I recently moved to New Hampshire so I go to the DMV to apply for a new driver’s license. After filling out all the proper paperwork, making sure I have proof of residency and blood type and mother’s dog’s maiden name, and waiting in line for the typical ninety minutes, I finally get to the counter.

The woman behind the desk looks through all my papers, and everything seems to be in order, until:

Clerk: “Okay, can you just review all the info on that screen and confirm that everything is correct?”

I look at the first line.

Me: “Uh… actually, there’s a problem. My address isn’t correct.”

The clerk seems slightly offended that I’m accusing her of entering in my info wrong.

Clerk: “What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “The street number is supposed to be 25. It says 75 here.”

The clerk looks at the forms I filled out.

Clerk: “Oh. That looks like a 7 to me.”

She says this despite the fact that the other documents I had given her, including a lease agreement and an electric bill, all confirmed it should be 25.

Clerk: “Okay, so, everything else is correct?”

I look at the second line.

Me: “Uh… nope. My birthday is [date], and this says [different date].”

Clerk: “Seriously?”

The clerk sighs and then goes to correct all of the info on the computer.

Clerk: “Oh, I guess I need manager authorization to change the birth date. Hold on one second.”

A manager comes over and authorizes the birth date change and gets my temporary license printed.

Manager: “Okay, you’re all set! We just need to take your old [Other State] license away. You can’t have both at the same time.”

I have never heard of this before, but it seems to make sense, so I comply.

Manager: “Your new license will arrive within sixty days. Have a nice day!”

About a week later, I go to a local specialty store and attempt to buy alcohol. As I have not yet received my permanent license, I hand the cashier my temp license.

Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry, but we can’t accept temp IDs here. Can I just see your old license to confirm your age?”

Me: “Oh, I don’t have it anymore. The DMV took it away when I applied for my new one.”

Cashier: “What? That’s odd; they usually just punch a hole in it so it’s not valid on its own, but so you can still use it to confirm everything on your temp one. I’ve never heard of them taking it away!”

Me: “Yeah. Me, neither.”

I don’t get any wine that day.

After that, about a month and half goes by and I still have not received my new license. I am getting very concerned as it has never taken me this long to receive a new ID in the past, and my temp one is almost set to expire. I am worried it got sent to the wrong address, so I even try going to number 75 on my street to see if they received it by mistake, but they are never home when I go.

Finally, I give in and call the DMV.

Me: “Hi. I still haven’t received my new driver’s license, and my temporary one is going to expire in about a week and a half. I’m worried it might have been sent to the wrong address, because my address was entered incorrectly the first time.”

Support #1 : “Okay, can I have your name and address?”

I give them to her.

Support #1 : “All right, I see your application right here, and it looks like all your info is correct but the license just hasn’t been printed or sent yet. If it doesn’t come by [date next week], call us again and we will expedite it to you.”

Sure enough, a week goes by and still no license. I call the DMV again.

Me: “Hi. I called last week to say that my license hadn’t come in yet and was told to call back today if that was still the case and you would expedite it to me.”

Support #2 : “Okay, can I have your name, please?”

I give it to her.

Support #2 : “Okay… Huh, I can’t seem to find you. Is it [Different First Name]?”

Me: “Nope, [My Name].”

Support #2 : “Okay, let’s try your social.”

I give her that.

Support #2 : “Nope… Birth date?”

I give her that.

Support #2 : “Huh. All right, what is the number on your temp license?”

I give her that.

Support #2 : “Wait, your license number is [number] but your birth date is [date]? That doesn’t make sense. The number is based on your last name and birth date.”

Me: “Well, the woman who took my info at the DMV office entered my birthday incorrectly the first time…”

Support #2 : “Ohh… Okay, I think I know what happened, then. Let me just look into this further.”

She puts me on hold for about fifteen minutes.

Support #2 : “I just confirmed with my supervisor. There cannot be a license account with more than one birthdate. If the date is changed, our system completely erases the old application. The clerk should have reentered all of your info in a new application and retaken your picture. She basically deleted your application when she made the change.

“Here’s what I can do for you: if you can get back to the DMV this afternoon, I will tell them to let you go straight to the front of the line. Make sure you bring in all the paperwork you had last time, and we will expedite a new license to you within two business days. I am sorry for all of the inconvenience this has caused!”

This last support person was very helpful and, true to her word, I was let up to the front of the line when I got to the DMV office. However, I don’t know what bothers me more: the fact that the original clerk AND her manager made so many fumbles with handling my application and didn’t know that the mistake would completely erase all my info, or the fact that it seems the first phone support person blatantly LIED to me saying she saw that my application was in process.

Bonus: my new license finally arrived, no less than a month later.

One Greasy Mistake After Another

British Columbia, Canada, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Fast Food | Working | May 19, 2020


I work at a popular international burger restaurant. I am working nights, and there are only two of us for the shift: me on the till and another guy on the grill. One of the guys I work with is great, always on the ball. The other guy… not so much.

One of our duties as night shift is to filter and refill the fryer oil. This involves flipping a few switches to make the oil drain into the filter area, waiting for it to go through the filter area, flipping more switches for it to be sent back into the fryer, and topping it up with fresh oil. There are five different fryers that have to be done separately.

I have done it many times and know the process quite well, but tonight it is my coworker’s responsibility. I am walking around cleaning while he works on the fryers. He drains one, and a while later I see him flip the switch to drain the next one… but the first one is still empty.

Me: “WAIT! NO!”

I flip the switch back up.

Coworker: “It’s fine, it’s fine. I know what I’m doing!”

He flipped the switch back down. Seconds later, the filter area overflowed and flooded half the kitchen with oil, which we spent the entire rest of the shift cleaning up.

A few weeks later, we had run out of the wrapper for [Burger #1 ] — two patties and one piece of cheese — so we were using the wrapper for [Burger #2 ] — two patties and two pieces of cheese. I looked over, and since he was using the wrapper for [Burger #2 ], I think he went autopilot and put two pieces of cheese on it.

I thought about correcting him but realized that I would most likely have to correct him for every single one he made. I decided this was one battle I did not want to pick, and everyone who ordered [Burger #1 ] that night got a free bonus piece of cheese.