Perhaps There’s Insufficient Blood To Your Brain

Pharmacy | Windsor, Ontario, Canada | Right | February 24, 2012


(We have a free self-use blood pressure machine in our pharmacy.)

Customer: “When are you going to fix your blood pressure machine?”

Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your blood pressure machine is broken. Every time I come in here, it doesn’t work! You should really take care of it. Lots of old people need to check their blood pressure, you know!”

Me: “Are you sure? I just filled the paper roll the other day. It was working fine.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I’ve been trying to use it for days. It’s not working. You should really take care of it!”

(I take a look at the machine and try to troubleshoot the problem. I sit in the seat, roll up my sleeve, put it in the cuff, and push the big green “Start” button. The cuff inflates normally.)

Customer: “You mean you’re suppose to push that button?!”

Weekend Roundup: Don’t Mess With Employees

Fast Food, Gun Store, Pharmacy, Tech Support | Not Always Right Archives | Right | February 19, 2012


Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

Don’t Mess With Employees! This week, we feature five stories that teach misbehaving customers the consequences of messing with employees.
1.In Real Hot Sauce Now:
A young teenage employee decides her dignity is worth more than £3.71 and dealing with a cowardly manager.

2.A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’:
A customer tries to rough up an employee, but ends up getting roughed up by the manager instead.

3.Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists:
Teenage robber, meet Doug. Doug is our new pharmacy tech. Doug is also built like a fridge.

4.Who’s Got The Power Now:
Tech support is happy to support your technology. Supporting your potty mouth, not so much.

5.Your Prank Got Spanked:
A prank caller picks the wrong, well-armed store to call.

A Dose By Any Other Name

Pharmacy | Belize | Right | February 3, 2012


Customer: “Hey, I want some Tylenol.”

Me: “For children or for adults?”

Customer: “For adults.”

Me: “At the moment, we only have the generic kind available. You know, paracetamol, also known as acetaminophen?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want any acetaminophen! Give me the other one!”

Me: “Ma’am, they are the same thing, just different names for the same ingredient.”

Customer: “Well, I just want the first one you named. Just don’t give me the other one.”

Harvested From The Great Nyquil Tree

Pharmacy | Ontario, Canada | Right | January 25, 2012


Patient: “Hi, my 6-month-old grandson has some congestion in his nose and a fever. I gave him some NyQuil yesterday and that seemed to help. Is there anything you would recommend?”

Me: “For the congestion, you can use these saline drops, they’re–”

Patient: “No! I don’t wanna use that medicated stuff.”

Me: “All right. Well, for the fever you can try this Tylenol. Do you know the wei–”

Patient: “No! I don’t want to use that! It has acetaminophen in it! That’s not safe for babies.”

Me: “Actually, acetaminophen is quite safe for infants.”

Patient: “You’re a pharmacist. You would say that!”

Me: “Well, the only other option is the Advil.”

Patient: “That has acetaminophen too!”

Me: “No, that has ibuprofen. Which is also saf–”

Patient: “No, it isn’t!”

Me: “Are you aware that NyQuil has acetaminophen in it?”

Patient: “You lie! NyQuil has NyQuil in it! Isn’t there anything more natural I can give?!”

Me: “No.”

Patient: “You’re useless!” *storms off*

It’s The Small Victories

Pharmacy | Montreal, Canada | Right | January 21, 2012


(I’ve been working for a quite a while, so my voice is scratchy. Near the end of my shift, an old man comes to the counter.)

Customer: “Hm. You’re losing your voice there, eh?”

Me: “Haha. A little bit, I suppose.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the end of the world for a woman.”

Me: “Ha ha…” *confused as to where he’s going with this*

Customer: “HAHAHA, YOU CAN’T YELL AT ME!” *does a victory dance*

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5

Pharmacy | Maryland, USA | Right | January 2, 2012


Customer: “Do you have any fecal heart monitors?”

Me: “Uh…what?”

Customer: “You know, to hear the baby while it’s still in the womb?”

Me: “That would be a fetal heart monitor. Right this way…”

Photo-synthesise A Cure

Pharmacy | Sun Prairie, WI, USA | Related | December 17, 2011


(A mother has her sick three-year-old with her. She needs help finding medicine.)

Me: “What symptoms are you trying to treat?”

Mother: “Well, her nose…and, um, her eyes, uh…Hang on.”

(The customer digs in her purse and pulls out a photo.)

Mother: “Here’s a picture of what my daughter normally looks like, and look at her now. She’s really sick. What do you recommend?”

A Real Pain In The Rear

Pharmacy | Germany | Right | December 14, 2011


(An elderly gentleman approaches me at the counter.)

Me: “How may I help you, sir?”

Customer: “My butt hurts! I need medicine!”

Me: “All right, do you have a prescription? Or, can you tell me what exactly is wrong so that I can recommend you something that doesn’t need one?”

Customer: “I don’t know what’s wrong. But my butt hurts!”

Me: “Please go see a doctor then, sir. Without knowing what causes your pain, there’s little I can do.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to wait at the doctor’s together with all the sick people! I’ll catch a disease or something!”

Me: “That’s understandable. Maybe you could go early in the morning when fewer people are there?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want to! I want you to tell me what’s wrong! Look at my butt!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we don’t do that–”

(The man doesn’t listen. In front of me and three other customers, he drops his pants and underwear, turns around and sticks out his butt in my direction.)

Me: “Sir, please pull up your pants again! I can’t tell what’s wrong and you will have to leave if you don’t stop that!”

Customer: “Nonsense! If you can’t tell what’s wrong from over there, come closer and get a better look!”

(My boss then comes to look at what’s going on and ends up kicking the guy out.)

Customer: *on the way out the door* “Why will no one look at my butt?!”

A Warm And Full(filling) Night In

Pharmacy | Boston, MA, USA | Right | December 9, 2011


(A man in his mid-30’s approaches the register. I notice that he looks a little grumpy about something.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Hi.”

(It is at this point that I notice that he only has two items to ring up: a 20oz bottle of soda and an enema.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m holding an enema, what do you think?!”

Me: *speechless*

(I ring him up silently. Poor guy, I hope he feels better!)

D Is For Definitely Shiny

Pharmacy | Wyckoff, NJ, USA | Right | November 16, 2011


(A customer walks to my register with a Halloween decoration in tow. It’s a cheap cardboard statue of a cartoon-looking black cat covered in a shiny plastic material.)

Customer: “So, why is this 3D?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I peer at the tag. It says “3D Cat”.)

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s 3D.”

Customer: “No, I mean why is it ‘D’? Is it because it’s shiny?”

(A multitude of thoughts are racing through my head at this point. I debate the prospect of explaining to her what 3D actually means. In the end, I decide it’s easier to just agree with her.)

Me: “Exactly! It’s really sparkly and that’s why it’s called a 3D cat. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: “Oh, definitely!”

What’s Your Poison

Pharmacy | New Zealand | Right | November 15, 2011


(I’m a pharmacist in a rural area. A shop assistant calls me out from the dispensary to talk to a customer, who is a slightly intoxicated middle aged woman.)

Customer: “This medicine made my partner sick! Violently sick!”

Me: “Let me see. Has he had any alcohol?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Are you sure? Not even a little?”

Customer: “He doesn’t drink. Maybe only a little, but he wasn’t drunk.”

Me: “It clearly says on the label that you must not drink any alcohol while being treated with this medicine.”

Customer: “But he didn’t drink much at all. A beer shouldn’t matter, should it?”

Me: “It contains enough alcohol to–”

Customer: “But, like, you can even drive if you only drink a beer!”

Me: “That has nothing to do with–”

Customer: “I think he’d better not take this medicine. It made him violently sick!”

Me: “I think he should–”

Customer: “Thanks, I’ll tell him what you said. This medicine is a poison!” *turns around and walks out*

Have You Tried Dihydrogen Monoxide, Part 3

Pharmacy | Lansing, MI, USA | Right | November 9, 2011


(I am standing in line at the pharmacy counter and a man rudely cuts in front of me, stating that he has been waiting in line, just in another part of the store. He assures me he’ll be quick, but I don’t buy his excuse. The following exchange occurs between him and the pharmacist.)

Customer: “I need to speak to a pharmacist immediately.”

Pharmacist: “Do you have a question about your medication?”

Customer: “Yes, it says on the bottle to take with water. I don’t drink water. Water makes you fat.”

Pharmacist: “Um, water is essential for your body, especially with those pills.”

Customer: “What about water retention? Will I just pee it out, then?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, your body will eventually eliminate it. You should drink water, though. Your body needs plenty of water to work well, and you really don’t want to be dehydrated while on this drug.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it. Oh, and one more question. What about alcohol? Can I still have my alcohol?”

Take Two Werewolves And Call Me In The Morning

Pharmacy | New Zealand | Right | November 8, 2011


(I have just given a customer his prescription and am explaining to him the directions.)

Me: “So, just take two of these with water at night.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks. Wait, I work at night…should I take these in the day time?”

Me: “Yes, just take them before bed.”

Customer: “Okay, so they aren’t activated by the moon or anything?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: *slight disbelief

I’ll Take An Album Cover For 7000

Pharmacy | California, USA | Right | November 4, 2011


(I work in the OTC section of a well-known pharmacy chain. I’m stocking the shelves in an aisle when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’ve looked all over here. Where are your hemorrhoid wipes?”

Me: “Oh, those are actually down on Aisle 20.”

Customer: “Really? Why are they over there and not in this aisle with the rest of the anal care?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Anal care!” *points at the aisle’s sign*

(The sign she was pointing at? “Analgesics”.)

Like There’s No Tomorrow

Pharmacy | Goffstown, NH, USA | Right | October 24, 2011


(A customer has called to ask if we carry an over the counter soap in our store.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am? I just checked and we do carry [brand] soap. However, we are all out of stock right now, but we could order some for you and it would come in tomorrow.”

Customer: “You don’t carry [brand]?”

Me: “We do carry it. We just don’t have it in right now.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Because other customers have purchased it. But we can order some for tomorrow.”

Customer: “Well, how long will that take?”

Me: “It’ll come in tomorrow.”

Customer: “So, how many days will that be?”

They’re Right Next To The Abacus Tablets

Pharmacy | North Carolina, USA | Right | October 10, 2011


(I’m working behind the counter one morning when an older customer and her son approach.)

Customer: “I’ve been really itchy lately. I need something for the itch. My son used algebra tablets last time.”

Me: “Well you could use an allergy tablet, but you can’t if you have high blood pressure.”

Customer: “I have high blood pressure but this itching is terrible. Can you show me the algebra tablets?”

Me: “I can’t recommend the allergy tablets, then. It could interact with your medicine.”

Customer: “I know, but my son had algebra tablets last time and they helped with the itching.”

Me: “Yes, the allergy tablets would interact though. So I can’t recommend those.”

Customer: “Which of these algebra tablets would you recommend?”

Me: *gives up* “The pink box.”

One’s Green And The Other Makes You Green

Pharmacy | New Jersey, USA | Right | October 10, 2011


Customer: “Hi, I’m calling to see if you have cholera pills in stock.”

Me: “I beg your pardon? Cholera is a contagious disease.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I’m looking for cholera pills!”

Me: “Um, do you mean the natural supplement Chlorella?”

Customer: “That’s what I said! Cholera! It’s spelled C-H-L-O-R-E-L-L-A. Cholera. I am looking for a large bottle if you have it.”

Me: *gives up* “Yeah, sure. We happen to have a few bottles of cholera in stock.”

Customer: “I’ll be there in five minutes!”

Run Artificial Stupidity Program

Pharmacy | Illinois, USA | Right | September 27, 2011


(Our pharmacy phone system is down, so all pharmacy calls are going through the main line, which is answered by me. These calls include people trying to reach the automated prescription line.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [store], where we offer flu shots every day. This is [name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “You’re not a machine.”

Me: “No. If you were trying to reach the automated line, the phones are down. I can connect you to the pharmacist.”

Customer: “I want the automated system. People are dumb!”

Not So Modest Aspirations

Pharmacy | Europe | Right | August 25, 2011


(I’m speaking with a three year old girl as I serve her mother.)

Me: “Do you like the pharmacy? Do you think you will be a pharmacist when you grow up?”

Girl: “No! I will be a dancer!”

Me: “Oh, a dancer! That’s nice! Like in a dance group?”

Girl: “No! On the pole!”

Cost-Benefit Analysis

Auto Parts, Pharmacy | Dalton, GA, USA | Right | August 25, 2011


(A customer comes in to pick up his Viagra prescription. I’m trying not to be awkward and ring him up as if it’s any other order.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “My name is [name]. I need to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “That will be just a moment.”

(I get the man’s prescription and proceed to ring him up for it.)

Me: “Your total today comes out to [price].”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: *I repeat the price*

Customer: *mumbles* “Still cheaper than a hooker, I guess.” *pays and leaves*

Sleepless Sleep Aids

Pharmacy | South West England, UK | Right | August 24, 2011


(A woman comes to the counter.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I see you’ve got [sleep aid]. Does it come in a non-drowsy version?”

Two Halves Make A Hole In Your Brain

Pharmacy | Massachusetts, USA | Right | August 22, 2011


Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like you to check how much my prescriptions are. My name is [name].”

Me: “You have two prescriptions waiting for you. Each one is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, how much does each one cost?”

Me: “$2.50 each.”

Customer: “So, one is $2.50. How much is the other one?”

Me: “Each of your two prescriptions is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, if I give you $5, how much will my change be?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Customer: *hangs up*

Recipe For Disaster

Pharmacy | Vancouver, WA, USA | Right | July 14, 2011


(A customer comes up to the pharmacy counter. Keep in mind, Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) is controlled in all 50 states as it is used to make methamphetamine.)

Customer: “I need some Sudafed.”

Me: “Did you want Sudafed or [store brand]?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The active ingredient is the same but sometimes they change the inactive ingredients. It still works the same though. Plus, [store brand] is about 5 bucks cheaper.”

Customer: “The recipe said I need Sudafed.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *realizing what she said* “Um, s***. Never mind, I got to go.”

49 Secrets Your Pharmacist Isn’t Telling You

When you pick up your prescription, at a minimum, ask…

Female medicine doctor prescribing pills to her male patient. Healthcare, medical and pharmacy concept.

ldutko/Shutterstock

What is this drug? What does it do? Why am I taking it? What are possible side effects? and How should I take it? Not only does this help you to use the drug correctly, it’s also a good way to double-check that you’re getting the right drug. Half the prescriptions taken in the U.S. each year are used improperly, and 96 percent of patients nationwide don’t ask questions about how to use their medications. Make sure you know about these 10 super-important questions you must ask before taking prescription medications.

When you pick up your prescription, at a minimum, ask…





What is this drug? What does it do? Why am I taking it? What are possible side effects? and How should I take it? Not only does this help you to use the drug correctly, it’s also a good way to double-check that you’re getting the right drug. Half the prescriptions taken in the U.S. each year are used improperly, and 96 percent of patients nationwide don’t ask questions about how to use their medications. Make sure you know about these 10 super-important questions you must ask before taking prescription medications.

Your pharmacist has spent more time studying drugs than even your doctors

Go ahead and call me doctor; I’m just not that kind of doctor. Since mid-2004, pharmacy students must pursue a doctorate in pharmacy (Pharm.D) in order to be licensed. Pharmacists licensed before then must have at least a Bachelor of Pharmacy and pass a series of exams. This is why your pharmacist probably knows more about your health than your doctor.

All pharmacists are not created equal

A less-qualified pharmacy technician may have actually filled your prescription. Currently, there is no national standard for their training and responsibilities

People assume that if it’s over-the-counter, it’s safe



According to Daniel Zlott, a pharmacist at the National Institutes of Health, this may not always be the case for you. “I’ve seen serious complications” with over-the-counter meds, he says. Here are some over-the-counter medication mistakes you didn’t know you were making.

An over-the-counter version of your medication might do the trick

You may just need to take more pills and forgo insurance reimbursement. But always talk to your pharmacist, and do the math

We’ll save you money if we can



“A good part of a pharmacist’s time is spent dealing with patients and their incomes,” says pharmacist Cindy Coffey. Part of that is suggesting generic or OTC alternatives. Or if a doctor has prescribed a newer drug with no generic alternative available, says Zlott, “I might call the doctor to suggest an older drug that’s equally effective.” Make sure to ask these questions that could save you money on medication.

I’d think twice about using a drive-through pharmacy

Our drive-through window may be convenient, but most pharmacists don’t like them. An Ohio State study found that pharmacists believe the distractions associated with drive-through service contribute to delays, reduced efficiency and even dispensing errors. They also create the unrealistic expectation of fast-food-like service. So the next time you’re frustrated and stuck behind five cars, try to remember that getting the wrong prescription is much more dangerous than getting the wrong burger at McDonalds’s—and try to be patient.

The more I know you, the more I can help you


The better I know you as a patient—your health history, your family, and how busy your life is—the better I can tailor medications to fit your lifestyle,” says Zlott. “You may not want to take a drug three times a day, for example, and I’ll know that if I know you.”

Generics are a close match for most brand names


But I’d be careful with blood thinners and thyroid drugs, since small differences can have big effects

Don’t try to get anything past us

Prescriptions for painkillers or sleeping aids always get extra scrutiny. Here are some lies you should never tell your doctor.

When in doubt, ask

I can give you a generic refill that’s different from the one you started with. Online resources like cvs.com let you double-check your pill.

Use one pharmacy if you can

There’s not some big computer database that tracks your drugs and flags interactions for pharmacists everywhere. If you start using a new pharmacy, make sure we know what you’re taking

Here’s how to avoid lines


It gets busy Monday and Tuesday evenings, since many new prescriptions and refills come in after the weekend. Also, steer clear of pharmacies on the first few days of the month—that’s when Social Security checks arrive and recipients swamp the pharmacy. Generally, the best time to visit is in the middle of the week or during the workday (but stay away at lunch hour).

Look into the $4 generics

Chains like Target, Kroger, and Wal-Mart offer them. And it can’t hurt to ask your pharmacy if it will match the price.

Yelling at me won’t help

If I can’t reach your doctor and/or insurance company to approve a refill, there’s nothing I can do about it. “It’s frustrating,” says Zlott, “but I’d be breaking the law in some states if I gave it to you.”

Pharmacists are required by law in most states to counsel patients and answer their questions

If your pharmacist seems too busy to talk with you, take your business someplace else. Check out these other signs you need to fire your doctor.