You’re Boxing Me In Here
 

You’re Boxing Me In Here

Australia, Extra Stupid, Hobart, Patients, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Healthy | June 27, 2018


(At my pharmacy, we commonly take orders by phone so that a customer’s medications can be ready to collect when they arrive. This phone order, however, is a little different.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order some medications, please.”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Customer: “I can’t remember what they’re called, sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. We can figure it out. Do you remember what they’re for?”

Customer: “No, sorry. But they come in a box…”

Never Sausage An Unhealthy Thing Before

Australia, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Jerk, Pharmacy, Smithton, Tasmania | Friendly | September 4, 2018


One of my colleagues is a naturopath and health nut. She’s noticed that I have a certain fondness for hot chips/fries and often buy them for lunch, and she’s taken to telling me how unhealthy, fatty, salty, etc. they are, in a vain attempt to improve my diet.

One day, just for a change, I decide to buy a sausage roll for lunch. My colleague notices this and proceeds to lecture me on how much worse this is for me, because of how many carbs are in the pastry and how much fat is in the meat.

The next day I buy chips again. I show them to my colleague and tell her that I went with the healthier option.

The horrified and appalled look on her face was priceless, and was well worth the earful she gave me!

The Last Time The Medicine Was A Steal
 

The Last Time The Medicine Was A Steal

Georgia, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | September 2, 2018


(I work in a retail pharmacy. One day a patient brings in a prescription for a blood pressure monitor. My coworker is taking prescriptions.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t fill this. We sell them over the counter but we can’t bill them to insurance.” *tries to hand it back*

Patient: *upset* “Yes, you can fill them. I had one filled here a few years ago.”

Coworker: “We have never been able to fill blood pressure monitors; our company isn’t authorized to dispense medical equipment.”

Patient: *angry* “Then it must have been before you started here, but I had one filled at this store!”

Coworker: *getting frustrated* “I have worked at this store since it opened eleven years ago, and have been in the pharmacy for seven years, and we have never dispensed blood pressure monitors.”

Patient: “Yes, you have! The first time I brought a prescription in, the pharmacist showed me where they were, handed me one, and I walked out with it!”

Coworker: *shocked* “If you walked out with it, then you just walked out with it.”

Patient: “I am not a thief! I have never stolen anything in my life!” *stomps off*

(She called corporate on my coworker for “calling her a thief,” but we had already sent an email to our district manager detailing the incident, so nothing came of it.)

Getting Into The Spirit Of This Parenting Thing
 

Getting Into The Spirit Of This Parenting Thing

Children, England, Overheard, Pharmacy, UK, Upminster | Right | August 24, 2018


(I am at the pharmacy queuing at the checkout. A woman behind me is also queuing with what I presume are her grandchildren. They are screaming, asking for a DVD which said she no to. We go to separate checkouts at the same time, where I overhear this.)

Cashier: “Do you want bags with those?”

Women: “I want some alcohol. It’s the children’s school holiday.”

(It definitely made my being in a shop with screaming kids worth it.)

Time To Prescribe Some Patience
 

Time To Prescribe Some Patience

Jerk, Pharmacy, Strangers, USA | Friendly | August 19, 2018


(I have just left the doctor’s office and walked to the pharmacy to wait for a prescription to be sent over. The young girl at the register is on the phone, so I wait for her to acknowledge me.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.”

(A few minutes pass.)

Cashier: “Okay, picking up?”

Me: “Yes, it was just sent over from [Doctor]. Last name, [Last name]. Born [birthday].”

Cashier: “Hmm, doesn’t look like it’s here yet. You can have a seat and wait, if you’d like.”

Me: “I’ll do that. Thank you.”

(I take a seat and begin scrolling through Facebook while I wait. The phone rings again. A woman comes in and goes right to the register.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you, ma’am.”

Woman: “I just left [Doctor], and she sent a medicine order over for me.”

Cashier: *nods, covers phone receiver* “Just a moment.”

Woman: “It’s under [Woman].”

Cashier: *nods, holds up one finger* “As soon as I’m done on the phone, ma’am.”

Woman: “It should be ready.”

Cashier: *nods*

Woman: “Ugh.” *turns to me* “Can you believe this service?”

Me: “I can.”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Well, she’s clearly busy, and you were told many times that she would be with you after her phone call.”

Woman: “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

Me: “You asked.”

Woman: “The youth of today are so disrespectful! If you were my daughter, I’d have you over my knee for talking to me like that!”

Me: “Guess I’m lucky you’re irrelevant.”

Woman: “How dare you?!”

(I return to my Facebook browsing. The woman sits directly beside me, continuing her rant about disrespectful youth and poor customer service. The cashier hangs up and takes the woman’s information. Of course, it isn’t ready. She resumes her rant, pacing in front of the register.)

Cashier: “[My Name], your order is ready.”

Woman: “Where is mine?”

Cashier: “I’ll let you know as soon as yours is ready.”

Woman: “I’ve half a mind to take my business elsewhere!”

Me: “Don’t use it all in one place.”

Cashier: *trying to keep a straight face* “No copay, [My Name]. Have a good day.”

Some Sick Mannerisms
 

Some Sick Mannerisms

Australia, Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | August 14, 2018


(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory
 

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory

Crazy Requests, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | August 14, 2018


(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management
 

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA, Vermont | Working | August 13, 2018


I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.

I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.

I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”

The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.

Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.

So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store!

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen
 

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen

Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | August 9, 2018


(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a 20-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested, your [Prescription], isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)

Clearly They Need Drugs
 

Clearly They Need Drugs

Crazy Requests, New York, Pharmacy, Staten Island, USA | Right | August 2, 2018


(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)

Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”

Customer: “But I want it.”

Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”

Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”

(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes:)

Customer: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”

Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”

(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)

Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down
 

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down

Bad Behavior, Florida, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA |
Healthy | July 31, 2018

(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)

Guy: “My girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”

Guy: “[First Name].”

(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)

Me: “What’s her last name?”

Guy: “[Last Name].”

(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)

Me: “And what’s her address, please?”

(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)

Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”

(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)

Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”

Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”

Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”

Guy: “No!”

Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”

(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Guy: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”

Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”

Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”

Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”

Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”

Guy: “I don’t have mine.”

Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”

Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”

(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)

Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”

(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)

Me: “What’s your address?”

Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”

Me: *blink*

(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”

Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”

(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs
 

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs

Canada, Employees, Grocery Store, Jerk, Ontario, Pets & Animals, Pharmacy, Revolting | Working | July 31, 2018


(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)

Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”

(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)

Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”

Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “

(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish
 

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish

Extra Stupid, Lebanon, Math & Science, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 30, 2018


Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”

Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”

(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)

Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”

Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”

(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)

Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”

Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”

(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”

(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)

Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”

Customer: “I did!”

Me: “No… you didn’t.”

Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”

(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)

Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”

Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”

Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)

Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”

(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”

Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”

(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)

Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”

(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)

Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”

(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)

Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”

Me: “Um… Okay… And six dollars is your change!”

Customer: “Whew, never a dull moment, is there?”

Me: “Nope!”

Thirteen Bucks Can Buy A Lot Of Beans
 

Thirteen Bucks Can Buy A Lot Of Beans

Pharmacy | | Right | August 4, 2008


Customer: “I hear there’s this stuff you can put on your food that won’t give you gas.”

Me: “Oh, yeah… it’s called Beano. Put a couple of drops on your food and the enzymes in it prevent the food from giving you gas.”

Customer: “So, you have it?”

Me: “Yep. I’ll show you.”

(We walk over to the shelf where Beano is kept. I show him the little 3 or 4 oz. bottle; a little goes a long way with that stuff.)

Me: “This is it.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “$12.99.”

Customer: “For THAT little bottle? S***, I’ll just fart!”

Along The Way, You’ll Meet Some Hopped-Up Munchkins
 

Along The Way, You’ll Meet Some Hopped-Up Munchkins

Pharmacy | | Right | May 23, 2008


(I live in a town where 65% of the people are 65 years old and older. When we were redoing the design of the store, they placed a large white walkway from the front door to the pharmacy.)

Customer: “Hi, I would like to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is the front of the store. Your prescription is in the back of the store, in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “How do I get there?”

Me: “Follow the white brick road.”



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Teenage Boys And Smutty Mags? You Don’t Say!
 

Teenage Boys And Smutty Mags? You Don’t Say!

Pharmacy | | Right | May 19, 2008


Angry Old Woman: “Excuse me! I am very upset because you sold my young grandson pornography!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pornography.”

Angry Old Woman: “Get me the manager, now!”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Angry Old Woman: “Your pervert cashier sold my grandson pornography!”

Manager: “Are you sure about that? We don’t sell anything like that here.”

Angry Old Woman: “Do you think I’m stupid? I saw it with my own eyes! It had naked women and he told me he bought it here with no problem!”

Manager: “Could you show me on the shelf what it was?”

(She goes over to the magazines, and points at Maxim.)

Angry Old Woman: “It was this one! See? Right here! Where any child could see!”

Manager: “Ma’am, this magazine is not pornography. Granted, the women are scantily clad in a few pictures but they aren’t naked and there is no age restriction on its sale.”

Angry Old Woman: “I know pornography when I see it, and this is very offensive. How could you sell it to young children?”

Manager: “Well, actually our store policy dictates that we won’t sell this to a young child even though it is still legal. How old is your grandson?”

Angry Old Woman: “He’s only sixteen!”

Manager: *rolls eyes* “I don’t want to offend your moral beliefs, Ma’am, but if your sixteen year old grandson wants to look at women in bikinis there is no force on earth that is going to stop it. Seriously.”

Angry Old Woman: “The power of Jesus can stop it! The power of Christ should compel you to remove this magazine from your shelves!”

Manager: “Right… Real quick, ma’am, before I get back to work, can I ask you a question? Does your grandson have Internet access?”

Angry Old Woman: “What does that have to do with anything?”

Manager: “A lot, and I think that the power of Christ should compel you to learn how to look up his browser history. Have a good day.”

How About Some Ritalin While You’re At It
 

How About Some Ritalin While You’re At It

Pharmacy | | Right | May 7, 2008


(Our insurance transmitter was experiencing problems, so we were unable to transmit to any insurance companies when filling prescriptions. I explained this to one customer, who decided to sit and wait for a while to see if the transmitter would come back up. Meanwhile another customer came in with a prescription.)

New Customer: “Hi, I’d like this filled please.”

Me: *explains transmitter problem*

New Customer: “Oh that’s okay, I don’t have insurance.”

Me: “No problem, we’ll have it ready in just a few minutes.”

Original Customer: “Wait! I was ahead of her! Why isn’t mine ready!?”

Me: “We are still waiting for the insurance transmitter to come back up, sir.”

Original Customer: “Well how did you fill hers!”

New Customer: “I pay cash, I don’t have prescription coverage.”

Original Customer: “Well I pay cash too!”

Me: “You want to just get it at retail price, and not use insurance?”

Original Customer: “Yes! I have cash! I’ll pay for it, just fill it now!”

(5 minutes later…)

Me: “Okay sir, we’ve got you ready. The total comes to $35.99.”

Original Customer: “WHAT! My co-pay is only $3.00!”

Me: “Sir, you said you wanted to go ahead and pay cash price since the insurance transmitter is still down.”

Original Customer: “I do have cash! See?” *shows wallet with cash in it* “Why is it $35?! You people don’t know anything! I’m taking my business elsewhere!”

Me: *face palm*

Back In My Day, Pills Fell Like Mana From The Heavens
 

Back In My Day, Pills Fell Like Mana From The Heavens

Pharmacy | | Right | March 13, 2008


(I was cashiering the closing shift on a Sunday night. The pharmacy closes earlier than the rest of the store on weekends. A customer comes in at 9:30pm.)

Customer: “Oh sh*t! The pharmacy is closed?!”

Me: “Yes, they close at 6pm on weekends. They will open again at 8am tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “But I need a prescription filled.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the pharmacist will not be here until 8am tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “Can’t you do it?”

Me: “No…”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “I’m not a pharmacist.”

Customer: “Don’t be a smart a**!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Only a pharmacist can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “What is this world coming to?!” *storms out*

Insert Butt Crack Here
 

Insert Butt Crack Here

Pharmacy | | Right | October 31, 2008


Customer: “Hi, I’m having a problem with my suppositories. They’re not working at all!”

Me: “Okay, let me get the pharmacist for you so he can help you.”

(The customer decides to just yell the same question over two counters to the pharmacist in front of at least 10 other people.)

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, would you like to come over to our consultation are so we can talk about this privately?”

Customer: “No, I just want to know why my suppositories aren’t working!”

Pharmacist: “Well, okay. Are they melting before you insert them?”

Customer: “No, nothing like that!”

Pharmacist: “Are they breaking up into pieces before you use them?”

Customer: “No, no, nothing like that! They’re all in one piece and the same shape and all that stuff! I know how to follow the d*** directions!”

Pharmacist: “Are parts of the foil wrapper sticking to it at all?”

Customer: “What wrapper?!”

(Note: the suppository wrappers are aluminum foil with sharp edges. Ouch.)

After This, She’s Gonna Need An Antidepressant
 

After This, She’s Gonna Need An Antidepressant

Pharmacy | | Right | October 26, 2008


Customer: “Hi, can I have some of those allergy medications that are behind the counter? The 24 hour kind.”

Me: “Sure thing…”

(I grab one, because law mandates that the computers only allow me to check out one 24 hour medication for a certain period of time).

Customer: “Oh, I wanted four. Can I have four, please?”

Me: “Sorry, I can only give you one. There’s a law that makes me check your ID on the computer. It won’t let me check out more than one for you, at least not in the 24 hour dose.”

Customer: “Well, can you at least try? If you’d TRY once in a while, you never know what you can do!”

Me: “Alright then…”

(I scan one and sure enough, the second won’t go through.)

Me: “Yup, it won’t let me check out the second one. Your total’s gonna be about 20 bucks.”

Customer: “Okay, now try the third one.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “If the second one didn’t work, maybe the third one will.”

Me: “Ma’am, all four of these are exactly the same. If the second one didn’t work, what makes you think if I rang up another box of the exact same thing would work?”

Customer: “JUST DO IT!”

Me: “Okay… yeah… it’s not working.”

Customer: “Okay, now try the fourth one.”

(Suffice it to say it doesn’t work; after she buys her one box, she comes back about fifteen minutes later.)

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU SELL ME THIS EXPIRED MEDICATION!”

Me: “Err… what? I can guarantee you it’s not. I checked it before I gave it to you.”

Customer: “Oh yeah? Then what’s this? It says FEB 10!”

Me: “Yes… February… of 2010. Not February 10th.”

Customer: “Uh… well, I’m older than you and I probably make way more than you anyway, so I’m right. I’m 42 and I make $** an hour!”

Me: “I’ll agree with you, you’re much older than I am. I’m only 26. But ma’am, you are talking to a pharmacist. I make twice that. Oh wait… I’m in overtime now… three times that. Actually, in the time it took me to help you, I just made one hour’s worth of your wage. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”



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Even Managers Have A Stupid Quota
 

Even Managers Have A Stupid Quota

Pharmacy | | Right | October 8, 2008


(A young, angry-looking woman is standing at the pharmacy counter with a small pile of white sticks.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, these pregnancy tests are all faulty. I want a refund.”

Me: “Okay. So, what happened? Were they broken or missing pieces?”

Customer: “No, they keep saying positive. I’m not pregnant.”

Me: “Um… okay. So, if you’re not pregnant, then why get the tests?”

Customer: “Get your manager!”

Me: *gets manager*

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

(I wander off at this point, called into the vitamins section. When I come back, security is taking the woman out of the store.)

Me: “What the…?”

Manager: “Twit. She just wanted her money back. I hope she has twins that cause a LOT of pain and are ugly. REAL ugly… and poop a lot!”

Speak For Yourself
 

Speak For Yourself

Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | August 28, 2008


Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “My wife sent me in here to pick up some chestnut brown and I can’t find it.”

Me: “Okay, is that makeup or hair color?”

Customer: “I don’t know; she just said chestnut brown.”

Me: “Do you happen to remember the brand name?”

Customer: “No! She just said chestnut brown. Weren’t you listening?”

Me: “Well, it sounds like hair dye to me. Let’s have a look.”

(We both go to the hair coloring aisle and I start to look through every shade in every brand. The man does not help at all; it takes me ten minutes.)

Me: “Here you go, sir. This is Garnier hair color, chestnut brown.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s it? I don’t want to go home and have to come back.”

Me: “You could call your wife and ask her.”

Customer: “She’s not at home. Oh, wait, hold on.”

(He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and begins to read it.)

Customer: “Yep, Garnier chestnut brown. That’s it!”

Me: “Sir, no offense, but you could have saved us a lot of time by reading that note in the first place.”

Customer: “That’s the problem with this country. Nobody wants to work anymore!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s our problem.”

He Shoots, He Misses
 

He Shoots, He Misses

Pharmacy | | Right | August 13, 2008


(I used to work at a drug store. From time to time, the pharmacy portion of the store wouldn’t open because there wasn’t a pharmacist to do so. A customer reads the closed sign…)

Customer: “What’s the meaning of this?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The pharmacy is closed today because we don’t have a pharmacist.”

Customer: “People are SICK! They need their MEDICATION!”

Me: “I wish there was something I could do, sir, but–”

Customer: “You know what this is? Do you?! Two words! TWO WORDS! UN-ACCEPTABLE!”

Bilingual Secret Shame
 

All

Popular

Right

Working

Romantic

Related

Learning

Friendly

Hopeless

Healthy

Legal

Unfiltered









Bilingual Secret Shame

Pharmacy | | Right | April 20, 2009


Customer: “Excuse me, what are diaper couches?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Diaper couches.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what you mean.”

Customer: *points to the boxes of diapers* “That box! It says ‘diaper couches’.”

Me: *suddenly understanding* “Ma’am, that box says diapers, and then it says ‘couches’. That’s the French word for diapers.”

Customer: *looks around, then whispers* “Don’t tell anyone!” *leaves*

Rip Van Winkle To The Extreme
 

Rip Van Winkle To The Extreme

Pharmacy | | Right | April 2, 2009


Customer: “Hi, I have a rather simple question to ask you.”

Me: “Sure thing. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to make someone sleep for a really long time, what would I use?”

Me: “Um, just how long are you talking?”

Customer: “Well, I was thinking somewhere around forever.”

Me: “…”

MacGyver Becomes a Dad
 

MacGyver Becomes a Dad

Pharmacy | | Right | March 26, 2009


(A man was picking up a prescription for his infant child.)

Customer: “How much did you say the prescription was?”

Me: “$49.99.”

Customer: “What’s the difference between this and what I can get over the counter?”

Me: “There’s no cough medicine you can give your 8 month old, sir, other than this.”

Customer: “Well, what’s in it?”

(He picks up the prescription papers and starts rustling through them.)

Customer: “If I can buy everything that’s in it over the counter, I’ll just make it myself.”

Me: “…excuse me?”

Perhaps Multiple Choice Might Be Easier
 

Perhaps Multiple Choice Might Be Easier

Pharmacy | | Right | February 20, 2009


Customer: “I’m after some cold and flu medication.”

Me: “Sure, do you take any other medication?”

Customer: “Um… no… I don’t thi-… wait, yes, but it’s… actually no, no, I don’t.”

Me: “Okay then, and are you allergic to anything?”

Customer: “God, this is too hard!” *storms out*

Surely, One Missed Anatomy Class Can’t Hurt…
 

Surely, One Missed Anatomy Class Can’t Hurt…

Pharmacy | | Right | February 19, 2009


(A woman walks in with her daughter one afternoon.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “There’s something wrong with my daughter.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “Her eyes keep closing on their own!”

Me: “…ma’am, that’s called blinking.”

TMI Mom Tries To Help
 

TMI Mom Tries To Help

Pharmacy | | Right | July 6, 2009


(A forty-something year old woman comes to the counter with her purchases. Amongst them is a box of condoms, which have security stickers on them. Before I scan the item, I swipe it a few times over the scanner to deactivate it.)

Customer: “Is it not scanning?”

Me: “No, I’m just deactivating the security sticker. I don’t want you to set off the alarm on the way out. Especially over condoms!”

Customer: “Oh I’m not embarrassed! They’re not for me, they’re for my son. I can’t even get an erection!”

Script Stupidity
 

Script Stupidity

Pharmacy | | Right | May 28, 2009


Customer: *holds up two bottles* “What’s the difference between these two medicines?”

Me: “The one on the left is a capsule; the one on the right is a tablet.”

Customer: “I mean, which one would be better?”

Me: “They’re exactly the same medicine, just in different forms. Most people buy whichever one is easier for them to swallow.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid! How can you swallow a bottle?”



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Where There’s A Pill, There’s A Way
 

Where There’s A Pill, There’s A Way

Pharmacy | | Right | May 21, 2009


(A customer comes in with a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. He says that he was at the hospital with his wife and the hospital stole his pills, which is why he needs to get this prescription filled, even though his last prescription was just filled a few days ago.)

Me: “OK, sir, I talked to your doctor and he says I can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “Great, can I wait? I have no pills left and I really need it.”

Me: “It’ll be about 10 minutes.”

(10 minutes later.)

Me: “OK sir, your prescription is ready.”

Customer: “Hey, are those pills the same as this?” *holds up pill*

Me: “I thought you didn’t have any pills left, sir.”

Customer: “Well…I bought this off the street, to be honest with you.”

Me: “Oh…good.”

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days
 

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days

Pharmacy | | Right | April 23, 2009


(An elderly man calls up to the store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”

Me: “OK, well, what can you tell me about the product?”

Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’ – can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: Well, sir…that’s a feminine hygiene product.”

Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Sir…it’s for women on their period.”

Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”

Me: “I don’t know sir, maybe you should ask her that.”

Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”

Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated
 

Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated

Pharmacy | | Right | April 21, 2009


(A patient walks up to the pick up window looking like he just came from the emergency room.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanna drop this off…” *hands me an ER prescription*

Me: “Sir, this is the pick up window. You need to drop off the prescription at the drop off window.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “The counter at the entrance to the room with the big sign that says “Drop Off Window’.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “You know, you already waited in line so I’ll just take the prescription here. Have you ever had any medication here before?”

Customer: “I don’t know, have I?”

Me: “I’ll take that as a no. Do you have any allergies to medication?”

Customer: “Well, when I mix heroin and battery acid, I get a rash.”

Me: “… I’ll make a note on that.”

This One’s A No-Brainer
 

This One’s A No-Brainer

Pharmacy | Sydney, Australia | Right | February 13, 2010


Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart…or her brain.”

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark
 

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark

Pharmacy | | Right | October 26, 2009


(Note: much of our area is suffering from massive flooding. A man walks into our chain pharmacy, completely drenched from the chest down.)

Me: “Wow, what happened to you?”

Customer: “I tried to go to your other location and it was closed!”

Me: “That location is flooded, sir. There’s about four feet of water surrounding it.”

Customer: “I know! I had to wade all the way up to the door before I found out it was closed! How do you think I got so wet?”



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Not A Case Of If, But When…
 

Not A Case Of If, But When…

Pharmacy | | Right | August 20, 2009


(While waiting in line, I overhear a conversation between a teenager and a police officer, both of whom are also waiting. The boy has red plastic cups and ping pong balls in hand.)

Officer: “Can I ask what those are for?”

Teenage customer: “No, no questions.”

Officer: “Where’s the party?”

Teenage customer: “No parties.”

(The kid checks out, and as he’s walking out the door yells “SODA PONG!” and flicks his wrist.)

Officer, to me: “Yeah, I’ll get the call in a couple hours.”

There’s No Pills Like Home
 

There’s No Pills Like Home

Pharmacy | | Right | July 17, 2009


(A patient called in to inquire about her medication she had just picked up.)

Me: *on the phone* “Pharmacy.”

Patient: “Hi, I just picked up this medication, and I think I may have a problem.”

Me: “Is there something incorrect with how it was filled?”

Patient: “No, it’s just that the cream here says to apply locally, and I’m going out of town tonight. I was wondering if I could still use it.”

Me: “Um…yes, yes you can.”

Patient: “Oh, OK good…. Oh…oh God. I just realized…oh my God, just forget I asked! How stupid of me!”

On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices
 

On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices

Pharmacy | | Right | July 15, 2009


Me: “*** Pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, your medicine is defective.”

Me: “Sir, why don’t I get your information so I can take a look at your profile.”

Customer: *gives his name and date of birth*

Me: “I see that the last prescriptions you filled were antibiotic and drops for your ear infection. Are your symptoms still bothering you?”

Customer: “Yes, and how the h*** do you expect me to fit this giant pill in my ear?”

Me: “Sir, that’s an antibiotic tablet. It’s meant to be taken orally.”



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Where There’s A Pill, There’s A Way

Pharmacy | | Right | May 21, 2009


(A customer comes in with a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. He says that he was at the hospital with his wife and the hospital stole his pills, which is why he needs to get this prescription filled, even though his last prescription was just filled a few days ago.)

Me: “OK, sir, I talked to your doctor and he says I can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “Great, can I wait? I have no pills left and I really need it.”

Me: “It’ll be about 10 minutes.”

(10 minutes later.)

Me: “OK sir, your prescription is ready.”

Customer: “Hey, are those pills the same as this?” *holds up pill*

Me: “I thought you didn’t have any pills left, sir.”

Customer: “Well…I bought this off the street, to be honest with you.”

Me: “Oh…good.”



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Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days
 

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days

Pharmacy | | Right | April 23, 2009


(An elderly man calls up to the store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”

Me: “OK, well, what can you tell me about the product?”

Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’ – can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: Well, sir…that’s a feminine hygiene product.”

Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Sir…it’s for women on their period.”

Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”

Me: “I don’t know sir, maybe you should ask her that.”

Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”