Feeling Pooped
 

Feeling Pooped

Pharmacy | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Right | September 12, 2010


(A couple approaches the counter.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, can you give me advice about his stool?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give medical advice. Perhaps you’d like to speak to our pharmacist, or consult your doctor?”

Customer: “No, I’m sure they’re very busy. I just want someone to tell me if it’s normal.”

Me: “The law says I can’t give advice. Let me get the pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, really, I have some here.” *whips out a clear bag of poo on the counter* “See, it’s all gritty. That’s not normal, is it? Do you have pills for that?”

Me: “Ma’am, you might want to take that to your doctor. We can’t accept biological waste.”

Customer: *to her husband* “See, Joe, I told you it was wrong. That’s why I save them.”

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily
 

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily

Pharmacy | Richmond, BC, Canada | Right | January 26, 2011


(I need to make a new profile for the customer’s wife on our computer system, so the customer calls his wife.)

Customer, to wife: “Hello? What’s your card number? It’s for the prescription.”

(The customer relays the card number to me. I ask for her birthday.)

Customer, to wife: “When’s your birthday? No, of course I remember. It’s December 7th!”

(I hear his wife cry out loudly over the phone.)

Customer, to wife: “What? It’s September 22nd?!”

(The customer ends the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Me: “Are you going to be alright when you go back?”

Customer, to me: “You should warn me next time you have to ask for her birthday.”

Identity Theft Is Childs Play
 

Identity Theft Is Childs Play

Pharmacy | Iowa City, IA, USA | Right | January 14, 2011


(I am a customer in line. There is a woman with a 4 year old finishing up their purchase.)

Me: “Here’s your change.”

4-Year-Old: “Mommy, can I do the scribbles?”

Customer: “No, honey. I paid with cash, not my credit card.”

Children Get Sick Periodically
 

Children Get Sick Periodically

Pharmacy | New York, New York, USA | Right | November 19, 2010


(A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

Customer: “Oh look honey, they have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

(The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

(The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

Daughter: “QUICK MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service
 

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service

Pharmacy | London, UK | Right | November 1, 2010


Customer: “I’ve come to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Oh I’m really sorry, due to extenuating circumstances we don’t have a pharmacist at the moment so legally I can’t give out any prescriptions. But if you wait 5 minutes, a replacement pharmacist will be here and then you can take it.”

Customer: “But I need it. Give it to me!”

Me: “I understand your problem but I would be breaking the law if I gave it to you.”

Customer: “I work in the pharmaceutical industry and I know for a fact you are lying! Give it to me now!”

(The pharmacist arrives and I explain the problem.)

Pharmacist: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience but my colleague was right, there was nothing she could do. But now that I’m here, you can take your prescription.”

Customer: “You’re colleague is a cruel, moral-less b**** with the intelligence of a moron. She has endangered my life! I shall take this to court and win!” *storms out*

Me: *to pharmacist* “What was in her prescription?”

Pharmacist: “Drops for excessive ear wax.”

Zombies Need Lawyers Too
 

Zombies Need Lawyers Too

Pharmacy | Miami, FL, USA | Right | June 17, 2011


Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately we are waiting on your prescriber to contact the pharmacy because parts of your prescription were unclear.”

Customer: “Are you telling me my prescription is not ready?”

Me: “Yes, it is not ready.”

Customer: “Well, if I die, I’m suing you!”

The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision
 

The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision

Pharmacy | Joliet, IL, USA | Right | May 23, 2011


(I am closing the pharmacy curtain. A customer comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my prescription for my pain medication. I’m in a lot of pain.”

Me: “Okay. Just for future reference, the pharmacy closes at 9pm.”

Customer: “I know. I was too busy getting an iPhone to get here while you were open.”

This Medicine Doesn’t Really Hit The Spot
 

This Medicine Doesn’t Really Hit The Spot

Pharmacy | TX, USA | Right | April 10, 2011


Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. What can I help you with?

Caller: “I just bought some [acne medication]. I was wondering if you could, uh… use it on herpes?”

Me: “On herpes? [Acne medication] is a treatment for acne only.”

Caller: “So can I put it on my junk or not?”

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over Him
 

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over Him

Pharmacy | Baldwinsville, NY, USA | Right | April 3, 2011


Customer: “I’d like to buy some syringes.”

Me: “Can I see some ID?”

Customer: “They’re not for me, they’re for my dad. He’s a diabetic and needs them for his insulin.”

Me: “Okay. I still need to see some ID. Do you know his date of birth?”

Customer: “I’ll never forget his date of birth. I had it tattooed on my arm the day he died.”

(The customer proceeds to show everyone in the pharmacy the tattoo of his deceased father’s DOB–the same father that he is trying to buy syringes for.)

So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees
 

So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees

Pharmacy | United Kingdom | Right | January 30, 2011


(I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two youngs boys is ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

(The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

(The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

Mother, to me and the pharmacist: “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

Not So Modest Aspirations
 

Not So Modest Aspirations

Pharmacy | Europe | Right | August 25, 2011


(I’m speaking with a three year old girl as I serve her mother.)

Me: “Do you like the pharmacy? Do you think you will be a pharmacist when you grow up?”

Girl: “No! I will be a dancer!”

Me: “Oh, a dancer! That’s nice! Like in a dance group?”

Girl: “No! On the pole!”

Cost-Benefit Analysis
 

Cost-Benefit Analysis

Auto Parts, Pharmacy | Dalton, GA, USA | Right | August 25, 2011


(A customer comes in to pick up his Viagra prescription. I’m trying not to be awkward and ring him up as if it’s any other order.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “My name is [name]. I need to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “That will be just a moment.”

(I get the man’s prescription and proceed to ring him up for it.)

Me: “Your total today comes out to [price].”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: *I repeat the price*

Customer: *mumbles* “Still cheaper than a hooker, I guess.” *pays and leaves*

Sleepless Sleep Aids
 

Sleepless Sleep Aids

Pharmacy | South West England, UK | Right | August 24, 2011


(A woman comes to the counter.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I see you’ve got [sleep aid]. Does it come in a non-drowsy version?”

Two Halves Make A Hole In Your Brain
 

Two Halves Make A Hole In Your Brain

Pharmacy | Massachusetts, USA | Right | August 22, 2011


Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like you to check how much my prescriptions are. My name is [name].”

Me: “You have two prescriptions waiting for you. Each one is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, how much does each one cost?”

Me: “$2.50 each.”

Customer: “So, one is $2.50. How much is the other one?”

Me: “Each of your two prescriptions is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, if I give you $5, how much will my change be?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Customer: *hangs up*

Recipe For Disaster
 

Recipe For Disaster

Pharmacy | Vancouver, WA, USA | Right | July 14, 2011


(A customer comes up to the pharmacy counter. Keep in mind, Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) is controlled in all 50 states as it is used to make methamphetamine.)

Customer: “I need some Sudafed.”

Me: “Did you want Sudafed or [store brand]?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The active ingredient is the same but sometimes they change the inactive ingredients. It still works the same though. Plus, [store brand] is about 5 bucks cheaper.”

Customer: “The recipe said I need Sudafed.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *realizing what she said* “Um, s***. Never mind, I got to go.”

Mắt Cũng Cần… “Thể Dục”
 

Mắt Cũng Cần… “Thể Dục”







(Dân trí) - Ngay cả khi có thị lực 10/10, việc chăm sóc đôi mắt vẫn rất quan trọng. Và dù bạn tin hay không, việc tập luyện cho đôi mắt cũng quan trọng như việc luyện tập những bộ phận còn lại của cơ thể.




Việc chăm sóc đôi mắt nên được ưu tiên hàng đầu, đặc biệt, nếu bạn dành phần lớn thời gian ngồi trước máy tính, điện thoại hoặc màn hình ti vi. Và nếu nhìn chằm chằm vào máy tính trong thời gian dài thì có thể khiến toàn bộ cơ thể trở nên mệt mỏi, chứ không riêng gì mắt.




Tập luyện cho đôi mắt rất quan trọng




TS. Keki Mehta, bác sĩ chuyên khoa Mắt, giải thích: “Những bài tập mắt rất tốt cả về mặt cơ học và quang học. Nó sẽ cải thiện sự ổn định cơ học của mắt bằng cách phối hợp và tăng cường các cơ mắt, làm tăng khả năng tập trung của mắt. Về mặt quang học, tập luyện mắt giúp cải thiện hình ảnh quang học phối hợp giữa hai mắt, giúp mắt chuyển tiếp một hình ảnh ba chiều chính xác đến não. Sau đó, sẽ gửi một tín hiệu khiến chúng ta nhìn rõ hình ảnh”.




Tuy các bài tập cho mắt có thể không giúp bạn giảm sự lệ thuộc vào kính, nhưng nó rất cần thiết nếu bạn muốn có một đôi mắt khỏe. Đôi mắt của bạn cũng giống như bất kỳ phần nào khác của cơ thể - chúng cần được nghỉ ngơi và phục hồi sau một ngày làm việc.




Tập luyện đôi mắt thường xuyên chắc chắn sẽ giúp bạn không cảm thấy mệt mỏi vào cuối ngày và đảm bảo rằng đôi mắt của bạn luôn trong trẻo.




Nguyên nhân của mỏi mắt




Đọc sách trong điều kiện không đủ sáng dẫn đến căng thẳng. Điều này là do đồng tử mắt phải giãn ra để cho phép nhiều ánh sáng vào mắt. Căng thẳng đôi mắt có thể dẫn đến nhức đầu dai dẳng, mệt mỏi, mờ mắt và mất khả năng tập trung.




Một trong những nguyên nhân phổ biến nhất của sự mệt mỏi của đôi mắt là nhìn quá lâu vào các thiết bị kỹ thuật số như màn hình máy tính, điện thoại thông minh hoặc các trò chơi video.




Tình trạng mỏi mắt được gọi là hội chứng thị lực máy tính. Nó ảnh hưởng đến khoảng 50-90 % nhân viên phải thường xuyên làm việc với máy tính. Tiếp xúc với ánh sáng quá chói hoặc nhìn chằm chằm vào một vật gì đo rất có hại cho mắt.




Ngoài ra, bất kỳ hoạt động nào khiến bạn phải tập trung cao độ trong thời gian dài có thể làm giảm tần số chớp mắt, dẫn đến khô mắt. Đây là lý do tại sao mắt bạn thường mỏi khi đọc trên đường đi hoặc đọc trong ánh sáng mờ.




Các bài tập cho đôi mắt




Đảo mắt: Đảo mắt theo chiều kim đồng hồ và sau đó đảo theo chiều ngược lại. Lặp lại sau 30 phút. Điều này đặc biệt cần thiết nếu bạn đang ngồi trước màn hình máy tính hoặc phải nghiên cứu trong nhiều giờ.




Che sáng: Nhắm mắt lại và dùng khum bàn tay của bạn che ánh sáng cho mắt. Tránh áp đẩy lực lên nhãn cầu. Điều này giúp thư giãn và xóa tan mệt mỏi cho đôi mắt.




Tập trung: Tập trung vào một vật xa bạn trong khoảng nửa phút. Cố gắng duy trì sự tập trung, sau đó chớp mắt nhanh nhiều lần. Tiếp theo, tập trung vào một vật gần đó trong khoảng 15 giây, rồi chớp mắt nhanh và nhiều lần. Thực hiện động tác này khoảng 10 lần.




Mai Phương

Theo The time of India

The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision
 

The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision

Pharmacy | Joliet, IL, USA | Right | May 23, 2011


(I am closing the pharmacy curtain. A customer comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my prescription for my pain medication. I’m in a lot of pain.”

Me: “Okay. Just for future reference, the pharmacy closes at 9pm.”

Customer: “I know. I was too busy getting an iPhone to get here while you were open.”

This Medicine Doesn’t Really Hit The Spot
 

This Medicine Doesn’t Really Hit The Spot

Pharmacy | TX, USA | Right | April 10, 2011


Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. What can I help you with?

Caller: “I just bought some [acne medication]. I was wondering if you could, uh… use it on herpes?”

Me: “On herpes? [Acne medication] is a treatment for acne only.”

Caller: “So can I put it on my junk or not?”

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over
 

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over Him

Pharmacy | Baldwinsville, NY, USA | Right | April 3, 2011


Customer: “I’d like to buy some syringes.”

Me: “Can I see some ID?”

Customer: “They’re not for me, they’re for my dad. He’s a diabetic and needs them for his insulin.”

Me: “Okay. I still need to see some ID. Do you know his date of birth?”

Customer: “I’ll never forget his date of birth. I had it tattooed on my arm the day he died.”

(The customer proceeds to show everyone in the pharmacy the tattoo of his deceased father’s DOB–the same father that he is trying to buy syringes for.)

So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees
 

So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees

Pharmacy | United Kingdom | Right | January 30, 2011


(I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two youngs boys is ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

(The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

(The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

Mother, to me and the pharmacist: “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

Not So Modest Aspirations
 

Not So Modest Aspirations

Pharmacy | Europe | Right | August 25, 2011


(I’m speaking with a three year old girl as I serve her mother.)

Me: “Do you like the pharmacy? Do you think you will be a pharmacist when you grow up?”

Girl: “No! I will be a dancer!”

Me: “Oh, a dancer! That’s nice! Like in a dance group?”

Girl: “No! On the pole!”

Cost-Benefit Analysis
 

Cost-Benefit Analysis

Auto Parts, Pharmacy | Dalton, GA, USA | Right | August 25, 2011


(A customer comes in to pick up his Viagra prescription. I’m trying not to be awkward and ring him up as if it’s any other order.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “My name is [name]. I need to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “That will be just a moment.”

(I get the man’s prescription and proceed to ring him up for it.)

Me: “Your total today comes out to [price].”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: *I repeat the price*

Customer: *mumbles* “Still cheaper than a hooker, I guess.” *pays and leaves*

Sleepless Sleep Aids
 

Sleepless Sleep Aids

Pharmacy | South West England, UK | Right | August 24, 2011


(A woman comes to the counter.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I see you’ve got [sleep aid]. Does it come in a non-drowsy version?”

Two Halves Make A Hole In Your Brain
 

Two Halves Make A Hole In Your Brain

Pharmacy | Massachusetts, USA | Right | August 22, 2011


Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like you to check how much my prescriptions are. My name is [name].”

Me: “You have two prescriptions waiting for you. Each one is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, how much does each one cost?”

Me: “$2.50 each.”

Customer: “So, one is $2.50. How much is the other one?”

Me: “Each of your two prescriptions is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, if I give you $5, how much will my change be?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Customer: *hangs up*

Recipe For Disaster
 

Recipe For Disaster

Pharmacy | Vancouver, WA, USA | Right | July 14, 2011


(A customer comes up to the pharmacy counter. Keep in mind, Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) is controlled in all 50 states as it is used to make methamphetamine.)

Customer: “I need some Sudafed.”

Me: “Did you want Sudafed or [store brand]?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The active ingredient is the same but sometimes they change the inactive ingredients. It still works the same though. Plus, [store brand] is about 5 bucks cheaper.”

Customer: “The recipe said I need Sudafed.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *realizing what she said* “Um, s***. Never mind, I got to go.”

I’ll Take An Album Cover For 7000
 

I’ll Take An Album Cover For 7000

Pharmacy | California, USA | Right | November 4, 2011


(I work in the OTC section of a well-known pharmacy chain. I’m stocking the shelves in an aisle when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’ve looked all over here. Where are your hemorrhoid wipes?”

Me: “Oh, those are actually down on Aisle 20.”

Customer: “Really? Why are they over there and not in this aisle with the rest of the anal care?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Anal care!” *points at the aisle’s sign*

(The sign she was pointing at? “Analgesics”.)

Like There’s No Tomorrow
 

Like There’s No Tomorrow

Pharmacy | Goffstown, NH, USA | Right | October 24, 2011


(A customer has called to ask if we carry an over the counter soap in our store.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am? I just checked and we do carry [brand] soap. However, we are all out of stock right now, but we could order some for you and it would come in tomorrow.”

Customer: “You don’t carry [brand]?”

Me: “We do carry it. We just don’t have it in right now.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Because other customers have purchased it. But we can order some for tomorrow.”

Customer: “Well, how long will that take?”

Me: “It’ll come in tomorrow.”

Customer: “So, how many days will that be

They’re Right Next To The Abacus Tablets
 

They’re Right Next To The Abacus Tablets

Pharmacy | North Carolina, USA | Right | October 10, 2011


(I’m working behind the counter one morning when an older customer and her son approach.)

Customer: “I’ve been really itchy lately. I need something for the itch. My son used algebra tablets last time.”

Me: “Well you could use an allergy tablet, but you can’t if you have high blood pressure.”

Customer: “I have high blood pressure but this itching is terrible. Can you show me the algebra tablets?”

Me: “I can’t recommend the allergy tablets, then. It could interact with your medicine.”

Customer: “I know, but my son had algebra tablets last time and they helped with the itching.”

Me: “Yes, the allergy tablets would interact though. So I can’t recommend those.”

Customer: “Which of these algebra tablets would you recommend?”

Me: *gives up* “The pink box.”

One’s Green And The Other Makes You Green
 

One’s Green And The Other Makes You Green

Pharmacy | New Jersey, USA | Right | October 10, 2011


Customer: “Hi, I’m calling to see if you have cholera pills in stock.”

Me: “I beg your pardon? Cholera is a contagious disease.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I’m looking for cholera pills!”

Me: “Um, do you mean the natural supplement Chlorella?”

Customer: “That’s what I said! Cholera! It’s spelled C-H-L-O-R-E-L-L-A. Cholera. I am looking for a large bottle if you have it.”

Me: *gives up* “Yeah, sure. We happen to have a few bottles of cholera in stock.”

Customer: “I’ll be there in five minutes!”

Run Artificial Stupidity Program
 

Run Artificial Stupidity Program

Pharmacy | Illinois, USA | Right | September 27, 2011


(Our pharmacy phone system is down, so all pharmacy calls are going through the main line, which is answered by me. These calls include people trying to reach the automated prescription line.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [store], where we offer flu shots every day. This is [name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “You’re not a machine.”

Me: “No. If you were trying to reach the automated line, the phones are down. I can connect you to the pharmacist.”

Customer: “I want the automated system. People are dumb

A Warm And Full(filling) Night In
 

A Warm And Full(filling) Night In

Pharmacy | Boston, MA, USA | Right | December 9, 2011


(A man in his mid-30’s approaches the register. I notice that he looks a little grumpy about something.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Hi.”

(It is at this point that I notice that he only has two items to ring up: a 20oz bottle of soda and an enema.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m holding an enema, what do you think?!”

Me: *speechless*

(I ring him up silently. Poor guy, I hope he feels better!)

D Is For Definitely Shiny
 

D Is For Definitely Shiny

Pharmacy | Wyckoff, NJ, USA | Right | November 16, 2011


(A customer walks to my register with a Halloween decoration in tow. It’s a cheap cardboard statue of a cartoon-looking black cat covered in a shiny plastic material.)

Customer: “So, why is this 3D?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I peer at the tag. It says “3D Cat”.)

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s 3D.”

Customer: “No, I mean why is it ‘D’? Is it because it’s shiny?”

(A multitude of thoughts are racing through my head at this point. I debate the prospect of explaining to her what 3D actually means. In the end, I decide it’s easier to just agree with her.)

Me: “Exactly! It’s really sparkly and that’s why it’s called a 3D cat. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: “Oh, definitely!”

What’s Your Poison
 

What’s Your Poison

Pharmacy | New Zealand | Right | November 15, 2011


(I’m a pharmacist in a rural area. A shop assistant calls me out from the dispensary to talk to a customer, who is a slightly intoxicated middle aged woman.)

Customer: “This medicine made my partner sick! Violently sick!”

Me: “Let me see. Has he had any alcohol?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Are you sure? Not even a little?”

Customer: “He doesn’t drink. Maybe only a little, but he wasn’t drunk.”

Me: “It clearly says on the label that you must not drink any alcohol while being treated with this medicine.”

Customer: “But he didn’t drink much at all. A beer shouldn’t matter, should it?”

Me: “It contains enough alcohol to–”

Customer: “But, like, you can even drive if you only drink a beer!”

Me: “That has nothing to do with–”

Customer: “I think he’d better not take this medicine. It made him violently sick!”

Me: “I think he should–”

Customer: “Thanks, I’ll tell him what you said. This medicine is a poison!” *turns around and walks out*

Have You Tried Dihydrogen Monoxide, Part 3
 

Have You Tried Dihydrogen Monoxide, Part 3

Pharmacy | Lansing, MI, USA | Right | November 9, 2011


(I am standing in line at the pharmacy counter and a man rudely cuts in front of me, stating that he has been waiting in line, just in another part of the store. He assures me he’ll be quick, but I don’t buy his excuse. The following exchange occurs between him and the pharmacist.)

Customer: “I need to speak to a pharmacist immediately.”

Pharmacist: “Do you have a question about your medication?”

Customer: “Yes, it says on the bottle to take with water. I don’t drink water. Water makes you fat.”

Pharmacist: “Um, water is essential for your body, especially with those pills.”

Customer: “What about water retention? Will I just pee it out, then?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, your body will eventually eliminate it. You should drink water, though. Your body needs plenty of water to work well, and you really don’t want to be dehydrated while on this drug.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it. Oh, and one more question. What about alcohol? Can I still have my alcohol?”

Take Two Werewolves And Call Me In The Morning
 

Take Two Werewolves And Call Me In The Morning

Pharmacy | New Zealand | Right | November 8, 2011


(I have just given a customer his prescription and am explaining to him the directions.)

Me: “So, just take two of these with water at night.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks. Wait, I work at night…should I take these in the day time?”

Me: “Yes, just take them before bed.”

Customer: “Okay, so they aren’t activated by the moon or anything?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: *slight disbelief* “Hmm, okay…” *turns around and leaves*

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily
 

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily

Pharmacy | Richmond, BC, Canada | Right | January 26, 2011


(I need to make a new profile for the customer’s wife on our computer system, so the customer calls his wife.)

Customer, to wife: “Hello? What’s your card number? It’s for the prescription.”

(The customer relays the card number to me. I ask for her birthday.)

Customer, to wife: “When’s your birthday? No, of course I remember. It’s December 7th!”

(I hear his wife cry out loudly over the phone.)

Customer, to wife: “What? It’s September 22nd?!”

(The customer ends the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Me: “Are you going to be alright when you go back?”

Customer, to me: “You should warn me next time you have to ask for her birthday.”

Identity Theft Is Childs Play
 

Identity Theft Is Childs Play

Pharmacy | Iowa City, IA, USA | Right | January 14, 2011


(I am a customer in line. There is a woman with a 4 year old finishing up their purchase.)

Me: “Here’s your change.”

4-Year-Old: “Mommy, can I do the scribbles?”

Customer: “No, honey. I paid with cash, not my credit card.”

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum
 

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum

Pharmacy | Madison, WI, USA | Right | January 3, 2011


(I hear this conversation in my checkout line.)

Customer #1: “Oh my God, I love that nicotine gum! It makes my mouth feel all numb.”

Customer #2: “You know that stuff’s going to get you addicted to cigarettes, right?”

Customer #1: “Nah! That stuff gets you un-addicted to them and I don’t smoke. I’m fine!”

Children Get Sick Periodically
 

Children Get Sick Periodically

Pharmacy | New York, New York, USA | Right | November 19, 2010


(A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

Customer: “Oh look honey, they have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

(The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

(The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

Daughter: “QUICK MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service
 

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service

Pharmacy | London, UK | Right | November 1, 2010


Customer: “I’ve come to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Oh I’m really sorry, due to extenuating circumstances we don’t have a pharmacist at the moment so legally I can’t give out any prescriptions. But if you wait 5 minutes, a replacement pharmacist will be here and then you can take it.”

Customer: “But I need it. Give it to me!”

Me: “I understand your problem but I would be breaking the law if I gave it to you.”

Customer: “I work in the pharmaceutical industry and I know for a fact you are lying! Give it to me now!”

(The pharmacist arrives and I explain the problem.)

Pharmacist: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience but my colleague was right, there was nothing she could do. But now that I’m here, you can take your prescription.”

Customer: “You’re colleague is a cruel, moral-less b**** with the intelligence of a moron. She has endangered my life! I shall take this to court and win!” *storms out*

Me: *to pharmacist* “What was in her prescription?”

Pharmacist: “Drops for excessive ear wax.”