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Old 3 Days Ago   #651
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Come To Work To Make A Name For Yourself
RESTAURANT | WORKING | MAY 20, 2014
(For whatever reason, there’s a stash of name tags in our restaurant’s office. Occasionally, I’ll pick out one to wear for the day and go by that name with all of my customers. On this day, I picked out a male name, which also happens to be the name of another coworker. We look nothing alike: He is tall, heavy-set, and dark haired, while I’m a very petite, light haired female.)

Customer: “Your name is [Male Coworker]? That’s very unusual!”

Me: “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

Customer: *pointing at male coworker* “Isn’t he also [Male Coworker]?”

Me: *deadpan* “Yeah, he’s actually my twin brother. He was such a big baby they couldn’t see on the ultrasounds that I was in there, too. Our parents got a huge surprise when I was born three minutes later. They didn’t have another name picked out, so they just named us both [Male Coworker]!”

Customer: “Really?! That’s quite interesting! How did you guys know which one they were yelling for when you were growing up?”

Me: “Well, it was usually both of us because we were always getting into trouble together. But, parents always seem to mix up their kids’ names, so our parents actually had it a little easier than most.”

Customer: “Huh, I never thought of it like that.”

Me: “All right. Well, let me know if you need anything. As you know, my name is [Male Coworker]!”

(I recounted the episode to my coworker and we had a good laugh over it. I ended up telling the story at least three more times that day and not a single person questioned me.)
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Old 3 Days Ago   #652
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Turning Right Is Apparently Wrong
CAMP | RIGHT | JUNE 26, 2014
(I work in a campground that is just outside of the city limits. We are off a highway that has the ‘Welcome to our city’ sign on it, and which is the only way in or out of the city for miles. A customer comes in with a GPS.)

Customer: “I’d like to get into the city. What should I program into the GPS?”

Me: “Oh, it’s quite simple, just exit the campground and turn right. The highway leads into the city.”

Customer: “But what should I program into the GPS?”

Me: “Are you looking for a particular location?”

Customer: “No, I just want to get into the city itself. Can you tell my GPS what directions it should give me?”

Me: “All you have to do is turn right and follow the highway. You won’t need your GPS. Once you pass the ‘Welcome’ sign you should begin to see buildings.”

Customer: “But how do I get into the city? I need my GPS to tell me what to do!”

(I give up, and program the GPS with the coordinates of a gas station just past the ‘Welcome’ sign.)

GPS: “Turn right. In five kilometers, you will reach your destination.”

Customer: “Hey, the city is just down the road! You could have just told me to turn right!”
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Old 3 Days Ago   #653
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Likely To Cause IRE (Ironic Resourceful Ethics)
BOOKS & READING, FUNNY, LIBRARY, LOUISIANA, NEW ORLEANS, STUDENTS, USA | RIGHT | MAY 3, 2010
(I am working near a copy station, and a woman comes up with a large stack of papers.)

Customer: “Do you have any zip ties to bind this with?”

Me: “Sure, here.”

(As she binds the papers, I see the word “Ethics” on the first page.)

Me: “Oh, is this for an ethics class?”

Customer: “Yes! I didn’t want to pay for the book, so I photocopied it. Do you think the professor is going to like how resourceful I am?”

Me: “I’m sure you’ll have a very lively discussion about it.”
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Old 3 Days Ago   #654
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Making Phoney Claims
CALIFORNIA, COFFEE SHOP, CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, FUNNY, SARCASM, USA, WILD & UNRULY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 10, 2010
(A female customer has just left the store after receiving her order. She then returns, extremely agitated.)

Customer: “My phone is missing!”

Me: “Did you leave it in the store?”

Customer: “Of course not! I’m not stupid. It was in my car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, no one’s turned in a phone.”

(The customer then proceeds to search all over the not-exactly-large shop, including overturning the wastebasket in the restroom and questioning other patrons. Meanwhile, I take my rather expensive touch-screen phone to check the time.)

Customer: “Hey, that’s my phone!”

Me: “No, it’s not. It’s mine.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! People who work someplace like this can’t afford phones like that! Is that why you made my order take so long? So you could steal my phone?”

Me: “Are you saying while your coffee was being made, I snuck out the back door, ran around the building, found the one car in the parking lot that belonged to you, broke in, stole your phone, and got back in time to help the next customer in line?”

Customer: “So you admit it! I’m calling the police!”
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Old 3 Days Ago   #655
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Meanwhile In Oklahoma
HARDWARE STORE | RIGHT | DECEMBER 21, 2011
(I ring up a customer, who pays with debit. Shortly after I give him the debit machine to go through the prompts.)

Customer: “Oh, it seems to have cancelled the transaction.”

Me: “No problem. We’ll just start over.”

(I swipe his card again and hand him the machine.)

Customer: “See, here’s where I went wrong.”

(He shows me the screen. It says ‘Purchase: 8.50$ OK?’ Underneath, the left button is indicated as ‘OK’, and the right as ‘CAN’ for ‘cancel’.)

Me: “So, did you press OK to approve the transaction?”

Customer: “I thought CAN meant Canada!”
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Old 3 Days Ago   #656
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Sweet (Tea) Out Of (Pot) Luck
FAST FOOD, HOLIDAYS, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK | RIGHT | DECEMBER 24, 2009
(We are having our annual Christmas party/potluck dinner one Sunday night at our fast food restaurant. I’ve placed signs showing we are closed and have blocked off the drive-thru. One of my fellow employees notices a man standing at the counter.)

Me: “Hi, sir, can I help you with something?”

Customer: “I have been standing here for five minutes and I haven’t been helped! Give me a number one with a sweet tea.”

Me: “Well, we are closed on Sundays. This is our Christmas Party.”

Customer: “Closed? All the lights are on!”

Me: “Yes, we need them for the party.”

Customer: “I have never heard of such a thing. So I can’t get that number one?”

Me: “No, sir. All of our machines are off. We are closed.”

Customer: “What about a sweet tea?”

Me: “Sir, we are closed. We don’t have anything we can give to customers.”

(The customer sees our buffet-style employee potluck.)

Customer: “Well, can I get a plate?”
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Old 3 Days Ago   #657
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Has No Heart For Your Condition
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, FLORIDA, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 15, 2018
(My father was recently diagnosed with a genetic heart condition, and his doctors want all of his children to be checked for the condition. I make an appointment with my doctor so I can get a referral to a cardiologist.)

Doctor: “What are you here for today?”

Me: “My father was just diagnosed with [heart condition], and his doctors have ordered all of his kids to be tested for it. I just need a referral to a cardiologist.”

Doctor: “You’re way too young to be worrying about that. A heart condition wouldn’t affect you right now.”

Me: *initially speechless* “Well, I’d rather get the tests done so it isn’t a problem later.”

Doctor: “As I said, you’re too young. I’ll see you back in a few months for your annual.”

(The doctor left. Needless to say, that doctor did not see me back again. When the practice asked why I was attempting to switch doctors — something they usually don’t allow — I happily told them the whole story and requested that it be put on the doctor’s file as an official complaint. I eventually got the referral and did not have the genetic condition, but they did find a minor issue that just needed to be noted and checked every few years.)
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Old 3 Days Ago   #658
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Has More Than Just Teething Problems
BAD BEHAVIOR, DENTIST, PATIENTS, PENNSYLVANIA, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 14, 2018
(My dad is a dentist, and his office is a suite attached to the house. As a child, I am home sick from school, and Dad is with a patient. The door to the office chimes, followed by a long bang. By the time his hygienist comes out to check, the waiting room is empty. Meanwhile, I wake up to a man standing at the foot of my bed. I yell in a panic, and he looks strangely at me, and then puts a hand to his cheek.)

Patient: “I know my appointment isn’t until tomorrow, but this is killing me. Can you fit me in today?”

(Sick and scared, I kept yelling until my dad came running in, still wearing his mask. The patient had walked into the waiting room and, finding it empty, had broken down the door between the office and the house. Then, he had wandered through the house until he found the ten-year-old asleep in bed, and tried to reschedule his appointment. My father was furious and refused to work on him. The guy was surprised.)
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Old 3 Days Ago   #659
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“The Adventures Of Harold, Benjy, And Carmen” Sounds Awesome
COLORADO, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, PATIENTS, THERAPIST, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 13, 2018
(I’m in a short-term rehab center, recovering from surgery. A speech therapist comes in with a form in her hands.)

Therapist: “Good morning! I’ll just take a couple of minutes here to see how your speech and language skills are, all right?”

Me: “I suppose.”

(I teach special needs, and immediately recognize the form; it’s the mental acuity screener. BAH!)

Therapist: “Can you tell me where you are?”

(This goes on for awhile, and I’m getting irritated.)

Therapist: “Now, would you name these three animals?”

(She shows me sketch of a lion, an elephant, and a hippo.)

Me: “How about Harold, Benjy, and Carmen?”

Therapist: *silent*

Me: “Well, the task as phrased was to name the animals. If it were stated correctly, you would have asked me to identify the animals, and I would have told you they were a lion, elephant, and hippo.”

Therapist: *silent, but grinning*

Me: “And the number they told me to remember when I had this identical screening in the hospital was 74.”
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The Seated Dead
HEALTH & BODY, LIARS/SCAMMERS, RETAIL, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | AUGUST 12, 2018
(I work as the customer service manager for a furniture store. While I am at lunch they make a sale of a chair from the floor. Floor sales are final. I get back from lunch and the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I was in earlier and bought a chair off your floor for my husband. I got home and my son told me he had the same one, so I want my money back.”

Me: *not knowing if it was special order or from the floor* “Let me check your order.”

(I pull up the invoice and see that it’s a floor item, and that she also signed the paperwork acknowledging that the sale was final.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but you purchased this from the floor. All floor sales are final.”

Customer: “But my son has the same one. I bought this for my husband so he can be comfortable, because he’s going through chemo and it’s hard for him. I don’t want the chair anymore! You have to give me my money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you and your husband are going through that, but you signed the paperwork acknowledging that this was a final sale.”

Customer: “You have to give me my money back! I want to speak to your manager!”

(I wave the manager over and she tells the woman the same thing. The customer huffs but gets off the phone. The next day

Me: *answers the phone* “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help?”

Customer: *from yesterday* “I bought a chair and don’t want it anymore. Give me a refund.”

Me: “Ma’am, as we explained yesterday, all floor sales are final. You agreed to this and signed the paperwork.”

Customer: *bursts into tears* “But I bought that chair to make things easier for my husband and he just died!”

(I can’t help but think, “Right, because the first thing I’d do after my husband passed would be to get a refund on a chair.”)

Me: “Let me get the manager.”

(I pass the phone to my manager who talks to the woman for about five minutes and decides it’s easier to just give her the refund. A couple months later, I answer the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help?”

Customer: *with the chair* “Listen, [Manager], I’m looking at my statement and the money hasn’t been refunded yet. I want my money back!”

Me: “This isn’t [Manager]; this is [My Name].”

(Before I can say anything else, she cuts me off.)

Customer: “Well, I want my money back. I’m having to drive my husband to and from chemo all the time, and I’m financially hurting. Get me my money!”

(I pass the phone to my manager, who talks for a few minutes and hangs up.)

Manager: *to me* “I thought her husband died?”

Me: “It’s a miracle!”
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Their Etiquette Has A Few Developmental Issues
FLORIDA, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS, STRANGERS, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 11, 2018
When I was around twelve I began experiencing repeated and painful skin infections in practically every scrape or scratch I got. This led to very frequent visits to my pediatrician for, at first, prescription strength antibiotic ointments, and then multiple tests to find out the cause of the infections. My doctors were amazing. But their other patients… not so much.

One experience that sticks out is the day I went in to get a blood draw. We were fairly early, so my mom and I waited out in the empty lobby. I tended to sit with one leg folded under me and the other knee pulled up to my chest so I could “crouch” on the chair and balance my Harry Potter book on my foot so I could read. It looked odd to most people, but I’ve always found it comfortable.

Not long after we settled in, another mother — a very rude lady — and her son came in. Though we didn’t know them by name, the pair were not unfamiliar to us, as we saw them around town often and the son had been doing occupational therapy with a partner at my mom’s company. The rude lady’s son had some fairly significant physical and mental handicaps and was vocal but nonverbal, and was, through no fault of his own, already making loud sounds and yells as his mother physically dragged him into the lobby.

Instead of sitting in any of the other empty twenty odd seats, the rude lady pulled her son over and sat down directly across from us, with about two feet of aisle space separating our knees. The rude lady immediately struck up conversation with my mom, while I continued reading.

They seemed to be getting along fine, and I tuned them out until I caught this lovely gem, seemingly out of nowhere: the rude lady suddenly leaned forward, patted my mom on the knee, and said in the most condescending and mock-sympathetic voice, “Is she mentally r*****ed?”

This, of course, caught my attention. My mom was staring at her in shock when I looked up and said, “Wow, that’s rude, lady. Just because your kid has some problems doesn’t mean everyone else’s does.”

In hindsight, this was quite cruel of me to say, and I regret saying it every time I think back to this experience. In private, my mom scolded me for pulling the rude lady’s son into it, and she was very right to do so.

The strangest thing out of it all, though, was that once the rude lady got over sputtering a few choice slurs at us, she roughly grabbed her son’s arm and marched out of the pediatrician’s office. Only afterwards did we realize she had never gone up to the front desk to check in or schedule an appointment. It seemed that her entire reason for coming in was to engage with another mother-child duo in the hope that she would find someone else going through the same experiences as her.
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With A Mother Like That, Pain Tolerance Is Through The Roof
GEORGIA, HOSPITAL, JERK, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 10, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

I am seven months pregnant, and my friend picks me up for a girl’s night. We watch movies, eat junk food, etc., until she falls asleep about one am. At two, I’m still up, unable to get comfortable. I’ve been having Braxton Hicks contractions for the last couple of days, but tonight they’re just relentless.

I consider waking my friend up to take me home; however, she has epilepsy, often triggered by exhaustion and lack of sleep. She’s a bit of a worry-wort, and I don’t want to have her be tired, panic, and end up having a seizure, especially while we’re on the road.

About six am, I get a hold of my mother, and she agrees to come get me. By this point, the contractions hurt, and I can’t really sit or stand. But I don’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill, so I just grit my teeth and breathe until they’re over. Once there, my mom tells me that she doesn’t really know how to help me, but that she’s going to take me to the hospital, just in case there’s a problem.

When we get to the hospital, I have to stop every couple of steps to breathe and crouch over. My mother comments, “You don’t have a very high pain tolerance, do you? You’ve never really been able to handle pain.”

I ignore her comment because she’s been saying this since I was a kid. Once we finally make it to labor and delivery, the nurse — who has a really cool tattoo sleeve — tests for leaking amniotic fluid, and checks my cervix. She makes a less than promising face, then tells me that she’s going to grab another nurse for another opinion.

She comes back with an older lady that doesn’t even look at me. They go to the counter and I hear the nurse with the sleeve showing her the amniotic test. “It’s faint, but I definitely see a line.” The older nurse glances at it and quickly dismisses her, “No, no. It’s definitely negative.” The sleeved nurse says, “No, I think it’s positive for fluid. Can you at least check her cervix? I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think it’s close.” The older nurse rolls her eyes, “It isn’t close to her due date, but fine.”

The older nurse then turns to me and goes to check my cervix. Her eyes widen, and she turns back to the nurse with the sleeve. Unfortunately, I have another contraction and only manage to catch a couple key words of their conversation. Then, the older nurse leaves. The sleeved nurse gently talks me through the contraction, and then tells me what’s going on:

At 29 weeks, I am in labor, already eight centimeters dilated, though my water hasn’t broken. The baby could come at any time now, but they are going to try to give me some medications to slow it down. She says that she is going to call the doctor to get approval on some pain medication for me.

Six hours later, I give birth to a healthy baby girl, who is rushed off to the NICU. I silently labored for almost 12 hours, and almost had my baby at my friend’s house. After everything calms down, I am bewildered at my mother’s “low pain tolerance” comment, and I wonder what would’ve happened if I had only seen the older nurse and not had the sleeved nurse to stand up for me. The sleeved nurse was the most amazing healthcare professional I’d ever had, because for the first time, she took what I said seriously. My daughter is doing well, and will hopefully be able to come home soon. My mother still believes that I’m over-dramatic and wimpy when it comes to pain, but at least I can say I went through most of my labor without medication or complaint.
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Not Being Sedate About It
AUSTRALIA, JERK, VET | HEALTHY | AUGUST 10, 2018
(I’m a vet in a country town in Australia. Here, certain prescription drugs for farm animals can be dispensed for use without us seeing the animals, as long as a vet has been onto the property in the previous 12 months. This is rarely an issue, as we go to most farms on a regular basis to do routine work; however, I have trained the receptionists to check a client’s file every time they order drugs, just to confirm when we were last out there. For some background info, a common practice for shearing sheep is to sedate full grown rams, just enough to make them a bit easier to handle, as rams can often weigh as much or more than your average shearer, and can hurt you if they decide to put up a fight. These days, almost all shearers refuse to shear rams without sedation. The sedative used is, of course, a prescription drug, although to my knowledge it is no longer used in people. I haven’t been at this practice very long, so I don’t really know anyone. My boss, on the other hand, has been a vet for a while and knows just about everyone in the community. I’m sure you can see where this is going

Receptionist: “[Client] is out the front, wanting [Sedative] for 60 rams. The shearers are coming today, but we haven’t been to the property in over four years. He won’t listen to me at all. Can you please talk to him?”

Me: *heading out to front desk* “Hello, [Client], I believe you’re wanting [Sedative]? [Receptionist] has already told you we can’t give it to you. We haven’t been to your farm for a while now.”

Client: “That’s bulls***. [Boss] gives it to me all the time!”

Me: “Well, I’m not [Boss], so I’m not giving it to you without a farm visit.”

Client: “Come on. Everyone knows I’ve got sheep. What the h*** else would I use [Sedative] for?”

Me: “I don’t know, but people get creative. I don’t know who you are, and I’ve never been to your farm, so I have no idea if you actually have sheep or not.”

Client: “So, you’re going to charge me to come out to my property so that you can see I’m not lying to you. That’s bulls***.”

Me: “That’s exactly right, [Client]. It’s the law. If I get caught dispensing drugs inappropriately, I can get into serious trouble and possibly lose my licence, permanently. I am not prepared to risk years of hard work and a job I love just so you can save $150. Just because [Boss] does it, that does not mean I have to do it. So, either I come out to your farm, or you wait until [Boss] is back in the clinic, and you can take it up with him.”

‎Client:‎‎ “Oh…” ‎‎ ‎‎*suddenly goes very quiet*‎‎ “I didn’t know you guys could get in trouble.”‎

Me: “That’s okay. I suspect [Boss] doesn’t, either, which is probably why he just gives it out. Now, I can be at your farm in about an hour; will that be okay?”

Client: “Yes, thank you.”

(Everything went smoothly after that, and [Client] even gave me a box of chocolates to apologise for being difficult. My boss very quickly changed how he worked once I showed him the legislation, and backed me up if other clients ever came in to argue. The original client was also good enough to spread the word around town, and within six months we stopped having issues.)
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Derpy With The Herpy
COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY, HEALTH & BODY, NEW YORK, RUDE & RISQUE, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 9, 2018
(I’m visiting a zoology lab that researches amphibians, which is a facility I’ve never been in before. While I’m sitting in an office chatting with a PhD student and waiting for a meeting, I notice a post-it that says “Clinic” and has a phone number.)

Me: “Hey, that’s not the extension for student health.”

PhD Student: “Oh, no, that’s a [City] free clinic. They do STI testing.”

Me: “Uh… Okay.”

PhD Student: “Yeah, it gets more use than you’d think around here.”

(My understanding of what the amphibian lab gets up to slowly starts to dissolve, when the PhD student speaks up again.)

PhD Student: “Yeah… People just Google ‘herpetology’ without knowing what it means, apparently.”
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Prescribing You The Ability To Listen
JERK, MINNESOTA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 9, 2018
(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a twenty-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir. How I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested — [Prescription] — isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)
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Shame You Can’t Prescribe Any Common Sense
CALIFORNIA, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, SAN FRANCISCO, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 8, 2018
Doctor: “How did the new medications work for you?”

Patient: “I’m still waiting for them! The pharmacy still hasn’t called to let me know they are ready to pick up!”

Doctor: “Did the insurance deny the medications?”

Patient: “No, I didn’t hear any response from the insurance yet, either!”

Doctor: “Really? Which pharmacy did you take the prescription to? I can give them a call to check on this.”

Patient: “Oh, I never took it to the pharmacy. I still have the prescription here in my wallet!”
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Not At Your Cervix
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, JERK, PATIENTS, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | AUGUST 8, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(My 26-year-old sister has had problems with endometriosis for five years. She is on medications that she hates, and has thousands of dollars worth of medical bills as a result. She doesn’t want children, and has decided to have her uterus removed, with the support of her therapist, OBGYN, and our family. Because she has never had children, they will have to do the surgery like a C-section, which will have a six-week recovery time, and she cannot take that much time off of work. Her OBGYN recommends her to another doctor who uses robotic-assisted equipment, so she will have a shorter recovery period. She goes to meet with the other OBGYN. The nurse is taking her history, and you can see the judgement on her face. A few minutes later, the OBGYN comes in.)

OB: “I’m not going to try to talk you out of it… Okay, I am. You are very young to have this procedure, and many women who are younger than 30 end up regretting the surgery once it is complete. And you aren’t married; your future husband might want children.”

(He keeps repeating that he isn’t trying to talk her out of it before contradicting himself as he goes on to suggest several other medications — most of which she’s already tried — that caused her to gain weight, suffer severe anxiety and depression, and give her suicidal thoughts. She is extremely sensitive to side effects. Finally, the doctor suggests another medication she hasn’t tried, but has side effects she has suffered before.)

Sister: “No, but I have researched it, and I don’t like the side effects.”

OB: *pointing at nurse* “She’s been on it for eight years, and she’s just fine.”

Mom: “She would rather be an aunt. She has never had any desire to have children, and she is tired of being in pain.”

(It seemed like once he knew my sister had my mother’s approval, he realized he was fighting a losing game. He sighed and gave up, and told us how they would do the procedure, and that they would get in touch with her insurance. Later, my sister told me that she believed the doctor would have flat-out refused to do the surgery if my mother hadn’t been there to back her up, and two weeks after the appointment, she called to check up on what her insurance could do, only to be told they hadn’t even contacted them yet.)
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Severely In Need Of A Cruise
CALIFORNIA, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, SAN FRANCISCO, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 7, 2018
Patient: “I’ve been waiting for a half hour. I am in severe pain and need treatment urgently!”

Doctor: “I’m sorry about that. I want to get you treated as quickly as possible. Let’s walk over right now to the Physical Therapy department. Chiropractic treatments have worked well for you in the past, and we can set you up for some chiropractic treatments right now.”

Patient: “Oh, no, I can’t do that. I am leaving on a vacation cruise for a month. I’ll call to schedule when I get back.”
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Talking Back To Your Parents
CALIFORNIA, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, NON-DIALOGUE, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 6, 2018
At some point when I was a kid, my father got the bright idea of using me for weight-bearing massage “treatments” by having me walk about on his back barefoot while he was lying on the floor. Mom usually gave me a hand to keep me stable. I have no clue if it ever worked to actually help with anything, but he kept periodically having me do it. When I was little I still thought it was fun.

His back seemed to gradually get worse as I grew older: lower spine problems. He mostly stopped having me do the walking massages as I aged into my teens.

Then one day when I was 17, when I hadn’t done it in several years, he seemed to be having some particularly bad back pains, and decided to have me stand on his back again. For some reason he was just absolutely convinced it would magically cure him, and somehow managed to rope Mom into agreeing with this. The problem is that at this point I weighed about 115 pounds — only about 15 pounds less than him — and could tell this was a terrible idea.

I refused. He insisted. I refused again and protested, pointing it out as being foolish and dangerous at my weight relative to his — he is a man of very slight and narrow build. He called me ridiculous. He and Mom both kept insisting, urging, and nagging me, and telling me I was being ridiculous. “Nothing will happen!” “Come on, it’s just a few minutes!” “Just stand on his back for a bit!” “Come on! Just help out your dad!” “It has to be you; there’s no one else, and you still weigh a lot less than Mom!”

After much protesting from me and nonstop insistence and urging — from Mom in particular, who’s always been very good at managing to bully me into doing just about anything against my will — I gave in, despite my better judgment. I very shakily stepped up on Dad’s bare back. His skin was sliding around sickeningly on his back under my feet. I nearly fell off right away, despite Mom doing her best to hold me up there, barely managing to stabilize me with her own entire weight. Meanwhile, he was very impatiently urging me to quit hesitating and being a coward, and get on with it already.

When I finally managed to stand on him properly, putting my entire weight on his back, he grunted alarmingly. Very alarmingly. And then he went abruptly very quiet. After maybe a couple of steps on him, Mom helped me get back off. Then, there were some very pointed, meaningful and alarmed looks between the two of them, but they didn’t actually say anything. I took this to mean I could finally escape the living room. Frankly, I just didn’t much care what was going on as long as I was no longer forced to participate.

There was a quiet commotion behind my back and for the rest of the day, I kind of made a point not to ask any questions for fear of being made to take part in some other poorly-thought-out treatment.

Though they’d never included me in important family concerns or given me any details about dad’s health problems, the general state of things became obvious to me in the next couple of days. What they’d made me do was indeed — Surprise! Surprise! — an incredibly terrible idea. Clearly I was too heavy, and it damaged his back even further. It was pretty severe, as far as I could tell, based the fact that he’d been forced to stay home from work for the next full week while spending pretty much all his time lying flat on the floor, except for occasional doctor’s appointments that Mom somehow had to find a way to cart him to.

Despite knowing it was stupid, I still felt guilty about what happened.

They didn’t say anything to me beyond a vague statement that Dad’s back had gotten worse — as if it was actually even possible to pretend that this had no relation with what they’d made me do. But there was never any hint of admitting that they’d done something foolish or that I’d been right. Unsurprisingly, in the following years, it became clear that Dad’s back was significantly damaged forever after this incident.

Lesson to be learned here: once in a while a teenager really does turn out to be smarter and have more basic common sense than both parents put together.
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Title Goes He—Pork Chop!
CALIFORNIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, SAN FRANCISCO, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 6, 2018
Doctor: “Did you bring your MRI?”

Patient: “I drove home to get my MRI, and, yes, I got it; but when I was there I was looking in the refrigerator and I saw pork chops, and I started thinking about pork chops for dinner and how great those are going to be! Well, the pork chops forced the MRI out of my mind, and I forgot all about the MRI and left it on the kitchen table!”
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Same Old Tired Story
BIZARRE, HOSPITAL, NURSES, PATIENTS, TENNESSEE, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 6, 2018
(My nurse recounts this story to my father, her coworker, after I wake up from appendix surgery.)

Nurse: “I’m getting her to recovery and expecting her to be out for another few minutes when she suddenly sits up, turns to me, and tells me in the most deadpan voice, ‘Hey, I’m going to throw up now. Sorry,’ and spews. Then she makes a face, lays back down, and falls right back asleep.”

Dad: *snorts* “Funny thing is, sleep-walking and -talking runs in our family. I do it, and my sister does it. It wouldn’t surprise me if my daughter does, too.”

Nurse: “She warned me. Maybe she just woke up for a minute.”

Dad: “She’s a teenager. She hasn’t been awake since she was twelve.”

(And that’s when I ACTUALLY woke up from the surgery and started grumbling about feeling groggy. Either way, I don’t remember puking, or telling the nurse I was going to. And to be fair to my dad, it’s ten years later, and I’m STILL always tired.)
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Same Old Tired Story
BIZARRE, HOSPITAL, NURSES, PATIENTS, TENNESSEE, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 6, 2018
(My nurse recounts this story to my father, her coworker, after I wake up from appendix surgery.)

Nurse: “I’m getting her to recovery and expecting her to be out for another few minutes when she suddenly sits up, turns to me, and tells me in the most deadpan voice, ‘Hey, I’m going to throw up now. Sorry,’ and spews. Then she makes a face, lays back down, and falls right back asleep.”

Dad: *snorts* “Funny thing is, sleep-walking and -talking runs in our family. I do it, and my sister does it. It wouldn’t surprise me if my daughter does, too.”

Nurse: “She warned me. Maybe she just woke up for a minute.”

Dad: “She’s a teenager. She hasn’t been awake since she was twelve.”

(And that’s when I ACTUALLY woke up from the surgery and started grumbling about feeling groggy. Either way, I don’t remember puking, or telling the nurse I was going to. And to be fair to my dad, it’s ten years later, and I’m STILL always tired.)
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Will Fight You On This Tooth And Nail
DENTIST, FRANCE, PATIENTS, STUPID | HEALTHY | AUGUST 5, 2018
(I study dentistry at a dental clinic in France. The dental clinic is split into what we call services: surgery, prosthetics, urgent care, etc. That means that a patient who wants the teeth we remove to be replaced by a prosthesis needs to coordinate his appointments with both services. It’s more complicated than just going to a regular dentist, but in France clinics make you pay exactly what healthcare reimburses, making it free for everyone, apart from “better” acts, like implants. The basic stuff is 100% covered, though, and that’s why poor people come here. Every service is clearly labeled. I have this interaction while working in the surgery service, with a patient who has six teeth left, and NO prosthesis.)

Me: “So, according to your file, we have to remove those three teeth.”

Patient: “But you will replace them, right?”

Me: “It says in your file that you have an appointment in prosthesis; they will take care of it.”

Patient: “But I want you to do it now! It’s in two months!”

(It is rather urgent that his teeth be removed, as they have already become infected in the past.)

Me: “Ah, well, then, we can remove the teeth now, and you can go to your planned appointment. In fact, it’s not that bad; we require about two to three months of healing before we can make a fully-functional prosthesis.”

Patient: “What will I do without my teeth, though? I’d rather stay like this and come back in two months!”

(The teeth we’re talking about are premolars. His front teeth, the incisors, are long gone, as are his back teeth, his molars. The premolars serve no purpose if they’re not surrounded or faced by other teeth.)

Me: “Are you sure? They could get infected again and cause you a lot of pain. They’re of no use to you, you can’t eat with them, and we don’t see them when you smile.”

Patient: “I want to keep them! What would I do without them?”

(I don’t know, the exact same thing you’ve been doing for the past ten years with your six remaining rotten teeth? He ended up leaving and refused any care. Bet he’ll b**** and moan when, in two months, they tell him they can’t do a nice prosthesis for two other months…)
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Interesting Germinating Little Minds
FUNNY KIDS, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, NON-DIALOGUE, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 4, 2018
When I was little, my mom was trying to teach me to wash my hands after I went to the bathroom. She told me that germs would climb onto my hands from the toilet, and that if I didn’t wash my hands to kill them, they might make me sick.

At that time, I didn’t realize that she meant that there were germs already on the toilet, and thus even flushing the toilet would contaminate my hands. I thought she meant that as I went to the bathroom, the germs would climb up my body, specifically trying to get to my hands so they could make me sick.

This led to a few years of me using the bathroom while holding my hands as far out as I could, so that the germs would have farther to climb. If my arms touched my upper body, for example, the germs could take the shortcut through my elbows and get to my hands sooner. If I took too long, there were germs all over my hands, and I needed to wash them. If I was fast enough, though, the germs hadn’t had a chance to get to my hands, and I didn’t have to wash them.

I am very sure that that was not the lesson my mother meant to teach me, but it’s the lesson my young self learned.
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Very Bad Reception, Part 22
BAD BEHAVIOR, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, UK | HEALTHY | AUGUST 3, 2018
(The doctors I am with primarily deal with “on the day” appointments, because let’s face it, you can’t schedule when you will be ill. They open at 8:00 am on the dot, and as I’m used to the fact they are busy, I start phoning at 7:59, hitting redial until I get the, “Welcome to…” automated message and not the, “The surgery is closed,” automated message. I’m aiming to be early in the queue of callers trying to get an appointment. Thankfully I get through quickly, having been second in the queue, and ask for an appointment to see a doctor. The receptionist is female, but my doctor is male.)

Receptionist: “Why do you want to see a doctor?”

Me: *politely* “I really would rather not discuss my medical issues with you, and would rather speak to my doctor about it.”

(This is my right here in the UK.)

Receptionist: “But I need to know why you want to see a doctor.”

Me: “I really am uncomfortable discussing it with you.”

Receptionist: “Unless you tell me exactly why you want to see a doctor, you will not today, or at any point, be able to get an appointment!”

Me: *losing my cool* “You are breaching every policy your practice has. I would like to speak to the practice manager, immediately.”

Receptionist: “There will be a short wait.”

(Thirty minutes later I was still on hold, and got another receptionist asking why I was holding for so long. I was put through to the practice manager, who was NOT aware I was waiting. I explained to the practice manager what had happened. I was advised I could come in immediately and see a doctor. I was given time with the doctor to go over my health concerns, which were legitimate concerns, but thankfully came to nothing serious. The first receptionist was made to apologise to me, and when I went back for a follow-up a month later, I was told she was no longer working there. I found out she had been doing this before, but it hadn’t been picked up on as people either caved, or just didn’t complain!)
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Very Bad Reception, Part 21
CANADA, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, QUEBEC, RECEPTION | HEALTHY | JANUARY 18, 2018
(There is a small medical clinic where I live. Usually, for walk-in patients, you get to the door very early, wait until they open it, then head for the desk, where you are assigned an appointment time for the day depending on the order of arrival. Usually, people behave and do not jump forward. Rarely, but sometimes, the clinic isn’t full, and going in mid-morning, you might still get a spot. It’s about 11, and I feel I might have a feminine infection. I stop by the clinic to see if there’s room.)

Secretary: “I’m sorry. There’s a new phone system in place. Now you have to call in the morning and leave your name and phone number. Someone will call you back with the time of your appointment.”

Me: “Well, I’m right here. Can’t you just give me a time?”

Secretary: “No, you have to call.”

Me: “Okay, fine.”

(I make two steps to the side, pick up my cellphone, take the card she gave me with the phone number, and start dialing. The secretary looks at me.)

Secretary: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Calling for an appointment. You said I absolutely had to call.”

Secretary: “Ugh… Okay, I’ll give you one.”

(I believe she suddenly realized that I would have left my info on the answering machine, that she would have listen to it, then call me back with the time, all while I was standing in front of her.)
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Very Bad Reception, Part 20
MUSIC | WORKING | APRIL 21, 2017
(I work at a market research firm. Part of my job involves calling the manufacturers of high-tech devices to interview them. Some of the companies I call are very large, and others are quite small family firms. Some of the smaller companies have local radio stations on instead of hold music. Usually these are country music stations with ads about farm equipment. One time though

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] calling from [Company]. Could I be connected with [Project Manager], please?”

Receptionist: “Sure thing. Please hold.”

Me: “Okay.”

Hold Music: *really loud gangsta rap* “MY MONEY AND MY HOES!”

(I started laughing so hard I had to hang up and call back again.)
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He’s A Scuffy-Looking Nerf-Herder
VET | WORKING | APRIL 20, 2017
(I work as a kennel assistant at an animal hospital. On this particular day, a stray kitten had been brought in for a health assessment. Vet #1 and one of the vet techs are examining the kitten while I stand by in case they need me to fetch anything else, since it’s been a slow day. Vet #2 enters the treatment room.)

Kitten: *squeaks indignantly*

Vet #1 : “Oh, you’re just so cute!”

Vet #2 : “Did you just call that thing ‘cute’?”

Vet #1 : “He’s very cute!”

Vet Tech: “Eh, he’s a little scruffy-looking.”

Me: “He looks like somebody used him to scrub a toilet.”

Vet #2 : “Exactly! That’s exactly what he looks like!”

Vet #1 : *leans in and stage-whispers to kitten* “Don’t worry, I think you’re cute.”

(We gave the kitten some food, a flea pill, and a clean bill of health; the person who found the kitten came back later that day, having decided to keep him.)
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This Not Working Is Just Not Working
COFFEE SHOP, HOSPITAL | WORKING | APRIL 21, 2017
(A coworker and I are the same age, and when she started working we generally got along. Sometimes I would even give her part of my tips if she didn’t make a lot. Since then she has become a royal pain and altogether terrible worker. I’ve seen her steal tips out of the jar, both on her working days and her days off. I’ve seen her call in and then show up at the shop to make herself and her friends free food and drinks. I’ve opened the shop the day after she has closed and come in to a mess that takes nearly three hours to clean up. She would be scheduled for two days a week and call in one. She has failed to show up several times, and her excuse for her absence was basically “Well, if I had known I needed to show up I would have.” We are short staffed, meaning shifts usually consist of one employee at a time. It also means my coworker probably won’t be fired, seeing as we need people. My coworker in question is on work suspension for excessively calling in, after months of incidents, and as a result is only allowed to work eight hours a week. It is the day before I am scheduled to open the shop at 5:30 am. I live half an hour away, so to get there on time I need to wake up around 4:30. My coworker texts me at 10:45 pm. this night, waking me up.)

Coworker: “Hey, I have a church thing tomorrow. Could you work for me from 2:00-6:00?”

Me: “If I really have to, I guess, but I’m opening tomorrow also.”

Coworker: “[Manager] says it’s fine. Thanks so much!”

(I decide not to argue because I’m not very busy the next day anyway. I go in for my morning shift and get off at 11:00 am. My manager has the shift from 9:00-2:00. Instead of wasting gas to go home for an hour and a half, I decide to sleep in my car until 2:00. I go back in until my other, much more likeable coworker comes in at 6:00. She sees me and immediately gets angry, as this is not the first time it has happened.)

Good Coworker: “Go home. I’ll deal with her. Do not take another shift of hers, got it?”

Me: “I wasn’t planning to.”

(The next day, my good coworker forwards me what is apparently the reply of our manager to what I assume was a long, merciless rant about the bad coworker.)

Manager: “I understand your concerns, but [Coworker] has a tough home life. I wouldn’t be surprised if she messes up here and there. I’ll talk to her about it, but there’s not much I can do, since we need workers. Most of the customers like her anyway. Cut her some slack.”

(I, in turn, sent a lengthy email of the above along with this manager’s reply to my supervisor, who seems to be unaware of the situation. Her solution was to increase her suspension to four hours a week. Losing it, I told her that four hours is all the coworker works anyway. I was fired for talking back.)
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What A Tool
SELF STORAGE | WORKING | APRIL 22, 2017
(I’m the bad employee here. I’m sitting at my desk in the front office of the storage facility when one of my long-time customers comes through the front door. He’s carrying a tool box.)

Customer: *holding toolbox up* “I’m here to fix what is broken!”

Me: *blinks; he’s not one of my usual workers; in fact, he’s a real estate agent, so I know he’s not actually here to fix anything, but Monday brain has me wondering what’s going on*

Customer: *after the lengthy silence of me not knowing what to say* “Are you broken?”

Me: “Well, I’m certainly not working!”

(He was just taking the tools through to his locker and thought he’d make a joke, but I was so tired that I didn’t understand at first…)
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Found Your (In)Voice
OFFICE | WORKING | APRIL 23, 2017
(As the accounting clerk for my office, I have to watch out for scammers trying to defraud us. One scammer kept sending invoices that claimed to be from the yellow pages, but contained multiple misspellings, and went to a random PO box in Florida. I’d just been shredding them for over a year, but this month I decided to reply. In a formal letter on our letterhead, I wrote

Letter: “Neither our facility, nor our parent company, nor any affiliate thereof, requested to be included in your supposed directory. This invoice is illegitimate, and void. Any further attempts to bill us for unrequested services will be referred to the Better Business Bureau and the Federal Trade Commission. Cease and desist immediately. A word of advice: when you try scamming companies, your odds would be much better if you actually got the name of your target right. Not only are you crooks, you’re incompetent crooks. Kindly do the world a favor and go get eaten by an alligator.”

(That felt good.)
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Trying To Hang Up At The Appointed Time
HAIR SALON | WORKING | APRIL 24, 2017
(I call up the local hairdressing salon.)

Me: “Hi! I was wondering if you have any available times today.”

Receptionist: “No, sorry. We can fit you in tomorrow morning, if you’d like?”

Me: “No, that’s okay. I only have today free, so I was just trying my luck. Thanks anyway!”

Receptionist: “How about 9:00 am?”

Me: “What, today?”

Receptionist: “Tomorrow.”

Me: “No, I can’t make it tomorrow. Thanks anyway! Bye then-”

Receptionist: “9:30?”

Me: “No… Bye for now-”

Receptionist: “10:00 am?”

Me: “Um, no?”

Receptionist: “Can you hold the line, please?”

Me: *mostly curious to see why she would want me to hold, since this discussion is going nowhere* “Okay, sure.”

(I hold for a few minutes, and then the boss comes on the line.)

Boss: “Hi. We cannot fit you in today.”

Me: “Yes, I realise that.”

Boss: “We do not have free time.”

Me: “I know… I understood that when it was first explained.”

Boss: “We can fit you in tomorrow?”

Me: “No, but thank you. I’m only free today. Anyway, bye for now-”

Boss: “Well, before you hang up, I’d just like to let you know we are open tomorrow.”

Me: “Um, that’s great, thanks. Bye now!”

Boss: “Just in case you didn’t know. So give us a call if you want to come in tomorrow.”

Me: “Okay, bye!”

(I hung up before she could say it AGAIN. They must have been incredibly desperate to book appointments for the following day!)
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These Jobseekers Have A Lot Of Ketchup To Do
FAST FOOD | WORKING | APRIL 25, 2017
(A young man comes in looking to apply for a job. He asks for an application, which is given to him.)

Man: “Can I get a pen, too?”

(My manager does not like to accept applications from people who can’t be bothered to be prepared for a simple application. We are also located next to a dollar store that sells pens for under a dollar.)

Manager: “Yes. Just wait one moment. We are extremely busy right now.”

(We carry out business and have very little intention to get the man a pen from the back.)

Man: *after standing next to the register for another 15 minutes* “Oh, my god!”

(He went over to the condiment section, squeezed a massive amount of ketchup into the spill tray, grabbed a fork, and then proceeded to fill in the application with ketchup. Needless to say, we did not hire him.)
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Lettuce Not Dwell On It
RESTAURANT | WORKING | APRIL 26, 2017
(My husband and I are on vacation and out for dinner. The server asks my husband what he wants as a side

Husband: “What’s the salad tonight?”

Server: “Lettuce.”

Husband: “…”

Server: “…”

Husband: “Oookay, I’ll have the steamed veggies, then.”
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His Application Was Like A Slap In The Face
OFFICE | WORKING | APRIL 27, 2017
(I am in the reception while our usual receptionist is on leave. There is a small window against the wall opposite the main entrance to the building, so we can see if anyone is coming in. Half of it is sliding glass which I have left open to create a breeze. I hear someone come into the building and look through the window. A man comes up and glares at me through the glass.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

(He continues to glare. I assume he’s waiting for someone and get on my work, but when I notice he hasn’t moved and still glaring I turn my back to him. He then screams.)

Man: “ISN’T ANYONE GOING TO OPEN THE WINDOW AND F**KING TALK TO ME?!”

(I spin around, but before I can say anything a manager, whose office has full view of the entrance, speaks up.)

Manager: “Move over to the right, just a smidgen.”

(The man does as he is told and jumps back when he realises there isn’t glass there.)

Manager: “There you go! That wasn’t hard was it?”

(The man glares at the manager before telling me he is here for an interview. He also whispers that the manager is a b***h who should get slapped.)

Me: *sarcastically* “I’ll take that under advisement. Okay, Mr [Man], for a senior safety advisor position?”

(He nods.)

Me: *loudly* “If you’ll just wait, I’ll go and tell the ‘b***h’ you’re here, and I’ll give her a slap, too, just for good measure.”

(I see him blush as I leave the room, stand right next to him and shout.)

Me: “B***H, YOUR 12 O’CLOCK IS HERE! DO YOU WANT YOUR SLAP NOW OR LATER?”

(He goes into her office and you can feel the tension emanating from the room. About five minutes later he flies past the window mumbling thanks. The manager follows.)

Manager: *handing me his CV* “Could you shred this for me, please?”

Me: “No chance?”

Manager: “Well, you can’t expect a ‘b****’ to take on every man who suggests they need a good slapping. At least he attempted a half-a**ed apology, before suggesting he could take on my role when I decide to ‘pop one out.’”

(Some of us men just don’t know when to shut up.)
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Laptop Flop, Part 21
TECH SUPPORT | WORKING | APRIL 28, 2017
(At our company, most people still use desktops, but we can issue laptops to people who need to travel, work remotely, or present a lot of meetings. We have a limited number of laptops to give out, so they are always in high demand, but I think this request took the cake…)

User: “I do work at two different departments within the company, so I need to travel back and forth inside the building frequently. I would like another desk to be set up with monitors, mouse, and keyboard, and a phone at my second location. In addition, I’d like a second laptop, so that I don’t have to carry my laptop between desks.”
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Making Being Underage Appetizing
RESTAURANT | WORKING | APRIL 29, 2017
(My friends and i decide to go out to dinner at a nice bar, although we are not 21 and we don’t plan on drinking. When we arrive, we are told that after 8 pm it’s only 21+, even though I had called twice to make reservations and they had never mentioned it.)

Manager: “I am so so sorry about this. Here is my card and next time you come back we will get you some free appetizers.”

Me: “Thank you!”

(We go back two weeks later and order dinner.)

Waitress: “We have taken off the appetizers from your meal. Would you like split checks?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

(She takes off and comes back five minutes later.)

Waitress: “Actually, it looks like we are going to comp your meal for the evening. Have a good night!”

(We thanked her profusely, as they didn’t have to do that, considering it was three people each ordering something. It was a nice reminder that good people still exist.)
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Can’t Let You In Because You’ve Got Buns, Hun
THEATER | WORKING | APRIL 30, 2017
(I work at an outdoor performance venue. This conversation takes place over the radio between my supervisor and the manager.)

Supervisor: “[Manager]?”

Manager: “Go for [Manager].”

Supervisor: “Are bunnies allowed in the park?”

Manager: *after a long pause* “Bunnies are allowed in the park if they are wild and free.”

Supervisor: “This one is a pet.”

Manager: “Nope.”
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Qualifications Worth Paying For
HOME | WORKING | MAY 1, 2017
(It’s about 12:30 am and I am about to get to bed when, out of the blue, a manager that I really do not get along with texts me. I should also mention that I’m technically senior faculty, but am not “qualified enough” for a promotion.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you work today 8:30 am to 2:00 pm? [Assistant Manager] called in sick earlier today and I need someone who knows what they’re doing on this event.”

Me: “So that means I would have to fill out all the paperwork that [Assistant Manager] would normally have to do, right? I’ve never done it before.”

Manager: “Yes, you would, but it’s easy.”

Me: “Does this mean I get paid $13.50 an hour instead of $8.50 an hour because I will be taking an assistant manager’s shift?”

Manager: “No, you’re not qualified to be an assistant manager. Will you or will you not be in tomorrow?”

Me: “No, I’m not doing the work of an assistant manager for the pay of a regular employee. Promote me or I won’t come in.”

Manager: “Fine, I’ll ask [Coworker who’s also a senior employee], then.”

(He said no as well. I plan on taking this to HR if it keeps up.)
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Old 13 Hours Ago   #690
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Needs To Night-Shift Their Opinion
BIRMINGHAM, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, ENGLAND, JERK, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PUB, UK | RIGHT | MAY 15, 2021
My brother and I are functionally nocturnal. We sleep at 10:00 am and wake at 4:00 pm. After a stressful night at work, the two of us find a pub and buy some drinks. As the weather is nice, we decide to sit outside while we drink.

A woman passes by with a bunch of young children. She sees us and points us out to her children.

Woman: *Pointing at us* “Disgraceful. It’s not even eight. Drinking at this hour. Kids, make sure you don’t become like them. You all must study hard and not be drunk deadbeats like them.”

Me: “Ma’am, really? You don’t want your kids to become doctors? Okay.”

Brother: “Pity. We need more surgeons on the night shift. Accidents can happen at any hour.”

Me: “Like that old man that had a stroke at 4:00 am?”

Brother: “Or that drunk driver that crashed at 2:00 am?”

Me: “Whatever. Kids, if your mom doesn’t want you to save lives, then who am I to complain?”

As we speak, we pull out our staff lanyards for the local hospital, grin, and knock our bottles together. Admittedly, we are a bit drunk by now, which is why we are being so unprofessional.

Woman: “Don’t listen to them, kids. They’re liars and drunks and a disgrace to society.” *Drags them away*
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Old 13 Hours Ago   #691
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Only Has Half The Facts
COFFEE SHOP, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, USA, UTAH | RIGHT | MAY 15, 2021
I work in a café that is also a bakery. Every now and then, we change our menu; something may not sell well, so we discontinue it and give our customers something else that’s brand-new. Of course, we’re all kept up to date about what we sell and don’t sell anymore, but some of our customers like to think they know way better than we do and it can be frighteningly easy to call someone’s bluff.

Customer: “Can I get a half-salad?”

We stopped selling half-salads more than two years ago. All of our salads are one size only.

Coworker: “I’m sorry, we only do full salads now.”

Customer: *Condescendingly* “How long have you worked at this job? You must be new at this.”

Coworker: “Actually, I’ve been here more than two years.”

Customer: “No, you must be new. I’ve been a loyal customer for more than two years and you always have half-salads. I bought a half-salad just last week.”

This went back and forth for a good while, and the rest of us had to roll our eyes and pity our poor coworker. Either this lady honestly confused us with another store, or she was trying to scam us.
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Old 13 Hours Ago   #692
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This Customer Is A Real Trip
CANADA, GROCERY STORE, HEALTH & BODY, JERK, ONTARIO, STUPID | RIGHT | MAY 15, 2021
I’m a front-end supervisor. It is nearing closing time and I am in the office counting the tills and starting other closing duties. I have one person working as a cashier. She calls me to open another till as the line is starting to get a bit long. I head out and call the next person in line.

A lady a few people back from being the next in line decides she needs to be first in my line. She picks up her basket and comes rushing over. In her rush, she trips over the basket of the shopper behind her. I don’t see this as I am quite short and there is a rack blocking my line of view.

After getting up, she comes to my lane and tells me what had happened. After making sure she is okay, I go to the office to grab an incident report sheet. It asks very basic questions, i.e. the weather, lighting conditions, etc., and a basic report of what happened. They have camera footage that they can look at, as well.

I basically put down that the customer tripped over another customer’s basket when proceeding to my till, floors are dry, weather is clear, etc. She’s not happy with this.

Customer: “You don’t care that I fell! How can you be so neutral about this?! I demand that you write a more detailed report. It’s your fault I fell. This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been in your office instead of helping customers!”

I grab a piece of paper and write out something more detailed and give her a copy.

When I come into work for my next shift:

Manager: “What happened? This customer left me ten voicemails complaining about you.”

I explain what happened.

Fast forward a week; my manager approaches me again.

Manager: “The customer from the other day is demanding an apology from you. I have this generic one written out. Will you sign it?”

Me: “Sure, as long as she stops coming in and harassing all my coworkers, asking about my name, how to contact me, when I’m working next, and so on.”

My manager, who had no idea that this has been happening, crumples up the apology letter, stomps on it, and picks it up and mails it to the customer.

A few months later, a friend and I are shopping at the only other grocery store in our town. I am standing in line, and a cashier opens the lane next to the one I’m in and calls the next person over. Who should go running? The same lady that tripped in the store where I work.

Me: *Shouting over the counter* “You shouldn’t run in grocery stores; you could trip and get hurt!”

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Old 13 Hours Ago   #693
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he Perpetual Training Train
COWORKERS, JERK, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, OFFICE, THE NETHERLANDS | WORKING | MAY 14, 2021
I have to perform two certain tasks in the morning. One is crucial to get the workflow of my department started; the other is a very complicated task for one single client of ours. Since performing both tasks makes it take longer for me to join my department in the workflow, my supervisor wants management to put someone else on task number two. Apparently, this is very hard for them.

In February, I have a talk about it with my supervisor.

Me: “Still no plan, I guess?”

Supervisor: *Almost laughing* “Well, there is a plan, actually, but I doubt it’s going to work. They want [Coworker] to do it.”

[Coworker] mans the warehouse, and over the last months, his enthusiasm for his job has visibly diminished. Still, I have to train him.

Coworker: “Who decided that I have to do this? [Supervisor] probably, eh?”

Me: “Not really, no…”

Coworker: “They want me to do more and more, while I barely have time left for my actual job! Oh, well, what the f*** do I care? I’ll learn it and then drop it and take a job somewhere else!”

He keeps acting like this throughout every morning I train him. He seems like he’s trying to learn the job, indeed, but he keeps claiming that he’ll learn it and then leave.

Me: “You’re really gonna do that?”

Coworker: “H*** yeah! When I say I’m gonna do something, I always mean it!”

His constant moaning and anger suck my motivation to train him out of me. I have some talks with my supervisor about his behaviour. She’s fed up with his bluff and his lack of work ethic, but since he answers to another department, she can’t discipline him for it.

Supervisor: “You know, he would actually have time to perform his main job if he wouldn’t take smoke breaks every two hours. Or if he wouldn’t get out for an hour to buy lunch.”

We have half-hour lunch breaks.

Supervisor: “But I have spoken to [Coworker’s Supervisor] and he also thinks we shouldn’t take his threats of leaving too seriously. It’s a bluff.”

It probably is, I admit. Still, weeks go by while I am training this completely unmotivated guy to perform this quite complicated task. Then, one morning, I come in and hear my supervisor on the phone.

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s quite clear to me that someone here is being blatantly selfish. Thanks for telling me.” *To me* “That was [Coworker’s Supervisor]. [Coworker] just called in sick. I’m sceptical.”

[Coworker] stayed home for quite some time, claiming burnout. Meanwhile, I kept performing the task myself. By April, someone from a different location was transferred to our office and learned the task from me… only to get a transfer again by June. Finally, after summer, I trained a more motivated coworker for the task. By then, [Coworker] was reintegrating, while showing a complete lack of motivation.

By the end of the year, I had put in my notice, not because of this weird history, but simply because I found a better-paying job with more career opportunities. [Coworker], meanwhile, was still there, doing his job to some extent, while being disliked by virtually everybody now. So much for his claims that he would leave as soon as possible. Being dissatisfied is one thing; digging your own grave because of it is another.

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