(An order comes to my pharmacy for a well-known antibiotic. This antibiotic is known to smell exactly like rotten eggs, so most of us just hold our breath while we count it and try not to think about it too much. We dispense it to a woman who is picking it up for her teenage son. Everything is normal and she leaves with the prescription, but about 10 minutes later she comes stomping back into the pharmacy, pretty much shoves the person that I am currently helping out of the way, and throws the bottle of medication on the counter.)
Customer: “I want to speak to your manager right now! You guys gave me rotten medication!”
Me: “Really? Let me look at the expiration date on your bottle. Normally we don’t keep anything that has one less than a year away.”
(I look at the bottle and see that the pharmacist wrote a date of over a year away, and I go over to our stock bottle and check and the numbers correspond with each other.)
Me: “Hmm. Well, ma’am, it doesn’t look like this medication is expired but I will have the phar—”
Customer: “You are just lying! I mean, come on and open that bottle! It smells totally rotten! I can’t believe that you would ever give someone bad medication! My son is very very ill!”
Me: “Oh, that’s just because the active chemical that is in this medication has a bad smell. Trust me, I wish there was something that we could do about it back here, too. Most of us hold our breath while we count it.”
Customer: “Stop ****** lying to me. You just don’t want to admit you did something wrong! I will have your job for this, b****!
(At this point the pharmacist who has been listening the whole time walks over.)
Pharmacist: “Ma’am, while I don’t like the fact that you are calling my staff names like that I will let you know two things. One is, certain chemicals have a bad smell. It’s just a fact of life. So, while I know that smell is unpleasant, it’s just one of those side effects that come with being able to take medications that will help your sick son. I assure you it’s supposed to smell that bad. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t work right. Two, since you don’t seem to want to listen to my employees and call them awful names, this will be the last time that you or any members of your family can shop or fill any type of medication here. Maybe in the future you can learn how to treat people the way you want to be treated.”
(The woman proceeded to turn bright red with embarrassment and tried to apologize, but my boss wouldn’t hear it. That was almost two years ago and he still will not allow her or her family to fill their prescriptions at his pharmacy.)
Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Reception, USA, Vet | Healthy | March 9, 2018
(I come home to find that one of my pet snake’s eyes appears to be injured in some way. Since this is my first pet reptile, and I am not sure if this is something that needs immediate attention, I call the veterinary hospital of a very prestigious vet school nearby. Since it’s relatively late in the day, all the vets have left, but there are receptionists on call 24 hours a day.)
Receptionist: “Hi, you’ve called [Vet Hospital]. How can I help you?”
Bosses & Owners, California, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Jerk, Los Angeles, Office, USA | Healthy | March 8, 2018
(I work Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. My daughter has been having some health issues and recently started having grand mal seizures which require the school to call me to come pick her up. All my coworkers know this. My boss is trying to cover some shifts and asks me
Boss: “Can you cover some of the Monday, Wednesday, and Friday shifts?”
Me: “Sorry, I don’t think that’s a good idea. My daughter has been having seizures; she had to be picked up Thursday and Friday last week.”
Boss: “So, Friday is the only day you can’t work?”
Me: “No, I don’t have an emergency person to pick her up Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”
Boss: “So, she’s scheduled to have seizures on every Thursday and Friday?”
Me: “No. We don’t schedule her seizures.”
Boss: “Well, can you schedule them, then? We really need these shifts covered.”
Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Psychiatrist, South Carolina, USA | Healthy | March 7, 2018
(I have severe ADD and take Ritalin. I have been seeing a psychiatrist every six months for over a decade because it’s necessary to keep my prescription up, but normally we don’t do anything else. He asks me if I’m having side effects, I say no, he asks how school, work, or whatever is going, I tell him, he writes me a new prescription, and we’re done.)
Doctor: “And how are your classes going?”
Me: “Pretty well, except for this one lab where the whole grade is based on group work and my groupmates have disappeared…”
(I’m very frustrated with my classmates, and as I explain the problem with the lab, I start crying.)
Doctor: “Here, take these tissues! I had no idea you were so depressed. I’m going to prescribe you some medicine, and I want you to come back in a week for a follow-up.”
Me: “What? No, I’m just sleep-deprived! Your office is an hour from my house, and you get behind schedule so fast that my mom insists I book an appointment at seven am. I had to get up at 5:30 to be here! I’m a night owl; I get up at 10 or 11 if I don’t have anything I have to do earlier. I always cry too easily when I’m tired.”
(He doesn’t believe me and prescribes the medication, anyway. A week later, I’m back in his office.)
Doctor: “How are you feeling? If we need to, we can adjust the dosage before your next follow-up next week.”
Me: “Fine, like I was before, when I had slept. I know antidepressants take a while to kick in, but I don’t think these are ever going to affect me, because I’m not depressed. And I really can’t afford to keep experimenting with them; you know I don’t have insurance.”
Doctor: “I tried to find the cheapest antidepressants I could. I thought these were only about $10 a bottle.”
Me: “Come here. I want to tell you a secret.”
(He comes closer.)
Me: “You know those nice ladies behind the window in your lobby? They make people give them money before we can talk to you.”
(It had never occurred to him that visiting a psychiatrist every week instead of every six months might be a little pricey! I went off the antidepressants and am fine, as long as I don’t have to get up before dawn. Doctors, I know that lots of people really are depressed and it’s a serious problem, but people also know their own bodies, minds, and situations. It helps to listen.)
Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | March 6, 2018
(I work as a veterinary technician. We are preparing to perform a blood draw on a dog to test for a specific disease that affects the production of hormones from the adrenal glands. The dog in question is not neutered and is likely used as a show dog.)
Owner: “So, this disease you’re testing for, is it hereditary?”
Me: “Yes, the factors that cause this disease can be passed on in a dog’s genes.”
Owner: “So, like… If he tests positive, would you recommend not breeding him?”
Me: “If he does test positive, then we don’t recommend that you breed him, as there is a chance he could pass the gene onto his offspring.”
Owner: “But it’s only a recommendation, right? I could still breed him, regardless of the results?”
Me: “Sir, as a medical professional, it’s a very, very strong recommendation that you should not breed a dog if it is certain that he has a specific hereditary disease. There is a very high chance he would produce more dogs predisposed to developing the disease. It would also ruin your reputation as a breeder if you did this knowingly. So, let’s just hope he comes back negative.”
(The owner seemed satisfied with the answer, but it troubles me that he was still considering breeding the dog if the test came back positive.)
Doctor/Physician, Hong Kong, Language & Words, LGBTQ, Medical Office | Healthy | March 4, 2018
(I am a foreign college student and I need to see a gynecologist for the first time. I also need to fill out a medical information form that’s all in Chinese.)
Receptionist: “Can you read Chinese?”
Me: “The basics, but I have trouble with medical vocab.”
Receptionist: “Okay, start filling what you can and come back when there’s no line.”
(I do so and the receptionist translates while I answer.)
Receptionist: “Okay, this says, ‘Are you sexually active?’”
Me: *circles yes*
Receptionist: “Okay, and this says, ‘What protection do you use? Check all applicable.’”
Me: “Okay, does it say, ‘dental dam,’ somewhere?”
Receptionist: “Huh?”
Me: “Um… for oral protection.”
Receptionist: “This is asking what you do to not get pregnant.”
Me: “So, it’s ‘contraceptive, ’ not ‘protection’?”
Receptionist: “Same thing.”
Me: “No… It isn’t. Okay, where does it ask for the gender of my partner?”
Receptionist: “Gender?”
Me: “Yes. I’m sexually active with women, not men.”
Receptionist: *long pause, looks around as if for help* “Then you put, ‘No,’ for sexually active and skip these questions.”
Me: “Don’t you care about me getting STDs?”
Receptionist: “Huh?”
Me: “It means I can still get STDs, as I’m sexually active, but you want me to put, ‘No,’ for being sexually active.”
Receptionist: *blank stare* “Uh. Let me talk to the doctor.”
(I am not called back for a while, and when I am, it’s for the actual appointment.)
Doctor: “I’m sorry about the form. We never get people like you. Let’s continue.” *hands form back to me*
(I noticed next to the line asking about being sexually active, “lesbian” was written in, in English. She helped me fill the rest of the form, adding — in English — the details it didn’t support, with no further issues.)
(I work at a call centre for a German online pharmacy. Unlike other pharmacies, we allow customers to pre-order medicines which requires prescriptions. It should go without saying, but we’re not allowed to ship orders that contain a prescription, until the original is sent to us by a postal service. There are also no shipping costs for our customer, if there is a prescription.)
Me: “Your [Pharmacy]. You are speaking with [My Name].”
Customer: “I placed an order last week at your store and it still hasn’t arrived. Where is it?”
Me: “Oh, that doesn’t sound so good. Could you please tell me your order number?”
(The customer doesn’t have it, so I search for her by name. It takes me a while to find her, as she has a very common name and doesn’t want to give me her postal code.)
Me: “Ah, there we have you. I’m afraid your prescription for [Medicine] hasn’t arrived yet.”
Customer: “This is outrageous! I do not need a prescription for that order! Send them to me at once!”
(I try to stay cool.)
Me: “Ma’am, [Medicine] requires a prescription, by law. We cannot deliver this order until we have the original prescription.”
Customer: “Then you should at least have told me so!”
Me: “Our online store has classified this item as one that requires a prescription. You have also received an order confirmation that asks you for your prescription.”
Customer: “No, I never received a confirmation, so don’t dare lie to me!”
Me: “Uh… Ma’am, I do not understand; you received the confirmation on [date and time].”
Customer: “No, I never did; I’ll show you!”
(I can hear her typing and the sound of a mail program opening. She waits for a moment, and then she starts mumbling to herself.)
Customer: “’Dear Mrs. [Name], thank you for your order. Please send us your your original prescription by mail, so we can continue with that order.’”
(The customer wheezes angrily.)
Customer: “This is way too complicated with your store! Other pharmacies will send them to me immediately!”
Me: “Ma’am, even other pharmacies have to wait for your prescription, as [Medicine] requires one.”
Customer: “I will never order at your store ever again! I’ve never been insulted this badly in my entire life!”
(The customer called the next day. She made a new order
Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pets & Animals, UK, Vet | Healthy | April 4, 2018
(I am the receptionist of a local vet. We have had a woman come in saying her cat is no longer pooping. We do a check, and the cat doesn’t appear to be uncomfortable, and we can’t feel anything which would indicate a blockage. The woman is insistent that we do an ultrasound, however, and after she pays the fee, she leaves her cat with us, and we give her instructions to call us the next morning.)
Woman: “I’m calling about my cat, [Cat].”
Me: “Yes, I’ll just get the vet. He’s asked to speak to you directly.”
(I hear her sobbing hysterically as I put her on hold. Our lead vet comes out and takes the call.)
Vet: “Mrs. [Woman].”
Woman: *mumbles*
Vet: “Your cat is absolutely fine. We couldn’t find anything wrong.”
Woman: *mumbles*
Vet: “Yes, it is a mystery. However, I wonder if you could tell me: do you own a cat flap by any chance?”
Woman: *shouting* “Yes. Why?”
Vet: “Is there a chance [Cat] could be doing her business outside?”
Woman: *mumbles*
Vet: “Would you mind checking your garage, then, please?”
Woman: *mumbles*
Vet: “And is the cat door locked?”
Woman: *mumbles*
Vet: “Yes, I know you said no one can get in, but if the flap isn’t locked, there is a chance [Cat] could be doing her business in there.”
Woman: *mumbles and then shouts* “OH, MY GOD! THERE’S S*** EVERYWHERE!”
Vet: “Thank you, Mrs. [Woman]. I’ll see you soon.” *hangs up*
Bizarre, Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, St Louis, USA | Healthy | April 3, 2018
(I have been diagnosed with uterine cancer, and am scheduled to have a complete hysterectomy. Unfortunately, two days before the surgery, I have emergency hernia surgery. I tell the doctor performing the hernia surgery about the cancer. When I go in for my first follow-up, he says that everything is looking good.)
Doctor: “While I was in there, I reached down and felt your uterus; it really is enlarged.”
Me: “Uh… Thanks, that’s interesting.”
(As I’m leaving, the full import of what he said finally hits. My hernia incision is above my belly button, and he REACHED DOWN INSIDE ME, and felt my uterus. I later tell a nurse about this, and her response?)
Nurse: “Surgeons are a curious lot.”
(The hysterectomy went well, and I am now cancer-free.)
Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, England, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, UK | Healthy | April 3, 2018
(I’ve suffered from cold sores for about six years, and normally I only get two or three a year. Over the last six months, I have had them repeatedly, one after the other, so I decide to go to my doctor. I make an appointment, but I have to wait three weeks for it — this is a pretty normal wait time for an appointment in my area.)
Me: “I read on the NHS website that if cold sores get this bad and persistent, there’s a medication that can help to treat it.”
Doctor #1 : “Why do you think you need a prescription medicine? That’s pretty drastic.”
Me: “I’ve had non-stop cold sores for six months, and that isn’t normal. The creams from the pharmacy aren’t working.”
Doctor #1 : “Yes, but lots of things cause cold sores. Sunlight, poor diet, being on your period.”
Me: “Well, I haven’t been on my period for six straight months! My diet hasn’t changed, and it’s winter, so I haven’t been in the sun.”
Doctor #1 : “It could be a response to an infection. I’ll send you for a blood test, but I don’t want to give you tablets for something so minor.”
(It takes a week to get the paperwork for the blood test — it has to be done at the hospital — a week for me to be able to get my blood tested, and another week before the results come back. I then have to wait another two weeks to see my doctor to discuss the results.)
Doctor #1 : “Your tests showed elevated white blood cells, which is a sign of infection. But I think it’s a false positive, so I’ll send you for another blood test.”
Me: “What makes you think it’s false? You said it could be an infection.”
Doctor #1 : “Well, I think you did have an infection, but it’s gone now. I’ll send you for another one and compare the results.”
(Cue ANOTHER TWO weeks of waiting for the blood test and test results.)
Receptionist: “The doctor says your blood test came back normal and he doesn’t need to see you. He says there’s nothing he can do.”
Me: “What?! That’s not right! He hasn’t done anything!”
Receptionist: *quietly speaking to me* “I recommend you see another doctor. They can look at your results and you can get a second opinion.”
(I have to wait ANOTHER THREE weeks to see a second doctor, so by this time it’s been more than eight months of cold sores.)
Doctor #2 : “”You’ve had cold sores for EIGHT MONTHS?!”
Me: “It’s been Hell; I’ve had either a sore, a scab, or a scar on my face this whole time. The creams aren’t working, I’ve tried every home remedy on Google, and I don’t know what else to do.”
Doctor #2 : “It could be a sign of something serious, but it could be nothing. Let’s have a look at your test results… Are you taking iron?”
Me: “No, why?”
Doctor #2 : “Didn’t the other doctor say anything about your iron levels?!”
Me: “He said my blood was normal.”
Doctor #2 : “It’s most certainly not normal! You have extremely low iron levels, in both sets of results. There’s a proven link between low iron and mouth sores. You just need to take an iron supplement. And I’ll give you a prescription for the cold sores, so they’ll clear up in a week or less. Your white blood cell count is still up, so I think you may need antibiotics, too.”
(Since I’ve been taking iron, I hardly have cold sores at all. And my infection cleared up, but the doctor said if it hadn’t, it could have developed into sepsis, which can be fatal. Now, whenever I make a doctor’s appointment I specifically say, “Any doctor other than [Doctor #1 ],” and from what the receptionist has since told me, lots of patients do the same.)
Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Texas, USA, Vet | Healthy | April 2, 2018
(We are in a mostly rural area. A client has brought in her new dog, a recent adoption from the shelter. The client is a middle-aged, very traditional, southern woman. The doctor is from New England and has found that pretending to be just a dumb Yankee that doesn’t know how things work in Texas is an effective method of calming angry clients.)
Owner: “I’m very disappointed at the shelter; they promised he was already fixed, but I can see that he is not. If you don’t get dogs fixed, they get aggressive and can attack.”
(The vet starts his exam.)
Vet: “His scrotum is empty and there is a surgical scar here; this dog has been castrated.”
Owner: “Well, that’s nice and all, but I’m here to talk about getting him fixed.”
Vet: “Um, he has been fixed.”
Owner: “No, he hasn’t; just look at him!”
Vet: “I did; he has no testicles.”
Owner: “Why are you so focused on his manhood?! That has nothing to do with being fixed!”
Vet: “What does being fixed mean to you?”
Owner: “YOU ARE A VET! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT GETTING A DOG FIXED MEANS?!”
Vet: “Ma’am, clearly there has been a misunderstanding, because where I grew up, getting the dog fixed is a euphemism for castration. Clearly that is not the case here, so please, explain what that phrase means in Texas.”
Owner: “It’s where they do a surgery to remove the dog’s thumbs, because thumbs are what separates us from the animals. You have to get them removed so the dog knows it is just an animal. Honestly, you can see his thumbs from here.” *gestures at the dog’s dewclaws*
(The doctor had to excuse himself from the exam room to laugh. He sent in the techs, and after 15 minutes they finally convinced her that she was misinformed. Apparently, when the owner was a young child she was told that definition of the phrase by a parent that didn’t want to explain what castration was, and she never questioned it as she got older. The dog still has his dewclaws.)
Doctor/Physician, England, Jerk, Medical Office, UK | Healthy | March 30, 2018
(I go to the doctor due to being on my period for five weeks. The conversation is fairly routine; he asks if I’ve changed my diet and about what my period is normally like — he seems a bit freaked out when I say it is normally only two weeks — but overall it seems to be going well. He then asks if I could be pregnant.)
Me: “I can very safely say I’m not pregnant.”
Doctor: “Oh? What contraception are you using?”
Me: “Asexuality.”
(Normally when I say that, the doctor just nods and continues with questions, or asks if I want to consider long-term birth control “as a precaution,” but otherwise just drops the subject. This guy lost it, ranting about proper birth control and about how I, a 25-year-old woman, “should know better by now.” No, I don’t know what he meant by that. I let him rant for a few minutes, and when he finally calmed down, I said, “It means I’m a virgin.” He blinked, apologised quietly, and gave me some pills for the actual reason I was there. I left after making a note of his name so I could make a complaint.)
England, Jerk, London, Medical Office, Patients, UK | Healthy | March 30, 2018
(My cousin is sitting in the reception area, waiting for his appointment with the doctor, when a gentleman who is also waiting suddenly has a heart attack. The receptionist screams for help, all the doctors come running, and while they are busy administering CPR, the receptionist calls for an ambulance. The receptionist then prepares to go outside, to guide the paramedics to the right location when they arrive. My cousin, along with all the other patients in the waiting area, keep out of the way to allow the doctors to work on the gentleman… all except one patient, who arrived in the midst of all the chaos, hasn’t registered what is going on — or simply doesn’t care — and is therefore standing at the reception desk, huffing in indignation.)
Patient: “Well, really! Where do you think you’re going? I have an appointment! And I’m in a hurry, so I expect to be seen on time.”
Receptionist: *looks pointedly down at the floor, where the doctors were still administering CPR* “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m afraid all the doctors are a bit busy right now, TRYING TO SAVE THIS GENTLEMAN’S LIFE!”
Hospital, Jerk, Strangers, USA, Utah | Healthy | March 28, 2018
(One evening, as I am working, I end up standing up and smacking my head against a shelf, leading to a head wound that starts bleeding rather profusely. I clean up a bit and get an old rag to hold over the injury. My manager gets one of my co-workers to drive me over to the ER to get checked out. We arrive, and start to get checked in, when an old man speaks up behind me.)
Old Man: “F****** kid, bumped his head and trying to get attention. Go home, you p****! There are people that actually need to be here!”
(I turned, because I was not quite sure if he was talking to me, revealing the side of my face that had a few streaks of blood down it that I hadn’t managed to clean up. Right as I turned, a new line of blood leaked out and rolled down the side of my face, as well. The old man jumped and actually half-slid out of his seat, before standing up and scurrying over to a chair across the waiting area from where I was. I got checked in, and they confirmed that it was just a typical head wound, no concussion or internal bleeding. As I left, I spotted the old man being let in, and he turned away, beet red. Maybe he’ll learn to not be so quick to judge.)
Extra Stupid, Friends, home, USA | Healthy | March 25, 2018
(I just got into a pretty bad car crash. I refuse medical assistance because, well, that’s expensive. I call my boyfriend to help me, and he brings his buddy who always brags about being an ex-Marine medic. In my shock, I keep insisting we go to the home of a friend whose cats I am taking care of, saying that we can’t let them starve. We get there. I’m bleeding everywhere, my face is swelling, and my hand is turning blue for some reason.)
Boyfriend: “I’ll feed the cats. You just sit down. Wait. You need ice. I’ll get ice!”
Buddy: “You need to clean out these cuts. Does your friend have rubbing alcohol?”
Me: “I don’t know. She’s got three bathrooms in this place. Look around.”
(They run around like headless chickens for a minute.)
Buddy: “I don’t see any.”
Me: “There is a store up the road.”
(He disappears and comes back five minutes later, holding a vodka bottle.)
Buddy: “They didn’t have rubbing alcohol. I got this!”
Me: “Where did you go?”
Buddy: “The gas station.”
Me: “And you didn’t notice the drug store on the other corner?! Give me that.” *I take a big swig straight from the bottle* “It will do, but I’m never calling you for rescue again.”
Boyfriend: “What about me?”
Me: “Are the cats fed?”
Boyfriend: “Yes.”
Me: “I’ll call you; just don’t bring him with.”
(And yes, I did clean out my wounds with vodka, because the buddy didn’t want to go out again, and my boyfriend was afraid I would get up the in-shock energy to kill said buddy if we were left alone together. Good times.)
British Columbia, Canada, Extra Stupid, Jerk, Medical Office, Patients, Vancouver | Healthy | March 24, 2018
(I’m a patient sitting in the waiting room of a walk-in clinic. Although I try not to, I overhear the following conversation, as the patient is being extremely loud.)
Patient: “I want to see [Doctor].”
Receptionist: “I’ll see if I can get her for you, but if it’s urgent, we try to send patients in to doctors as they become available, and [Doctor] will be off the clock in twenty minutes. You’ll probably be waiting longer than that.”
Patient: “My friend told me [Doctor] is the best one, and I came on a Thursday because he said she works on Thursdays!”
Receptionist: “I’m sorry you were inconvenienced, ma’am. In future, if it’s urgent, please come in right away. All our doctors are fully qualified to help you.”
Patient: “Well, what about next Thursday? Will she be in, then?”
Receptionist: “Again, if you come late in the day, she may not be able to help you.”
Patient: “I can’t come any earlier! I’m at work until five, and I’m sure as hell not going to take time off if you can’t guarantee that I’ll even get to see the right doctor! This is absolutely ridiculous! I’m coming in next Thursday at 5:30, and I expect to see [Doctor]!”
Receptionist: “Ma’am, it doesn’t work like that.”
Patient: “Well, why the hell not?!”
Receptionist: “Because asking to see a specific doctor at a specific time is called an appointment, and this is a walk-in clinic.”
Patient: *glares at the receptionist, crumples up her sign-in sheet, and stalks out the door*
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