A Stamp Of Disapproval

Pharmacy | Peachtree City, GA, USA | Right | August 20, 2016


(I work for a very large pharmacy/convenience store that has a very specific return policy. If it’s an item of our brand, it can be returned no matter what: empty, destroyed, no receipt, anything. However, it’s returned and you’re given a ”money card,” which can be used on anything in-store except for prescriptions and cigarettes. A woman from the neighborhood knows this and this occurs almost daily. Today is my last day working.)

Me: *currently restocking the candy in front of my till when I hear a loud cough and see the customer standing three spaces away waiting* “Ma’am, may I help you?”

Lady: “About f****** time. I have a return. I demand you help me now!”

Me: *I walk back to my till, grabbing her items on the way, and start the return by scanning her receipt, noting that she paid with food stamps for her purchase* “Okay, this shouldn’t be an issue. Do you have the food stamp card used? I just need to scan it to reimburse you.”

Lady: “It’s not a food stamp card, you assumptive piece of s***! It’s just for us folks who don’t have a rich daddy to pay for s***. And no, I don’t have it with me.”

(She proceeds to grab the receipt from me.)

Lady: “Just give me one of those d*** cards, okay? God, you take forever.”

(I cancel out the return and begin a return without receipt, which requires my manager to okay that I am activating the card.)

Me: “Okay, this should be just fine; just give me one moment to get my manager to activate the card.”

Lady: “Of course. Hurry up; I don’t have all day, Princess.”

(At this point, I’ve had to deal with her so many times that I am almost joyfully taking my time. I knock on my manager’s office and let him know who it is and what’s going on.)

Manager: “Ma’am, this will just take me a quick moment. Can I ask why you’re returning this?”

Lady: “It’s f****** disgusting. All your products are. Just give me my card finally.”

(My manager tells her how to use the card and gives it to her with a printed balance.)

Lady: “I’m just going to use it now, you f****** idiot. Princess, can you finally get off your fat a** and get me a carton of [Cigarette Brand] and two lighters?”

Manager: “Ma’am, I have already told you that you cannot buy cigarettes with this card.”

Lady: “I don’t care! Bad enough you can’t give me my money back. Let me get my f****** cigarettes.”

(At this point, I’m completely shocked. Usually, telling her gets her to go to a different store.)

Manager: *speaking to me* “Did her original receipt show food stamps again?”

Lady: “THEY ARE NOT STAMPS!”

Me: “Yes.”

(At this point, my manager asks for the card so he can “fix the issue” and hands it to me.)

Manager: “Can you please dispose of this for me? As for you, ma’am, I demand you leave. This is the fifth time you’ve tried to get cigarettes with food stamps and I cannot take this.”

Lady: *completely irate* “No! I demand my god-d*** f****** cigarettes, you f****** c***!”

(Knowing this is my last day, I look at her completely stone faced and snap the card in half.)

Me: “You need to leave. Now.”

(She later came back that day with a police officer, claiming that we stole from her. My manager took the officer into the room, explained the situation, and showed him both the returned product and the snapped card. She was arrested for food stamp fraud.)

Manager: “You can go home early today. When you’re at college, do something not to end up here.”

I’m Suda-Fed Up

Pharmacy | MT, USA | Right | August 12, 2016


(A customer comes up to me with two packages of a popular over-the-counter drug brand; one is for treating cold symptoms and one is a sleep aid only.)

Customer: “I’m not sure which one to get.”

Me: *pointing to the orange box* “Well, this one treats symptoms of a minor cold, like stuffy nose and chest congestion, and this one—” *pointing to the blue box* “—is a sleep aid.”

Customer: “Which one should I get?”

Me: “Do you have a cold or do you need help falling asleep?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Can you put them behind your back and mix them up, then I’ll just pick a hand and go with it.”

Me: “It might just be better to choose the one that fits your symptoms.”

Customer: *pushing the boxes at me* “No, this will be fine. Just mix them up behind your back, and I’ll pick one.”

Me: “Um, okay.” *dutifully puts the boxes behind my back and switches hands*

(The customer picks the hand that was holding the sleep aid.)

Customer: “Great! This is perfect. THANKS!”

Me: “You’re welcome?”

Refuses To Shift The Blame

Pharmacy, Retail | AL, USA | Working | August 8, 2016


(We recently get a new scheduling manager that is horrible about communicating with everyone and often changes the schedule at the drop of a hat. Leading up the Black Friday, I’ve been checking the upcoming schedule multiple times every day to insure I am off both Thanksgiving and Black Friday and I indeed am. I even call on Thanksgiving to insure that I am off on Black Friday and again it is confirmed. While out with my family I get a call from the scheduling manager.)

Me: “Hello?”

Scheduling Manager: “[My Name], where are you?”

Me: “With my family.”

Scheduling Manager: “You’re supposed to be here!”

Me: “No, I’m not. I checked all last week and everyday and even called yesterday to make sure, [Scheduling Manager]. My name was not down.”

Scheduling Manager: “Well, you need to come in.”

Me: “No.” *hangs up*

Scheduling Manager: *calls me a few more times which I ignore then texts me* “Please, you need to come in. I’m sorry for the confusion. I’ll have to work a 13-hour shift if you don’t.”

Me: *texts back* “I am not coming in. I was not on the schedule for today. Stop texting me.”

Scheduling Manager: *texts* “Please!”

Me: *texts* “No.” *turns off phone*

(I turned my phone back on after I got back home. I had numerous messages from her. I complained to the manager above her who said she would sort it out. The scheduling manager left two months later.)

Should Keep Their Hopes Low About Getting High

Pharmacy | UK | Right | August 1, 2016


(I’m working the Sunday shift on my own at the counter, when three young boys in their teens walk in.)

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you today?”

Customer #1 : “We’re looking for some salvia.”

Me: “Excuse me… what? Could you repeat that?”

Customer #1 : “Salvia.”

Me: *having never heard of this* “I… I’m not sure…”

Customer #2 : “SALVIA, you dumb b****! SAL-VEEEE-AAAA!”

Me: “What is it used for?”

Customer #1 : *sighs* “I thought you were meant to know all about this stuff? It’s a drug, to get you high, like weed or heroin and stuff.”

Me: “…”

Customer #2 : “It’s legal. They haven’t banned it yet!”

Me: “We… we don’t sell recreational drugs here.”

Customer #3 : “Well, then, where the h*** are we meant to get it?”

Me: “You could try your local dealer…”

(To this day I still don’t know what possessed them into thinking that a pharmacy would sell recreational drugs!)

Throw In Some Stress Pills While You’re At It

Pharmacy | USA | Working | July 17, 2016


(I go to a podiatrist because I have a fungal infection, and he wrote me a prescription for some pills and says that he will send it to the pharmacy. I go to the pharmacy for the medicine.)

Me: “Hello, I’m here to pick up this prescription?”

Clerk: “Okay.”

Me: “Here it is.”

(I hand what the doctor gave me over. It has the pharmacy name and address, and the doctor’s name and address. She frowns and squints at it, looks at the computer, and frowns again.)

Clerk: “This is your doctor?”

Me: “Yes, Dr. [Name].”

Clerk: “Okay…”

(She gives me a narrow-eyed suspicious look and leaves. I figure that she went to give it to the pharmacist to fill. I wait a minute, and then ask again.)

Me: “Hello, I’m trying to pick up my prescription?”

Same Clerk: “Name?”

Me: “Name.”

(She goes and gets it, but doesn’t hand it over.)

Same Clerk: “ID?”

Me: *gives it*

Same Clerk: “Address?”

Me: *gives it*

Same Clerk: *scowls suspiciously, frowning at computer*

(At this point, I’m getting annoyed. It’s been over 15 minutes.)

Me: “It’s me! That’s my prescription!”

Same Clerk: “Well… okaaay.”

(She hands it over, along with my ID, still unsure. Not all of us are drug abusers, lady.)

A Cent-less Complaint

Pharmacy | NJ, USA | Right | July 17, 2016


Me: “Ma’am, your copay for your prescription is five cents.”

Customer: “You selfish little c***! My copay should be zero! Does it look like I have that kind of money on me!?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a nickel. I think you can find one in the cup holder of your car. I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you your prescription without it being paid for.”

Customer: “Well f*** you and this f****** store! I’m calling your management!”

(Two hours later.)

Boss: “We had a complaint about you today. Care to explain?”

Me: “She couldn’t pay for her five cent prescription.”

Boss: *rolling eyes* “Go home.”

Hot-Blooded Versus Low-Blooded

Pharmacy | Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | July 15, 2016


(I am a pharmacy student currently working as a technician at a local pharmacy. A patient who is on a blood-pressure lowering medication is now starting a new lowered dose.)

Me: “Hi, Mr. [Patient]. I just wanted to make sure that you’re aware the doctor is changing the dose for your medication?”

Patient: “Yup, I was getting lightheaded and passing out from the medication.”

Me: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Well, hopefully this new dose works out better for you!”

Patient: “Yeah, so I was on top of my wife and then suddenly I blacked out and I fell on top of her, and it just really killed the mood, y’know? After that, the moment was just over

Not Tip-Toeing Around It

Pharmacy | MD, USA | Working | July 5, 2016


(I work at a pharmacy as a cashier. The pharmacist on duty has been working here for years and knows all of our regulars. A customer has a question for him so I forward it over to him without much of a thought.)

Pharmacist: “All right, we’ll try that. Cross your fingers and toes!” *pause* “Okay, it worked. Have a good day!”

(He hangs up the phone and bursts out laughing.)

Pharmacist: “Well, I feel like an a** right now.”

Me: “What happened?”

Pharmacist: “Mrs. [Name]? The one I just got off the phone with? I told her to cross her fingers and toes and she doesn’t have legs.”

I Prescribe Some Patience

Pharmacy | Sweden | Right | June 29, 2016


Customer: “I’d like to fill a prescription but I also wanted to ask about this medicine.” *puts two boxes of OTC painkillers on the counter* “Can I use this for my migraine?”

(I start by asking her various questions about the migraine to see whether she should get something OTC or if she should see a doctor. I also ask about contraindications for the particular drug. From the answers I get I explain to her that the drug she chose on the shelf is not suitable for her and I go to the shelf to get a different medicine. All in all this has not taken more than a few minutes, and going to the shelf and back a maximum of 15 seconds. As I return she’s really upset with me and snaps.)

Customer: “How come you got so preoccupied with this? I told you I was here to fill a prescription!”

“Birth” Defect

Pharmacy | Canada | Right | June 22, 2016


Customer: “Where do you keep your ‘birth checkers’?”

Me: “If by ‘birth checkers’ you actually mean our pregnancy tests… aisle eight, right-hand side, top shelf.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you know if an ultrasound can tell if the baby is white or black?”

Me: “…”

Too Much Meth, Not Enough Math

Pharmacy | NY, USA | Right | June 10, 2016


Me: “Okay, just so you know, sir, a three-month supply of this medication is going to cost you about $400.”

Customer: “What?! No. You’re wrong. When I picked it up last it was a third of that!”

(I look up his payment and pick up history in the system.)

Me: “It looks like this new prescription is the same medication as the last but you’re allowed to pick up three months at a time instead of just one. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes! But it’s never this expensive!”

Me: “Well, you’re picking up more at one time which is why it is a higher cost.”

Customer: “No! You’re wrong. It’s not supposed to be this expensive!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t set the prices. Your insurance company tells us what to charge you based on your plan.”

(This commences a 10 minute rant about how this medication is too expensive and he KNOWS he shouldn’t owe this much because he has been in the industry for 20 years and has a PhD.)

Customer: “When I picked it up last month it was only $133! It shouldn’t be $400!”

Me: “So… you previously picked up a one month supply for $133? And you’re upset because this three-month supply is three times the cost of the one-month supply?”

Customer: “YES!”

(Sadly this man did not see the math and proceeded to stay for the next 45 minutes and tell me exactly what was wrong with the entire industry and why it was my fault. Unfortunately, I have more stories about this guy from this 45 minute encounter alone.)

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 8

Pharmacy | Lebanon, PA, USA | Right | June 8, 2016


Customer: “Excuse me; can I use this coupon here?”

(The coupon looks like a standard buy-one-get-one coupon, and I see that she has some of the items depicted.)

Me: “Yes, you should be able to!”

(I ring up the items, but end up having trouble with the coupon.)

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry; I didn’t look at the coupon closely. You need to buy two [Brand] items to get these items free.”

Customer: “But I did buy them!”

Me: “Were they on the counter? I don’t think I rang any up…”

Customer: “No, I bought them at [Store next door].”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I have the receipt; I can show you that I’m not lying…”

Me: “No, no, that’s not… To use the coupon, you usually have to buy them in the same purchase… at the same store.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I don’t think the coupon says that.”

Me: “I don’t think they felt it needed to…”

Puntassium

Pharmacy | Chicago, IL, USA | Working | June 1, 2016


Customer: “Do you sell potassium over the counter?”

Me: “Nope. Sorry. It’s by prescription only.”

Customer: “You sell all of these vitamins, but no potassium; Unbelievable!”

Me: “Yeah. I know. It’s bananas!”

Obama-Careless, Part 3

Pharmacy | FL, USA | Right | May 30, 2016


(I work in a pharmacy where I hear about how awful the new healthcare laws are at least four times a day. I personally have Marketplace coverage and keep my mouth shut all the time, but this one is too stupid to overlook:)

Customer: “I need refills on my medication.”

Me: “Okay, let me look it up… I’m sorry, sir, you have no refills left. I can fax the doctor to ask for more.”

Customer: *stares at me like I just committed murder* “See! This is that d*** Obamacare! I need my medication!”

Me: *in the calmest voice possible* “Sir, do you understand how pharmacy works? You used all your refills already. If you would like I can try to call the White House and see if President Obama can authorize a new prescription.”

(I pick up the phone and call information and ask to be connected to the White House.)

Customer: “Don’t be rude to me! You’re obviously an Obama lover.”

Me: “No, I just wanted you to see how uneducated and ridiculous you sound. By the way Obama is not in the office right now so you’ll have to wait on those refills. Have a great day!”

(I walked away.)

You’ll Have The Devil To Pay, Part 2

Pharmacy | PA, USA | Working | May 24, 2016


(I am at a local pharmacy.)

Cashier: *ringing me up* “Okay, ma’am, your total today comes to—” *pauses a moment and looks like a deer in the headlights* “$6.66…”

(I calmly gets my money to pay and the cashier finishes bagging my items, still looking like a deer in the headlights. Finally my receipt is being printed out.)

Cashier: “Do you, uh, want your receipt?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

Cashier: *takes receipt and crumples it into a ball and TOSSES it onto the counter* “Here you go.”

Me: *shocked* “Uh, thanks…” *takes receipt and straightens it out*

Cashier: “Don’t let the Devil get you!”

That’s One For The Books

Pharmacy | AB, Canada | Working | May 23, 2016


Me: “Can I get a book of stamps, please?”

(The clerk opens the drawer under the counter where they keep the stamps. She takes out a book of stamps…and another…and another…and another until every book of stamps in the drawer is on the counter.)

Clerk: “These are all we have. Is this enough for a whole book?”

Maybe You Didn’t Say What You Thought You Said

Pharmacy | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | May 17, 2016


(We have a lot of multicultural customers come into our store and as I love languages I like to ask about their accents and learn a phrase or two if I can. A young woman and her elderly mother have been talking in another language before coming to my register.)

Me: “Hi there, did you find everything okay? And do you mind me asking what language that was?”

Daughter: “It’s a dialect of Italian.”

Me: “How would I say ‘have a nice day’?”

Mother: “Fi una bella giornata.”

(As I hand them their purchases.)

Me: “Well, then, fi una bella giornata!”

Daughter: “Very good!”

(The mother then says something in Italian before slapping me in the rear.)

Mother: “Maybe I find you boyfriend!”

Could Have Survived That Better

Pharmacy | Tampa, FL, USA | Working | April 30, 2016


(I work with a small mom and pop pharmacy for several years. Due to budget cuts it is necessary to layoff an employee. After discussing our options the owner decides to fire a technician who, though friendly, is relatively lazy. This is when Survivor first debuted.)

Boss: “So, [Coworker], you’ve been voted off the island.”

Coworker: “…”

Me: “…”

Doesn’t Have The Drive To Study Geography

Pharmacy | WV, USA | Right | April 21, 2016


(As I ring up a customer’s purchases, she gets chatty.)

Customer: “My neighbor is from Puerto Rico.”

Me: “That’s neat!”

Customer: “Yeah. Have you ever been to Puerto Rico?”

Me: “No, I haven’t. It would be nice to visit, though.”

Customer: “I think I’m going to try to go with them to visit sometime.”

Me: “That sounds fun.”

Customer: “How long do you think it takes to drive to Puerto Rico?”

Me: *thinking she’s kidding* “Oh, about as long as it takes to invent a floating car.”

Customer: “Oh. So, like, a long time?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Understands The Condom Minimum

Pharmacy | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Right | April 21, 2016


(Working in a busy pharmacy, a teenage boy and his girlfriend came up to the counter.)

Boy: “I’m looking for the condoms.” *smiling at his girlfriend, she’s looking embarrassed*

Me: “Aisle 10, right hand side.”

Boy: “Yeah, but you see, I need some extra-large condoms. The regular ones are way too small for me.” *smirking at his girlfriend*

Me: “Seriously?”

(I stand back, heave my leg up on the counter and point to it.)

Me: “See this ankle? I recently broke it, and had a cast on. I used regular-sized condoms on it to waterproof it when I had showers. If your penis is larger than this—” *pointing to my leg still up on the counter* “—then I seriously suggest you keep it away from her—” *pointing to girlfriend* “—as it’s going to do some serious damage!”

(Both boy and girlfriend walked away without saying another word.)

Trash-Talking Hits The Bottom Of The Barrel

Convenience Store, Pharmacy | Malden, MA, USA | Right | April 8, 2016


(I work in a city where the people have to buy city trash-bags that are expensive. We had to get rid of our trash barrel from outside the store because people started throwing away their home trash in it.)

Customer: *walking in with bag full of trash* “Do you have a barrel so I can throw away my trash?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we had to get rid of it.”

Customer: “Well, why?”

Me: “Because people started to bring their home trash to our store and leave it around our barrel because they didn’t want to buy city bags.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. Where am I supposed to throw away my trash?”

Me: “At home with your city bags?”

You’ve Got Me In A Box Here…

Pharmacy | Australia | Right | April 7, 2016


Customer: “Hi. I need some tablets. You know the one I got last time? I didn’t come here but it comes in a box.”

Me: “…”

I Can Hear You Dumb And Clear

Pharmacy | Du Quoin, IL, USA | Right | March 29, 2016


(I have just started working at my local pharmacy. It’s my first time answering the phone and I’m really nervous.)

Me: “Pharmacy, this is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “HELLO?? HELLLOOOO?”

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Caller: “HELLOOOOOOOOO. ”

Me: “Hello… ma’am?”

Caller: “CAAAAAN YOUUU HEEEAR MEEEE?”

Me: *holding phone away from my ear at this point* “Loud and clear, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh, good. I just wanted to make sure my phone was working.” *click*

Me: *stares at phone*

Drive-Thru Is Not Your Calling

Pharmacy | USA | Working | March 27, 2016


(At our store we have a voice over that is triggered when someone pulls up to the drive-thru. To stop it from repeating, you have to pick up the phone and press the drive-thru button. This button is next to the regular phone button.)

Me: *after hearing someone pull up at drive-thru* “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help— You know what? Never mind. I’m on my way.”

A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.
"What did you do that for?" the man asks.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"
The man says, "No, but my wife out in the car still does!"

A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes. So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

A miracle drug is one that has now the same price as last year.

A new drug for Yuppies: It doesn't give a false sense of security or relaxation -- it makes you enjoy being tense.

man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering.
The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we're looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you."

"Oh, that's no problem," said the man. "If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour."

"Show me," said the interviewer.

So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety - ribbed, flavoured, colored and everything before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking.

The interviewer said, "That's amazing, but I don't think we could employ someone who'd be womanizing all over the country."

"Excuse me!" exclaimed the man, "I'm a happily married man, not a womanizer!"

"Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?" asked the interviewer.

The man replied, "Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin?"

A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. The guy says "OK," and goes to the pharmacy to buy three Dramamine and three condoms.
Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he'll take it. Returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms.

The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise. Guy says, "OK," and goes back to the pharmacy and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.

Finally, the pharmacist asks, "Look, if it makes you sick, how come you keep doing it?"

A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
It changes their blood type

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"

The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."

The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"

The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."

A pharmacist looks out the front of the store and sees a woman holding a bottle jumping up and down in the parking lot. The pharmacist walks out to the parking lot and asks the woman whats the matter. She replies " I saw it said 'Shake Well' after I took it".

Customer gets a topical cream. Direction: apply locally two times a day.
Customer says to the pharmacist: "I can't apply locally, I'm going overseas."

A pharmacist is going over the directions on a prescription bottle with an elderly patient. "Be sure not to take this more often than every 4 hours," the pharmacist says. "Don't worry," replies the patient. "It takes me 4 hours to get the lid off".

A funeral procession is going up a steep hill on main street when the door of the hearst flys open and the coffin falls out then speeds down main street into a pharmacy and crashes into the counter. The lids pops open and the deceased says to the astonished pharmacist, "You got anything to stop this coffin ?"

A front end clerk in a pharmacy has just been admonished by the owner for missing too many sales. "I'm sorry" the boss says "But one more missed sale and your fired"
The next customer that comes in has a terrible cough and asks the problem clerk for help. Unable to recall where the cough remedies are, the nervous clerk points to a box of Ex-Lax and says "Here, buy this then go over to our cooler and take all of it with plenty of water".

The customer thanks him and obliges. Finishing his last glass of water, the customer exits the pharmacy. Once outside he stops, takes a few faltering steps, then hugs a telephone pole. The boss, having witnessed the entire scene, approaches the clerk and asks him what he recommended.

"Ex-Lax," says the clerk hesitantly.
"Ex-Lax !" yells the boss. "That won't help a cough!"
"Sure it does," says the clerk. "Look,.. he's afraid to cough."

Lady says to pharmacist: "Why does my prescription medication have 40 side effects?"
Pharmacist replies: "Cause that's all we've documented so far."

A woman and her husband approach their pharmacist and begin to ask questions like if the pharmacy checks for medications past their expiration date and the reliability of a certain company that makes birth control pills. Finally the pharmacist asks the couple what's the matter. The wife explains, "In spite of using birth control pills I continue to get pregnant."
The pharmacist is astounded and asks the woman if she takes them every day.
The woman replies, "My husband takes them every day."
"What ?" the pharmacist croaks.
"Yep. After we read all those potential side-effects, my husband said ' Ah honey.. I don't what you taking that stuff.. it's too dangerous,.....let ME take them.' "